Rainbow

Hokkaido Japan

2008-12-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

8th to 14th Dec 2008 2nd honeymoon at Hokkaido, Japan
First time experiencing snowing.

Thought

2008-09-13T10:43:00.001-07:00

Came in to write my blogs after reading some of the friends...
some blogs are really encouraging...

but i thought, blogs is still impersonal.
sometimes, one way interaction.

blogs can be "misused" too.

anyway,
life has its "exciting" things happening.
to me, a human, no escape.
some got me thinking.
some just got me feeling.
there is one incident particularly, got me to hear from God.
it was thinking, feeling ( a short one, lasted a day) and then thinking.

sat behind with 3.
6 in front.
my feel says stay with 3.
but He say: are you not going forward to lead the 6?
i qtn: but how? what about 3?
He replied: rem what I called you to?
i think, and replied: ok...

home: i feel, and i cried, together with him.thank God for him.

God, You have to be there, and i know You will.
if there is anything i can, pls let me know.
let there be no miscommnucation btw me and You.
Holy Spirit, lift those who needs You.
and i realised, how small is the strength of us,
thank God,
so that to realise how great is His strength!

A milestone- miracle

2008-07-06T09:35:00.001-07:00

GOD,how often do i, mere human being, complicate our lives?
Even complicate our faith.
How often we allow circumstances, our physical eyes blocked our view of YOU?
countless times, isnt it?

during this 40days of fasting and praying,
there are a few specific personal prayers.

Today is special.
we saw again YOUR miracle.
Your Hand moving and by Your grace, letting us experience You.
we both teared, tears of joy.
how funny we both thought, GOD just did a miracle, yet we teared...
Coz how can it be done without YOU? It must be YOU.

GOD, indeed, it was not a easy journey.
Its easy to choose not to believe,or so we thought.
to believe is hard, coz we are seeing with our human eyes.

There were doubts.
questions.
anxiety.
fears.
worries.

yet one by one, we released to YOU.
we still believe in YOU.
YOu are a GOD who never fails.
YOU will do as YOU promise.
YOU will have the best plans for us.

This is such a miracle.
and we both know, its YOUR perfect timing.
THank YOU, faithful LORD.

Put into us a greater desire to serve YOU
Psuhing forward the kingdom
what a privilege to be YOUR children!
amen!

Southern Ridge_28thJune2008

2008-07-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

Human Bowling - FUN!

2008-06-12T08:59:00.001-07:00

Take a look at this, when CG had our fun times too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyXNPoCa8dI

Some more pictures of camp 2008

2008-06-12T08:34:00.001-07:00

Actsperience GOD Adults Church camp 2008

2008-06-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

Actsperience K.L
Task: Take a CG pic that reflects the camp theme verse Genesis 28:3
May GOD almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nYq0JDBhU

Testimony of my colleague's conversion!

2007-12-30T21:18:00.001-08:00

My colleague XY, converted on the 30th Dec 2007! :)

I known this colleague for about half a year now. But i have not really know her deeper. We both came into the same school Jul 2007. However she is in the morning session while i was in the afternoon. in fact i was closer to those in the afternoon session teachers....what we have in common probably we are both new to the school.

It was only moments of time here and there we exchanged our hi and byes...

on 27th Dec 07, we went back to school for AGM. Caught up with her then about how we spent the holidays...then i got to know she actually went to a christmas svc back in her hometown with her mum. (who is a believer) It was a brief moment as the meeting was about to start...i rem in that conversation she asked: Does your church allow people just walk in or they need to have a friend there? ....totally amazed at the sincere question, i replied: of course you can just walk into the church....

After the meeting, i was personally "burdened" by the amount of work i forsee in the school term. i walked back home talking to my Father: GOD, why u put me in this school huh?"
Then i was quickly being reminded of the conversation i had with XY, His still small voice impressed on my heart:" what if it is just for this one soul?"
Heart was being humbled and i responded:" ok ok, if it is for this one soul, i will stay...."
GOD truly is amazing and faithful.

i gave a msg to extend invitation to sun svc to XY and she immediately agreed. i could tell she was waiting for the invite...:P

Filled with a lot of excitement yet apprehension, firstly, i do not know her well. And i do not know how ready she is...etc etc...
I rem on sat and sun morning pre svc prayer, i keep praying for her conversion...
at the svc during the holy communion time, His voice came again....
" Why did you lose focus?...Dont focus on her conversion. WHat if you are part of the process of her journey...just sowing or watering only...Focus on ME."
my heart humbled (again):" ok, sorry...GOD. i let go. even if i am supposed to be just sowing on her, let it be...i will trust in You."

Heart released...i enjoyed the sermon by Ps Ben a lot...Following GOD's lead.
At the response time, i just waited...for HIS voice to tell me whether to ask XY or not...
Ps Ben asked for a response from pre believers...(not the subtle hands raised, but to stand up wor...)
i opened my eyes. and looked at XY, she was already standing up!! she saw me....we smiled....WOW!! PTL! i knew it had to be GOD! Thank you Lord.

(as i am writing now, i was again reminded one of my prayers few days ago. SQ told me can ask GOD for marriage gift...and in my heart then, i was telling Him, if only one gift, i ask for the gift of salvation of my family and pple ard me...but hor, truthfully, XY did not come across my mind tt time. :P and truthfully, i knew in my heart (since only one gift, as i thought) i felt a pinch in my heart that i was hoping that i "can ask" from GOD to give the house for both of us...still self-seeking tt time...whahahaa...)

GOD will lead you to where His grace can be found.
There must be a purpose of where He placed us.
GOD is faithful even when we are faithless.
When our heart is still, we can hear HIS still small voice.
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.
The gift that truly brings joy is indeed the gift of salvation.

Thank LORD, for being in my life!
amen!

Thanksgiving!!

2007-12-01T23:08:00.000-08:00

Christmas is not here yet, coming soon...
but with thanksgiving, it helps us, at least me, to remember GOD's goodness.and not taking GOD for granted....here's some of thanksgiving recently....

1) first of all, and one of the major event is that finally some work have started rolling....for next year 15th March. venue is confirmed, Christ of church ,Malaya. Some key people are helping...thank GOD for joe and mz. kim is doing what she is good at, creating invitation card, which we def can trust her on tt. Thank GOD for her. Jason who is so willing to do photograhy for us on tt day, which is another underexposed talent in him...Thank GOD for him. carol ang helping for decor...will be sight-enjoyable. (if there's such a word)How joo, best in singing, of course must chop him to lead the PnW...wow...rem at the wedding i went, his leading was anointed and ministering...:) thank GOD for cryst, so readily helping out for support singing. and cuifen for playing the keyboard. there will be more to come, but GOD def will bring the right people into the right place...

2) yea! going a short trip soon from 5th-14th Dec...after these couple of years...finally. praying for a confirmation from GOD through this trip. may my heart be humble and sensitive to HIM and hear His voice...

3) mum, da jie and er jie going to taiwan...thank GOD for this chance to really let my mum go out to see the world. always had this idea, never came through because we are so busy with work here. finally. though i cant go with them. nevertheless, thank GOD. also a good chance to learn be more independent, since the last time i move into hostel/ministry house...nah, just those few days...:)

4) thank GOD that i got a free digital camera and a mp3!! free because it went below the amt i was given as a kind of allowance for education officers! :P had hestitate for some time, wanted to get stg useful, guess these had to come.

5) THANK GOD, for the two months bonus! hvnt really got the money in yet, heard over the news....yea...

7) thank GOD for HIs amazing strength with me while i was working on Hope Sem assignment. thought i needed a lot of time, need complete before i leave for trip. and i have finished!! 17 long pgs...its a milestone to completing my certificate in Hope Sem! amen!

8) heard from colleagues...next year most likely i will be in afternoon session again...lower primary...which is GOOD...and maybe involved in a CCA which i like...hope it will come true...but even if not, THANK GOD whichever comes, i have the faith and assurance HE will walk together with me. mountain peak / valley deep, He will never forsake nor leave me.

9) at last corp prayer meet, Ps Jo was asking those who have comforted by GOD to comfort others...those who have faith, to stand and pray for others....i hesitate...thinking what have i got to give...think think...i just simply thought GOD has given me so much that, i can just pray for anything for others...when i chose to stand, it was out of faith i believe GOD cn use me....despite whatever i may/may not have gone through. i stood only to found out that maybe i misunerstood Ps Jo words...when i answered him: i stand, because i just wan to pray for others...people ard me laughed, some even i know..i dun know the reason why they laugh. did i say anything wrong? maybe there was a genuine reason to laugh. but at tt moment, i felt like a "fool"...felt more like i was laughed at. at the end of the day, i thank GOD, i prayed for a few people. which was my intention. i believe in the power of prayers, people need other to pray alongside with them. at the end of the day, i chose to believe in faith in action, then believe in the thoughts of outward expressions and expectations from people. amen! GOD, let me know if i am wrong. otherwse, train me to be better.

10) thank GOD for the holidays....to do work still but at a relaxed pace. Pray tt all work will be done in such excellent way that will glorify Your name! amen!

Lord, forgive me for again ignoring Your voice. help me to breakthrough this cycle. Sorry for breaking Your heart. break my heart too, so that my heart will be tender again. i wan to draw so much closer to You, to be with YOu, in You. Let more of Your spirit and word fill my being. Thank GOD, because it will be done not by human efforts, which can nvr be done. BUT it will be done through YOUR grace, as i put my faith in You. in Jesus name, amen!

When we try ...

2007-11-24T19:12:00.000-08:00

What does it mean when someone says "i try"...

i will do it no matter how much i dont mean it.
i had enough, but because my mind still says to do the right thing, so i try.
there is nothing else i can do except just to try. (harder)

"ta han"?? maybe...

I try, because there is a good reason to contd on.
i try as i can see the rainbow after the rain.
i try this one more time, because i believe there is Truth.

Jia you?? maybe...

i personally think the comfort thing in the midst of trying...is to have SOMEONE beside you, to give you tt little nudge, tt little support behind, tt few words of encouragement, or even just a prayer...
What's more valuable is JESUS walking right there alongside, when we try.

May He gives grace to all who are willing to try. ( Not alone, but together with the Lord)

At the foot of the Cross

2007-11-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

At the foot of the Cross (by Marcia, Unknown)

Fearing the battle was overAnd I'd already lost the war,I was tired of trying and failing.I just couldn't fight anymore.

So, dragging my battle-scarred body,I crawled to the foot of the cross.And I sobbed. 'Oh please, Father forgive me. But I tried...I tried.. and still lost.'

Then the air grew silent around me.I heard his voice just as clear as the dawn:'Oh, My child, though you are tired and weary,You can't stop, you have to go on.'

At the foot of the Cross , where I met Him,At the foot of the Cross, where He died,I felt love, as I knelt in His presence .I felt hope, as I looked in His eyes.

Then He gathered me lovingly to Him,As around us God's light clearly shone.And together we walked though my lifetimeTo heal every wound I had known.

I found bits of my dreams, long forgotten ,And pieces of my life on the floor.But I watched as He tenderly blessed them,And my life was worth living once more.

I knew then why I had been losing.I knew why I had not grown.At the foot of the Cross came the answer:I'd been fighting the battle alone .

At the foot of the Cross, where I met Him,At the foot of the Cross, where He died,Then I knew I could face any challengeTogether--just my Lord and I.

Old friend

2007-11-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

this old fren came to mind...with the previous entry.(its a blessing to be in GOD's people)

hm...tday, over a conversation with him. Glad he can be my mirror, always reflect what are the dark spots in my life. i think we are more like very good friends who really speak directly, without fear tt the other person will misunderstand....:P Even if, we will surely let the other person know. haha. sometimes, i give black face, say negative words...sometimes i wonder, how he "tahan" me...thank GOD, he is "well-trained" by YOU.

2007-11-11T08:04:00.000-08:00

11 th Nov 2007

It is a blessing to be in GOD's people.

what it means to grow in love, in truth, sharpen each other?

it takes heartache...but tt also means the heart is in tt relationship. Thank GOD.

with the more and more "different" people coming into the church? are we ready to receive them? what am i supposed to do?

today, an old blind uncle just sat 2seats away from me. accompanying him are two ladies, an indian, another chinese. They are pre-believers, their first time.

to me, first instance i saw them...a bit of fear. coz of the few times of encounter already, of the reality of what i heard about other ocassions. but i still want to ask: what shall i say? what do YOU want me to do? tho nothing, but i enjoy the process of seeking....for in all of our life, we need to seek YOU always....

... ... ... ...

it was a hard decision. as humanly speaking, perhaps it were the "me" some time back, i would have chosen otherwise. BUT today, i ask for an answer. coz i really do not know what decision to make and i know Your way will be the best.

to stay with CG for lunch, esp this week there is no leadership meeting, where i can catch up with some of CG pple. OR to go with poy to meet up this fren, CP. ???

i started asking since in the morning ... the answer came so so direct through the video, where Pastor spoke. GO WHERE THEY ARE, and not asking them to come. i pray...

first time, i stand in the viewing gallery. the coffin goes in. even for my dad's, all of my family members were so blur, that we didnt get to see. perhaps it was meant to be. Coz we may not be able to take it. BUT this time, i hold my water in my eyes. As i hear the cries of this fren. tho i know him through poy, only a couple of times, but the face is imprinted. a burden builds up. Lord, really pray for CP that YOU will meet him in his heart. Let all the words of comfort he hears over this christian wake light up his spirit. LORD, somehow, i know he will be a great man in YOUR kingdom. He will make such an impact. GOD, protect him, give him grace to know YOU. now tt his father is gone to be with YOU, let his heart see the FAtherly Figure that ONLY YOU can fill. i pray and commit him into YOUR hands! IJN, amen!!

(Lord, pray that me and poy will be faithful to pray for CP)

Little thots and inspirations

2007-05-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

Haha, got to reset my password, guess its been a long time since i logged onto my own blog.
was reminded by rachel yest. and i thought so many things what shall i blog?
then this morning came, a call came that encourages me timely.
got me to reflect how many times, the little things we do in life, sometimes, inspired by GOD Himself, can be of refreshment to others.
yest was also a tiring day for me.
9am-5pm. trying to be attentive to all the talks at NIE. imagine with me, that we sit, stand, eat, sit again...at same one place. tho i cant agree more that the talk was really helpful for us, but its the long hours that makes it very tedious for us. ( i guess much more for the speakers) got to catch up with a few friends tho. got to keep this network going...:)
strangely, as i travel to CG venue, i actually had the fight to go CG or not. yes i did. as human as i was. coz i had this feverish feeling through my body, plus the tiredness accumulated over the long day. i tried sleeping during the mrt trip. hoping it will be better. but when i woke up at doby ghaut , i was so much tempted to msg meiyan, that i was not feeling well and i really wanted to rest. at tt time, i also develop a sore throat, mild one. after all, i thought meiyan should be able to handle and many may not be able to make it.
"dragged" myself still to cineleisure. seated at one of the seats, feeling not so well. telling myself either i feel so sick till i really cant stay any longer or i pray till i get well. coz its a"struggle to be neither this or that. so i chose the latter. i pray la, saw mingzhu coming, meiyan coming. i prayed for myself, GOD to use me to minister to others. i just need to be well. Jesus! ( tt's was somewhat how i feel at tt time)
finally, glad to see a new face in the group. qifen came for the first time.
as she was in my little group, was glad got to know her better. tho it was a small group yest, ( carol ang, rachel, june, meiyan, mingzhu, qifen) but sure we had a good appetite for GOD's words and also snow ice mango (dessert) at Xin Wang Hongkong cafe.
at the end of the day, reaching home, tired but thankful, a day spent in the fellowship of the LORD and others. THANK YOU LORD.
help us to discover the dreams YOU gave to us! ( tt's the topic we talked about at sisters CG)
amen! :P

Just sharing some little inspiration i had some time ago. nvr imagine myself to write stg like tt. at point of writing, i knew it was inspired through HOLY Spirit. (note: deleted some little parts, coz quite personal still to me. no worries, the person i refer to already got this msg)

Friday, May 04, 2007 6:19 AM
Morning breaks.
another day of rain.
what a day.
what matters is how we use this day.

No amount of rain can drown us in the Presence of GOD
its about how big we allow our heart to take Jesus in.

No tough day at work can drag us to the Strength of GOD
its about how much we rely on Jesus to empower us.

Its all about Jesus.
Jesus, today, i pray for You to remain in us as we remain in You.
for all the things on earth.
You are above all.

Take my heart and my strength.
Let them be of use
to shine for You
i pray for Your love
amazing Love to uplift _____'s heart
in every way
Thank YOu Jesus,
i pray _________
amen!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007 3:47 PM
it was a dark night
raining, lamps shining bright
strolling and enjoying
the cold dark night

i looked back
the path alone without lack
thank YOU
my dear Lord

now there was another
footprints together
You brought him to me
two become one.

i look forward
the path ahead with joy
thank you,
my dear ___

again
it was a dark night
raining, lamps shining bright
strolling and enjoying
the two called knights

Trust in the Lord (school)

2007-04-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

GOD
i begin to understand You more now.
what a grace!
Thank You!

Easter:
i remember on Fri morning, when a small group of us ( GR, Poy, MZ, Law, YC, Adel, Dennis,Rach) woke up leisurely after a long nite on thurs at chalet. we pryed for the event to be a success an more importantly we and our friends can taste the true meaning of easter. during the prayer, i got an impression on my heart about God reminding us about the woman who stood among the Jews and Jesus, Jesus told them, let those who are sinless be the first to stone her. Its all about our sins, standing before GOD's judgment. its about God's grace that like Jesus understood the woman, God will bring us to Him.

Amazingly, on easter sunday, the message was EXACTLY the smae passage. oh LORD, once again i m glad i heard You! :)

Sunday easter, we had a beautiful lady joining us for the first time and receiving Christ on tt very day! Carol, i pray that in your new journey with GOD, He will be Your shepherd, growing and receiving strength from Him.She is indeed fearfully and wonderfully made, i thank GOD i saw this divine opportunity of seeing Your hand working through.
there was this day, i was sitting with sandy having our shepherding time at S11. a lady came over. just asked sandy: do you give tuition? we were surprised. i recognise her as one of those working at S11. and there was a turning point. sandy invited her to service, and on tt day, while she sat beside me, i did not know what to expect. i just prayed for all those who come. (plus andrew, qi jie, gin, wilson's mum - madarin service) Thank Jesus, thank you, sandy.

to me, it was a very touching easter service, the songs presentation. especially the one with animation. i teared. i was touched to be reminded of the reason why Jesus came, He came for me. He took his hand and hold my hand all the while, nvr let go, even at times i wanted to run away for a while...thank You Jesus, for your faithfulness. the girl reminded that it was me. i like to ask a lot of qtns to Father. why? why? Father did not tell me so at every time. He merely told me to wait inside while He goes out. Father will have a time to say, He will finally bring everything to light. it was done and said when Jesus finally went up on the cross. no more explanation needed. the time for Father to say. it will happen. it teaches me a lot about asking and waiting and experiencing.

Prasie GOD!

At School
today was the last day for a girl ( P3-8). she is transferring to another school. though i did not have much relationship with her, since i was there only for a short while. i was very touched by a scene today. my teacher mentor requested to take 10mins at the end of class, to have a mini celebration for her. she brought cakes. she also suggested that i can ask the pupils to write on the white board for some well-wishes. when i saw her looking at the words on the white board, her smiles and giggles really touched me. i tried to hold my tears. such a innocent child, which i can no longer find such in adults. Lord, bless her. i pray she will come to know You too.

and international friendship day. there was a celebration today in the hall. i was surprised that there were two stories shared. one of these folktale was about a crab with a cross. it shared about a captain who prayed and saved from storm by him dropping a cross into the sea. later a crab found to have a cross. in fact, through the story, elements on GOD, prayer, and even people saying praise GOD. inside my heart, i was amazed. nvr did i expect that things of GOD can be shared openly in this school, in fact to a huge crowd at assembly. LORD, prepare me if there will come a time and a chance for me to do likewise. it seems diffciult for me now to do so, but if You will, let me know.

i thank GOD for a friendship i gained with one of the pracitucm friends. there are five of us, only myself and another gal are chinese teachers. hence i had more time with her. it was amazing since the start when she first asked me what i do during weekends, which i told her i am a christian and goes to church, it was so much easier now to bring up topics on GOD. and i am so blessed coz i recd a gift from her recently. i was amzed, coz she said it was a gift to thank me for helping her out during past weeks. i thought to myself, i did not do much le. Thank GOD for this love You gave so that i can love others that they too experienced this love. and today during our trip back home, i shared with her that i am going for a course on sat, MPC. started to share about my terstimony of how GOD brough me abnd poy otgether through prayers etc...and she was so interested in it about recding GOd's visions that she shared soem of what she heard from her christians friend. today i brought a truth of GOD is sipirit and He understnads us and He will talk to us. i pray there will be more times like there. time is running and ticking away, there will nvr come a time again. i pray that i can seize every opportunity to share God's love in where Your grace will bring me to.

amen!!

God. help me. so many things i need to handle now. the experience of grace will come. i cant understand many thigns myself. it is not easy to stand as a servant leader, people need to know people need to be directed. yet Lord, i cant say, i had my own share of diffculties which i felt being pressed down. yet, i am not destroyed. there are fellow family of GOD. see them in the light of You. Lord, teach me if i am wrong. Lord, show me where You want to use me to bring others to You. Lord, i need to trust in You with all heart. lean not on my own understanding. acknowldege You in all my ways and He will make my paths straight.in Jesus Name,amen!!

Catching up....

2007-03-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

2007 started...3 months now.
busy at NIE, yet those are my training and outreaching grounds....
how have i impacted them? how have i changed over the year....hmm. :P

was "shocked"when i recd the news that i will be teaching in Mee Toh for my practicum.
at least i was not "prepared"for tt.
i rem i had prayed to GOD : send me to the school that needs me....
nvr did i expect this school.
firstly, i guessed it was because it is a buddhist temple supported school. a school of over 53years now...a school which is giving higher mother tongue....wow....
now that i am in the school for 2weeks...( sick for 3days for an sudden "relapse"of swelling of my vocal chords...lost voice...") i am glad i am here.
one thing i give thanks to GOD, the pupils here are wonderfully made.
as little P2 and P3 which i am teaching, they have their innocence and childlikeness....things i know i would definitely learn from them much. tt's one big privilege of teachers, or rather whose working places is related to children. we just get younger each day....haha. :p

i begin to love these new faces...i try to rem their names...and tt's about a whole of 110 children loh...
LORD, give me Your love to love them. Give me eyes to see their potential. Give me discerning heart to know what are their needs....give me strength to cope each day with them. give me peace at times when i know i will get angry with them. give em joy to share with them, so that their learning school days will be joyful.
esp for those few that i came to know their background...LORD, Your will be done.amen!!
Mee toh, here's my 10weeks, LORD may YOu multiply these times to be an impactful one!

had my BD this year, was sick, yet thankful i manage to get up and joined them at vivo city , with GR and my first time with Joe....it was a big crowd.
i am thankful everyyear on my BD, there's this group of friends who will faithfully celebrate with me. LORD, bless our friendships....
and this year BD was extra special.
i did not expect it, yet i know GOD You are there with us.
we had dinner on sunday, the actual day.
i did not expect him to get me a present....he said it was in his bag...i took it out, intially thought it was a book, and i was literally "dumbfounded"when i saw it was a ring pillow. it has a written note on it...i dun know what to do.
guess it was my first ( and also the last) time i recd this kind of "present"...i dont rem i said anything...
how funny i thought, when he said grace and also praye dto GOD that i would be able to give him an answer after dinner....so we just eat and contd to eat...it was both akward and also at the same time, i was conversing with GOD deep in my heart....
am i ready for it? yes, i know and hope this courtship would end in marriage. Yet how "contradictory"was it in my heart when it came. i was not too sure...
i could only rem tt dinner time, my heart was crying out so loud: LORD...how? yes or no?...

we then walked to rachel's house to collect a book from her...then i thought if he would ask me again...then it may be better we talked through seriously about it....i dun wan a yes answer just for him only.cos i know my heart can be so easily ïnfluence"and saying yes when i myself may not be able to agree to it. i wan a yes answer for BOTH of us. ....

he stopped by the carpark....i wan to see his seriousnes...many times in the past, when we brought up this qtn, he seems not serious enough to convince me. he tried, i can see...
but is it now? i thought.
deep in my heart, i knew i need to be assured of stg...but at tt moment i just can seem to pinpoint what it is...
we walked...stopped again at the pavement by the roadside. he looked at me and asked me how i feel.....he said stgs to me...( haha...so touching that i just dun know how to put it here in the blog...:P) and it immediately cleared the öbstacle"within in my heart....he gave me two options: if i kissed him, it means a yes. if i dont, it means a no.
LORD, thank YOU for this wonderful BD gift that i ever recd.
This man right here with me. a wonderful gift which YOU prepared for me.
this man who taught me to live a life with YOU, simple heart and with faith.
this man i know i am called to serve him with all that i am, with all that i can.
this man whom i respect for his heart for You, this man i love because YOU first love us.
LORD, i pray for all those who desire a man in their lives,that YOU will bless them as much as, if not even more, abundantly as they seek YOUR will be done.

this is another milestone. i pray for this marriage to come, that we will walk even more closely with YOU. Thank You for YOur grace that YOU forgive all the mistakes we have made during this courtship, and i believe YOUR presence will be with us to guide us to be more and more aligned to YOUR WILL. amen. i pray for all those who will be in courtship next time, that YOU will bless them and our ears be ever so sensitive to YOU. use both of us that we cna help those in courtship next time, so that they will not need to make the same mistakes as us. thank YOU Lord.

Yest was our Sub District gathering.
( dennis, wilson, jason, andrew, adel, cc)
a bell. looks like a chime.
"cling! cling!"
there's a time for everything.
a time to harvest, a time to reap.
a time to step out, a time to be still.
a time to speak, a tiem to be listening.
be ready for HIS time.
catch His time.
how to know? listen to the "cling! cling!" be watchful.
the "cling ! cling!"sounds...the train comes...then its time to hop on. a time to move on.
be ready when it comes.
amen!!
LORD pray that our CG be enagaing the world for GOD by becomign a distinctive disciples who SHINES with CHrist's light.
S- Spirituality
H-Humble servanthood
I-INtegrate Christian living
N-Nations passion
E-Eternal perspective
i submit this vision to YOu, may YOur will be done as we walk with faith and faithfulness.
amen!

Prayers comes with actions.

2006-12-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

it was still amazing to me, recalling what happen on Tues nite.

Poy and myself were praying for our families. I was also praying for his da-ge and family to come to know God in my personal times. at times, after prayers, there's seems to be something tinkling inside, something seems to be missing.

On sunday, after a hospital visit to see a sister, we went back to poy's home. i was supposed to collect some"stuff left after the chalet event. however, was invited for a dinner with them. As poy was showering, it was one of those rare times i sat with his family ( without him around) for dinner. his mum was sick, not having dinner, so at the table were his dad, ( who just bought the dishes back home) , his da-ge and da-sao. As usual, only converse with his da-sao and his dad. His da-ge remained to be a man of few words.

As i was leaving the house, usually would go to his da-ge's room, where he would still be working, to say goodbyes. That day, i did. HOwever, recalling poy was mentioning , rather challenging me, hee, while we were back home to ask his da-ge for christmas svcs, if they are not going overseas trip. Indeed, God's words reminded me at that moment, Ps Jeff was teaching us earlier during the sermon that to have a miracle, we need to be willing to lose face, and willing to experience rejections. That boosted my faith and courage to ask, though could vaguely remember i ask directly stg that goes: are you all free on 23rd Dec, wna to join us for christmas svc?.....hee, after tt, only to realise i invited for the wrong svc also....haha.
His reply: see how la....
but inside of me, there was already a change. a transformation done. PTL! at least, to me, personally, to ask is already a challeng and i rejoice because tt was a first step towards MORE!....:P

Keep on praying is good, but when we pray yet we dont take actions on our part, how can God release what He wants to do through us.

i pray for more time to talk to his da-ge.

on Tues nite, after a church intercessory time at Nexus. i was walking towards Doby Ghaut MRT. i saw his da-ge walking alone, going to get his car. he offered to drive me home. i rem i rejected about twice then i took the offer. wow, i thank God that i was not very "stubborn"on tt. because during the car ride home, i was alone with him, in tt sense, i can get to know him better. He started to ask me questions and we found some common grounds to talk about, at least one was NTU Acc and Biz faculty. Though it was donkey years ago, that was stg to start off ba...:) it was a breakthrough from the many times i was at home with the presence of poy's da-sao and the rest of them. it was so different from the usual "hello"and byebyes.

what was more amzing was after so long knowing poy or rather, his da-ge, this opportune time to mt him was first time!! mtg him out in the streets, along with him for some time. and it was right after a prayer to God to create such time! wah, God is so powerful. He controls the time and incidents....amen!

And we all know, as we pray according to His will and purpose, He will answer our prayers!!

what are the prayers? are the prayers we pray still the same as many months ago?
is there something we can do to breakthrough? as God release His power through us.

Prayers come with faith.
Faith comes with actions.
Actions done by us!
all in His hands.

圣诞之语 - 两则

2006-12-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

第一则：
事情不逐我意时，
求主让我不抱怨；
赐我恩典和智慧，
今日按你旨意行。

忠心耕耘，收获靠上帝。

第二则：
圣诞歌和雪橇铃声泛滥，
包装的马槽吸引着目光；
但在那黑暗和喧嚣之处，
伯利恒星依然光彩夺目。

基督才是庆祝圣诞的原因。

主，今年的圣诞又会是怎么样的？
一切信靠于你，因为
Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits upon the throne.
And unto the Lamb
Praise and Glory, wisdom and thanks,
Honor and power and strength
Be to Our God, Forever and ever (3X)
Amen!

And we, the redeemed shall be strong
In purpose and unity
Declaring aloud
Praise and Glory, wisdom and thanks,
Honor and power and strength
Be to Our God, Forever and ever (3X)
Amen!

My First Marathon- GROE(3rd Dec 06)

2006-12-06T16:11:00.000-08:00

GROE - Greatest Race on Earth. ( www.singaporemarathon.com)

Standard Chartered Marathon 42.195km!

Singapore - 3rd Dec 2006 @ 6am.

Enjoy this journey with me...as much i had.

Pre-Run Condition

at home

i had only went east coast twice, once, 10km and another managed to hit abt 16km to the turnaround point at east coast( the one poy told me to run until i see aeroplanes...:P) its a training of running, jogging, walking, dragging lo. and the final one i told myself to go, my usual running route, was to punngol park and managed to cover about 10km too.

and the "undesirable" thing that any gal would want to happen happened just days before the run. it makes all the running more challenging.

the night before personally was struck by another "bad"news from a close friend of mine, a sister. i rem right after the sat svc, during dinner, and only until the mrt, then i realised i just had to pray for her.and tt's all i can do for her, even though i would very much want to be with her in the next morning.Her face flashes across and only prayer can lift up the burdens within me. short but victorious one. indeed a breakthrough.Thank You Lord.

was emotionally "disturbed"yet went to sleep with an encouraging sms: "run or not run, nothing changes. God loves you......":P

awake. freshed. had a good 4+plus sleep. at least i managed to sleep despite the conditions.

did a few challenging decision for the run. to go run without stg and yet in my heart, hope nothing drastic will happen without it. :P

checked the belt my sweet brother gave me since he cant use it for his own run due to his feet injury. he was so nice that he got everything ready for me. even putting the bib tag etc.

while i was eating my powerbar, wild berry flavour. very awful! :P but had to swallowed it, just like a little kid having to finish up the medicine. ee...anyway, my xiaomei was also very nice. she helped me tied the timing chip to my shoe laces. haha, am i pampered or not?! we are ready to go, as we wait for xiaodi's and sandy's call. even my mum was awake just to check we are in "good"condition before we went out. i told her to watch out for the news, i may just hit the headlines, the record-breaker for the longest timing in all previous marathons! whaa!.:)

At the padang.

i was in cab, seeing the crowds getting ready, walking to wards the same direction...:) it was a beautiful sight. right then after depositing the baggages, went for the mobile toilets and tt's when i met jason. i rem his blur look. then we gathered at the bridge. to do our stretching and rubbing the deep heat. woo....ah! then had a short prayer. it was significant. i rem i pray that GOd be with us throughout the race, and we will have presonal breakthroughs through the race. i trust and i believe God answered. ee...about to start but we hvnt get to see Da jianming le....:)

Start.

Poy, joe, wilson, yicheng, jason, sandy and myself. we shaked hands and told each other: we'll mt at the finish line.

hee...overheard Xd saying to poy : mt u at ...after finish....hm, i asked : why u nvr say to me leh? must be thinking i will be super slow ya...well, it is also la...:P

i started running. i reminded myself not to forget to pray. :)

i was running with sandy. only saw XD, poy zoom zoom off....nowhere in sight liao. suddenly joe came from back and went past. he was nice enough to give me a smile and went ahead.

rem sandy was nice to ask me : it is ok?...knowing my condition...yea, i actually prayed that it would stop. hee...:P

i just run lo. it was helpful that we started in the wee mornign hrs , because i cannot see properly without my spectacles that i can only concentrated in running and keep ing my pace.

soon, i think i lost sandy somewhere.....was on my own. at the CBD area, two'tanned guys came up to me. they really look like they run a lot from their physical built, and somemore wearing sunglasses. hee. kinda of sandwiched by them, and one of them said: u are well-prepared , arnt you? hee, then i realised they are referring to the powergels showed at my back. only three mah...to think one dear bro got 7 lo!! :P was trying to run so didnt talk much with them, i only gave them a smile and replied them. then they zoom zoom off again.....

at 5km, when the daylight slowly showed....when the roads gets clearer....i was looking out for the kenyans on the other side of lane. sw a vehicle coming on, then the whole group of kenyans, mostly, srtiding as if no need of any strength....but they are so inspiring! wow!!! this was when yicheng came from my back and told me to look out....hee..i cant run with the kenyans, at least i can see them run....:P

the marina run was long....but i started to pray. because tt was one reason why i came. i prayed for dennis.....breakthrough...breakthrough....amen! eh, somehow i got a refreshment of strength after the prayer....amen! so i keep running...hm, but then i also realised i need toilet...but all the toilets have queues....long queues actually. so i prayed, God i cant see clearly, so help me to find a toilet. i just keep running....only after turn ard at marina, then i saw THE TOILET just beside the running road. i stopped, only 2pple infornt of me...yeah! relieved and started running again.....started to pray for kim....i just kept praying for her in heart, no words come out arelady, already panting by now. i rem at times, i just broke in tongues, hee, thankful not many people running beside me. otherwise they may think i have gone crazy. it was such a long run....i came out about 10km...11km..12km...do i need to eat huh? i though to myself, maybe i just contd to run....so i prayed for myself to contd on...it was already so amazing tyhat i kept running for 12km...which i had nvr did that before in my training. breakthrough. the prayers had helped me a lot! told myself to persevere, push myself to the longest. it was a competition within myself.

13km..17km....i was still praying for kim....when about to turn out toward the roads towards east coast. i was running across the bridge. a road marshal roller-bladed beside me....looking at me...i also dun know why...just smile and kept running...then only heard a guy from behind me asking the road marshal: give me a reason reason why i am here?!...to myself i thought: i came here to pray ya...but i dun kow about yours ....hee. a while later also came an old uncle....he ran past me and turn to say: enjoy. just enjoy.....

so i pick up my jogging steps agian and contd praying in heart...runnning for those i prayed. run and run...then i saw the 21km mark!!!!! yeah!!!! and i did it, running without major stops , other than the short ones i took to drink. BREAKTHROUGH. and i hvnt eat my powergel...breakthrough...and i think by then it was a whole 3hrs plus already...AMEN! God made it through with me!

somewhere from 21km on i had started to pray for shiming.....on and run and contd...i hvnt stopped. entering east coast....i pushed myself that to see until the 23km mark then i stop...by now, my legs are already aching, almost cramp...feeling so uncomfortable...no energy...even to eat my powergel...then i started to pray for june......even now i had minimal energy to "pray in my heart"liao....hao xin ku ya! eyes keep watching out for the 23km marker...its near...i rem then i literally took a stop...somewhere near the water station and took out the powergel to eat. argh! hao nan chi lo!thankful i took my xiaomei's suggestion to wait for water station to take my powergel...another medicine taking time...haha. :P

and eh, was it phychological or what, i actually had the engery to run on..so icontd.....but this time round, i can only concetntrating on running...no engery to pray...but God knows...

it was about, i think 25km or so...that i met joe. i had stopped to stretched my legs...he gave a heartwarming look, i knew he was asking me if i am ok....i gave to smile to assure him. and he awas at the other side of east coast lo! argh! :P running and walking....then i saw my xiaomei. it was she calling out my name then i realised. what?! she is so fast? she's at the other side too! so i thought the east coast loop shld be around ahead.....that spurred me a little, only a while later realised the loop is so far far away. then rain came.....wow! so nice. i rem at the bridge before we ran, i was saying how nice if it rained. then joe said stg like: no!....hee...:P rain is nice. memories of the running in the rain while at the army half amrathon-10km came. that was a paninful and good lesson learnt. here and now, i enjoyed it thoroughly. songs of praise and worship just came into my mind. rain- Holy Spirit rained on me.....wet, but i always loved the rain. i guess i was smiling while running...

when storms (rain) comes, remember, a rainbow will come after that.

i saw yicheng somewhere in front stopping to drink....i waved him a little, tt's all the engery i can do then. just signalled to him, keep running....and i run again....

it was a good draggy long 25km towards 35km at east coast.....mostly walk and jogging. i was at a point i literally closed my eyesalong the straigh east coast path, asking God to give me a vision because i am left with little motivation now. i had thoughts of walking all the way through to the end.... i rem at about the 32km, a big guy Caucasian, was walking beside me. He said: this is not the time to walk, u know. run! i give you 3secs...run..... oh no! what, run? okok, i try...and i actually started jogging again...i thought i do nt have the energy. AMEN! sometimes, perseverance can push the physical beyond.

was already walking, even walking was so difficult now. entering into marina promenade it was a long long journey. almost everyone around me were walking. i rem at a certain point, i almost sense the whoel atmosphere of tiredness, giving up, dragging etc.....i saw them walking super slow speed as mine...some stopped to sit at the benches alongside....thought came: when the marathon run is on, the ending is almost the most challenging part. the point to be so vulnerable and easily broken. i need to push myself. i have no more energy, but i can do what i can. to do my best to motivate them in such a way, that as i ran past them very slowly, to tell them its near. it can be done. i struggled, as we always struggled through our spiritual marathon, it was such painful, uphill journey...and amazingly, a few familar faces started to pick up their steps too! ( familiar because i was walking and jogging with them along the last 10km journey) i was very encouraged that without words, actions can motivate others too. i do not know whether it was really because of the initial jogging i started, but i am glad to see them to push themselves also, running their own race.

phew! fianlly the long awaited 41km....wanted to pick up running then but there was just no more strength. but i told myself to just finish it up to the best....42km....heard some cheering from sides..thought was the supporters...until i heard my name. saw poy. yeah, knew its near....saw XD and Joe too...:) so i started to jog towards the end. then an old ah bei came from behind. he was one of those who accompanied me along the way at marina promenade. wow, he ran beside me, took a look at me, , i return a smile. and we ran together to finish!!! AMEN!

DONE. went through. experienced. prayed. BREAKTHROUGH.

AFTER RUN

my legs wobbled...found a place to sit and stretched. sat there, until i can pick up my legs to walk again. my xiaomei came to chk if i was alrite. She gave an assuring word that it was a good timing for me...:P of course la, God ran with me. hee. i was only glad i can sit down finally.

return chip, collect t-shirt. thankful for poy to help me get the rest of stuff....went back to the 42km mark to join XD, joe. here, i also hit another amazing record personally, that i ate 3 bananas!! i was so so hungry ya. if not that i may "need go toilet" after eating bananas, i may just finish the whole bunch that poy gotten. hee...

we dragged to raffles city and went burger king! yeah, i rem along 30km+ i was actually thinking of eating burger king's burger, becoz i was so hungry then. :)

only aching at thighs, and bruised at my left feet that caused walking a bit difficult...but all is alright.

THankgivings

thank God who made a conviction in my heart after the army half marathon to ran for this marathon.

thank God who also ran with me.

thank God for poy, who assured me just at the point i was at deciding to go or not the night before.

thank God for Joe, XD who keep "pestering"me to join this marathon, that also factored in me joining this marathon.

thank God for sandy who keep her excitement so high that rubs off on me, that this race is His.

thank God for Jason, i rem pre ran, he said before: just go for the run, just "chiong"finish la.

thank God for YC: a good laugh to ease off my stress just before the ran. and made it all the more memorable with all your "power"gels!!!!! :P and of course, your sudden appearance at least 2 times while in the ran.

Thank God for the rain, which came so nice and appropraite. at least to me la.

thank God for the people who talked to me during the ran.

thank God for His songs to motivate me along the ran.

thank God for all the strength He has given me.

thank God it was a difficult ran, long enough to speak to me.

thank God that it is finish.

qtn: would i go again? unless its for a cause. :) if to merely break personal timing, i would not go. becoz so much time and effort needs to put in. not that i dun want to put in the time, just thought i need those time to do what i was made to do, to finish the work and the task i was called to do.

How can i ran my personal marathon when the marathon of God is undone? :) ( my own personal words)

of course, i am still interested in running ocassionally at east coast.etc.....will try to keep up my exercise once per week..hee.:P

Your Promises wont let go of me.

2006-11-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

whaa..."squeezed in a little time" here for my journey with Him.

why God?! I heard You, i obeyed, i gave, and i thought it was good. And now i learned a deeper meaning about sacrifice. Lord, when i see people enjoying what i used to have too, sometimes it really hurts deep , so much feelings inside. i also desire that, i know You heard me. but why?! i just simply cant understand now, at least now. but i still submit to You. i know Your promises will come to pass. i just pray, i hope i can go in time to come.

Ear infection has caused me to hear You spiritually. Frustrated with things ard, things ned not be that way, only if we follow and desire to follow Your will. Lord, have mercy, and lead us always. IN everything, we let YOu know our needs. amen!

L.I.S.T.E.N = Lord Is Sovereign, Take Effort Now.
Amen!

i like this song, esp this aprt that says: "all of Your promises wont let go of me..."
God is faithful even when we are unfaithful.
Pray for the harvest You will give to us this season!

Promises Desperation Band lyrics
Artist: Desperation Band
Album: Who We Are
Year: 2006
Title: Promises
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' ll your promises wont let go of me

I surrendered my life to your ways
I have learned what it means to obey
Jesus my heart has been changed by you
I am walking the path you have made
I am seeking the truth every day
Jesus my heart has been changed by you
I couldnt walk away if i tried
'Cause your love is better than life
Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant
Forget about it
Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
I surrenderd my life to your ways
I have learned what it means to obey
Jesus my heart has been changed by you
I am walking the path you have made
I am seeking the truth every day
Jesus my heart has been changed by you
I couldnt walk away if i tried
'Cause your love is better than life
Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant
Forget about it
Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me

Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant
Forget about it
Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
All your promises wont let go of me

Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me

House of The Lord-vision

2006-10-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

been a long long time.
its still the people.
went to a few blogs which i hvnt been to for a long long time. :P

NIE life is tough, tough situations build tough people! whaaa..

learnt a lot of things in NIE, from my classmates...relationship building....from scratch....knowing different cultures of people from HK, Taiwan, China....
most of all, God has always been with me.
amen!

Lord, open my eyes to touch their lives.
it may be for a very long time, it may be just for that moment...
anyhow, Lord, Your hand lead, only that i may respond to Your ways!
amen!

thank You for tt moment, while in the car ride to wall painting, i can talk with this new friend.
i rem i prayed for a day of difference earlier in the morning.
and You made it beautiful, indeed.
physically so tired, mentally too, just want to get things done.
yet, our conversation moved towards talking about You.
i could only rem one thing:
i had to say this " no matter what bad experiences you have, remmeber to KEEP THE FAITH"
he said: " ....yea...its true..."
wow, i knew God You will move in his heart, somehow.
Keep him in Your hands, because i do not know what else i can do for this friend.

Vision- Sunday ( 1st Oct)

a small front door...a slow flow of people streaming into the building.
this building has a cross at the top.
in fact, the sides of the walls also has many similar doors, but they are all closed.
inside, there are many people.
yet, each is busy with their own issues. they are storming around the place, walking up and down...seemingly going in some direction...
yet it seems not.
that is why many people outside building are still waiting...
waiting for the doors only to be opened.

amazing.
a gigantic cloud, in the shape of a hand.
hovering just at the top of the building.
it can only be YOURS.
the protection and guiding.
faithful Presence.

the view zoom out...
zoom out....
it was only found to be in a human's heart.
whose hearts hold?
called for a intercession.
only to be done by intercesion.
because, no man can.
By Your power, Spirit, and mighty hand.
AMEN!

be faithful in prayer.

Thanksgiving, Receiving joy from Him.

2006-08-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

Saturday: Youth Svc.
learnt about using "worst case scenarios" appraoch when faced with difficult situations.

Faith is not denying reality, but is trusting God more than reality.
because Jesus DID not say, " Pretend that this mountain is not here..."
BUt in Matthew 17:20 - Jesus said "say to this mountain, and it will move"

The source of faith ( object) is MORE important than the amount of faith ( size ).
1) i can have a lot of faith in something, but the object of faith may not be "true".
this will not work.
Throwing a bottle of water in the air n expecting it with great faith that it will stay in the air.
2) i can have little faith in soemthing, but the object of faith is true.
this will work.
Jumping down a height of 5cm with little faith.

Sunday Family Day
had a lot of fun fellowship with XD and joe, buying the cartons of drinks at sheng shiong market. marketing and cooking the tons of barley at my house.
it rained, i prayed, God made it beautiful.
at the end of day, we made a 100% receiavbles so that we can bless the students! Praise God!
i enjoyed the unity of fellowship in our unit.

Monday
a laptop bag from poy. blessed because it made my study at NIE more conveniently. dun need to wait for queue at computer labs.

Tuesday
Meet sandy's mum and serene. a long time since i chatted with her, a very good time of catching up. Thankful to God for this opportune time.

Wednesday
a short day at NIE. stayed to do our presentation on thurs, voliunteered to do the presentation slides. had a good time knowing my classmtes better.
a classmate who has been sharing a lot of her life experiences as a mother etc...shared to me after discussion: (paraphrased) i see you look so young, but can see you have a stand in what you think, and able to give your comments in a clear and systematic way...
i am encouraged to hear this, for these words showed me God's transforming power working in me through the years with His patience, and His grace to hold me obedient to Him.
hee, of course, another "good" thing is also she said i look YOUNG! whaaa...

glad the laptop i brought to school not only helped my group, and it also blessed another group, as i stayed with them in school for them to do some of their work. little things like these lightened the day with His joy, i give thanks.

Thursday
like rachel shared the story at CG, i give thanks that there is no other day like thurs.
first day we had a FULL long thurs at school. 93oam-730pm.
it was a "gong gong" start ( i mean "gong gong" to Boon Lay by MRT), then sit in class, play a word games with our teacher, out to another class, across the other end.
sit in class, 1 hr later, off to another. then rush to another class, 1 hr later, pack up quickly and go to another....and again... and again....
hurry can make my day the inability to love.
i give thanks, as i was preparing the discussion for CG, God foreknew and had me more aware and prepared.
a reminder to my heart through the Holy Spirit.
when i hear "complaints", "other not-so-good words...etc...i stop my heart not to "feel" the same, i let my heart be patient, slowing down for moments i can have with Father.
i need Your strength, perseverance, and joy!
phew! a packed day. mt rach and intially thought at such weird hours and ulu place, we would need take bus out first and then take cab to FF.but, God watches over us, immediately we came down the stairs at the bus stop, a taxi stopped over right there!!! God so so good!
hopped onto it after the passenger came out, then a friend who was at bus stop with us, we offered her a ride. for this little kind deed we can give to her, i give thanks. because there are no other day like this.

CG the hightlight of the day!!!!! really.
of course, it is almost every week we meet once a week, but there is no other day like this thurs CG! :)
the presence of sandy made a difference. thankful for the short conversation we had at CG, though it seems "normal daily conversation" but its all abt care and love through His strength.
had a "do what u want" seesion. we are all given some time to do what we want. no Hurry.
that moment, my brain ( very small one..:P) was trying to "compartmentalise" my studies notes and the discussion notes...etc....haha...concerned i may end up sharing my chinses lessons...brain juices was "squeezed" le....but for being able to still have that fruitful discussion, i give thanks.

Hurry people dun have time. Love takes time. Hurry makes us unable to receive love from Father and to give love to others.
Jesus was busy but nvr hurried. we cant walk faster than the One we are following.
Jesus, help us to lead a unhurreid life.

i give thanks for CG time, for through the discussion time, did not realise many things from CG people.
many had 5mins lunch thingy because of hurry....etc....:P
Lord, help us to have unhurried lunch, for that is also moment with You.

Friday
i give "extra extra" thanks today! whaaaa...a free day for me.
i give thanks that i can finally have some time to slow down,
the time to read and catch up with my tons of notes, in madarin le...:(
the time to spend at home with mum,
the time to finally hear the sunday's sermon CD,
the time to ldownload my lecture notes,
the time to have unhurried QT,
the time to blog thanksgivng,
the time i can meet siew qin for shepherding later,
the time to meet up with him too.
there is a time for everything.
there is a time for urgent thing, a time for important thing.

Lord, i want to enter TODAY with thanksgiving, with a hope for tmrw, reciving JOY in each day.
amen!

Life Purpose Statement

2006-08-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

National Day
at Yi Cheng's place
as usual fellowship as a CG.
it was a "laze" ard atmosphere,
many of them had a long and busy week.
but i am very encouraged to see them committing to the CG fellowship
despite its a holiday where they could have been somewhere esle
Lord, let Your presence draw them closer to this feloowship
Lord, thank You for all their committed hearts.

even the new believer's lives, i guess it may have taken them a lot to be committed.
but Lord, You have won their hearts.
i pray they will recieve more.
even xiaodi, who's out in deployment, i can sense his desire for You.
it was very encouraging to recd a prayer sms from him
praying for me to deliver a message to CG in YOur way
wow! an intercessor! yeah, Xiaodi, way to go ya!

Jason, despite his busy schedule at work over the days,
he mt dennis for follow up and then to CG.
wow, what a desire to know His word.

Joe, having to work shifts at work
came still and his hard work put in
for the community work on coming sunday
wow, what a kind heart, just like Jesus

Chiou pyng, the "little" brother in CG
though he did not come for CG
yet i recd a prayer sms from him on tt day
it was so encouraging.
i pray he will draw nearer to You

Rachel, the lady of the day!
when we came together to pray for her on her brithday
i sense the power of God over her
to rise above situations, emotions, tight schedules etc...
God will grant power and strength,
only to follow His ways and not to give up
Sis, am indeed encouraged to see your willingness to still "let go and let God"

yup, being someone to lead, very diffcult for me.
i rather sit at the back and support lo.
but God has called me
many times i dont understand
a "little" small, blur, not knowledgable etc.. person like me,
a leader?! but i trust Him
He said, it will be
i rem a vision He gave to me on Sunday
" i was at the peak of a mountain, looking up to heavens...from the peak, many ropes were drawn downslope. there are many who are at different stage of their climb up the mountain. i saw one having a lot of difficult, and i had so much desire to do right down and be with th eperson, and letting go of the rest...yet, voice said: if u are to go down now, what abt the rest? they would not know where to go...u have to stay there, right there at the peak, so that to lead many, still and know I AM. "
"ok, Lord. i trust You. i let go of my personal feelings and desires, i let You."

Do not become weary in doing good, for at a proper time, He will bring a harvest.
amen!

At CG:
5 C's of life:
1) What will be the center of my life?
2) what will be the character of my life? (discipleship)
3) what will be the contribution of my life? (Service)
4) what will be the communication of my life? (Mission)
5) what will be the community of my life? (fellowship)

what is important is not God to make our plans work, but we avail ourselves to His plans.

amen!

Lord, do a deeper work in this CG, dug into our life purposes, lead us into Your way. even as we go through this coming 2-3 weeks of changes and happenings, help us to be prepare to contd to be a light shining brightly as Jesus do. that all of us will not be light blubs that are already burst, nor ones that are flickering, nor ones that are dim, but we pray that Jesus will shine on us and through us! amen!

just one pic-Poy and me.Courage!

2006-08-06T02:04:00.000-07:00

Father i thank You for bringing us together. Even before we came to know each other, You are watching over us, and moulding us, guiding every of our steps to bring us this wonderful blessing. You prepare poy and me individually in our lives, and by Your grace, we had waited upon You to experience this together with You. Praise You! i pray even as many as those who come across this entry of my journal, You will bless their hearts. i pray for them that these testimonies of poy and myself will serve an encouragement to them, that You are God who really cares and will guide them in bringing Your Best plan for them, and bringing the partner You have planned for them,as they patiently wait upon You and obey You. i pray even as the days go by, poy and myself will contd to grow in our walk with You, serving You with greater capacity as one as You joined our hearts together now to love You even more deeply. i pray for Your protection over us that we can be living testimonies for many who may face similar situations as us at one point or another. Father, let all glory and honor be Yours. Jesus, help us to obey You more and more, and to be powerful armor bearers to bring Your love to many people around us. In Mighty Name of Jesus, amen!!

dear all who see this pic, it is by God's courage that was put into my heart to post this. being my very nature self, i would not have put this pic. i do this for poy and for you all, praying and hoping you all be blessed throogh it. hee.:P

a changed me after God's patient moulding.

many changes to come too... :)

God's wonderful gift to me! Part Two (CC)

2006-08-06T02:01:00.000-07:00

It has to be you – Testimony

It all began in my heart sometime when I was facing the lowest point in my life.
I had to deal with my dad’s parting from my family; his absence got me to see His love shown from Poy to me.

Every night, Poy was there. Perhaps it was also because he stays near me. but to show that kind of unconditional love, I was touched, be it from just a pure brother’s love to a sister. That is God’s love.

What went deeper was when Poy turned up on the day of cremation, he took half day leave and appeared right there when I needed to see a familiar face. Not from my family members, because they are also at the stage of grieving over the parting. I was very touched at that time, I did not think any further because it was all too much for me to take. I have a lot more in my mind to think about to take any thing close to relationship with him. I knew too, that at the period, I can be emotionally unstable and I would not want to make a decision at that point. it would not have been wise. i wanted God's plan.

I remembered there was a instance at church camp 2005, I almost “fall down” ( mentality) at the lowest time during a praise and worship, I cannot take it all already, then he gave me a nudge, asking me to focus on God, focus on praising and worshipping Him. That was a significant moment.

Then days went passed. I continue to serve God in what God has called, serving together, and during the midst I got to understand Poy much more. I saw his heart for people, I saw his reactions when things are down, went through his low and up times, encouraging him when I saw he needed it, and being encouraged by his heart for God.

Until a point in time, I thought i got too close as a sister to him, and I started to think if I really developed a liking for him. Also at that time, Siew Qin asked me about this area. I remembered it was around September 2005 that I was more certain of my liking for Poy, his heart and his fervor for God’s kingdom.

Then came a year long of waiting and praying. It was a very long and hard-going period for me.

Each time I see him around in CG, with the heart feelings ard sometimes stronger sometimes weaker, I had to restrain myself not to show it out. I had to put myself in the roles which God placed me in, as a leader in his ministry, and yet not to involved my feelings. Indeed through this long period, I get to discover many new things about myself. How I can get jealous, what are the things I am sensitive about, what are the areas I need to grow in, how I deal with disappointments, how I face him despite the feelings etc…
As I prayed, I also get to see his strengths and weaknesses more, from a point view of a sister. I continue to pray about the characteristics I am looking for in a husband, like faithfulness, mission-mindedness.

It was also through his sharing from what he received from 2006 Thai Church Camp about being mission-minded. It came as a surprise to me. I saw his faithfulness growing as he takes care of the sheep and even CG ministry.

Then there was one day (5th May) as I was jogging, and praying about this area. God spoke in a gentle voice: What is it u want? Do u really desire?”

Knowing myself, a person who is always hesitant and it will take me a lot of trust and courage to tell God and asking God for what I really want, especially in this area.
Then I told God: “Yes, if this is it, it has to be him. I pray for it…”

That same day, Poy called and we began to talk and found out that it was mutual liking.
It came very sweet, yet it also dawned upon me that it did not go through the proper channel. As we want to be obedient to it, we told our individual shepherd. And something I learnt here was about the heart of obedience and not religiously following the “book of law”, which can easily hidden as bondage.

We talked over and we continue to pray and seek God’s timing about revealing it, praying through about what we really want to do in this relationship etc.

I was personally praying for God to show me His timing during church camp 2006.

During the 3rd day of camp at the extended worship time, there was a song that we sang “Here I am to worship”. At that moment, I felt God prompting me to humble myself before Him and kneeling down. Yet in my human mind, I was thinking, “but there is no one kneeling down, even the praise and worship team are not doing so, there is not enough space around me to kneel, I would need to make space for myself etc…” I struggled a lot. I resisted God, I did not do so. After that I felt sad that I did not obey Him. I took some time personally and ask for His forgiveness.

God is indeed gracious; He gave me a second chance. He used another opportunity and spoke to me again through Claudia. Before this, I was always praying for God to use someone distant away to speak into my life. She came over at one of the meal times and asked: Are you praying for something?” As we talked, I realized I had used the “book of law” / what people would say etc...” as a barrier in moving forward in this relationship, for the fear of what people might say, and a lot of pride was actually hidden deep down inside me.

Another moment God spoke was until the last Sunday morning at church camp, the same song came again. God ask me to bow before Him, I did. Then in that quiet moment, I saw the vision of impression of King (means God) handing swords to us, as armor bearers, with Poy beside me.( this vision was familiar to me, which i rem God revealed to me some months ago partially). I heard His gentle voice: “Don’t forget about mission”. Pastor Jeff called us to pray for family, his family faces all came to my mind as well, then I realized that I have already embrace them into my life too, that this relationship will become a light for these two families, just like what Pastor Jeff shared about himself and Claudia.

In all, God is patient. Sometimes I have doubts about myself, about things, about people, about leaders, about him etc….all these have caused me to have a deeper conviction that “I am determined not to exchange anything else for His love” and only with God, then can our relationship work for His kingdom. Because without God’s guiding hands, I would not imagine myself liking a person such as Poy, a person so different from me. One of the biggest lesson I learnt through this process is obedience to Him, waiting and praying, He will definitely bless! I pray that this relationship will only make us love God deeper, to become as one serving Him to bring about much effectiveness and fruitfulness than we are before, receiving the fullness of Him in our lives as well as bring the joy and hope to many lives that we can touch as one.

God's wonderful gift to me! Part One (Poy)

2006-08-06T02:00:00.000-07:00

Fulfilling the vision- Poy's Testimony

Key Events leading to 06.05.2006

December, 2004
God show me a vision, a vision beyond my understanding and imagination. In this vision, I remembered vividly that I was piggy-backing her. And she was in a wedding gown. Leaning forward, she said three words” I love you”. It is the strangest dream I have to date. I asked myself how is this possible, we are different in so many ways. As I cannot make anything of this vision, decided not to make too much of it.

6th February 2005
That Thing Called Love – Love of a Lifetime (Part 02 of 3 part series about Love) That Sunday, Pastor Dinah mentioned something that really spoke to my heart about my future spouse. It is the heart attitude that matters the most, not how she looks like on the exterior. God gave 3 words. Quiet gentle spirit. 1 Peter 3:3-4” Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.” I can only think of one person, can it be her? I began to take notice of her.

25th September 2005
In my journal I wrote” Dear God, I have been thinking about her for the past few weeks, Why? I cant say… I like her? Maybe… Even if I like her, I need to know its in Your plan for us to be together as I do not wish to disobey You. I hope You can tell me if she is for me & tell her if I am for her. If it is in His plan, everything will workout, so do not worry.

21st April 2006
On the plane to Bangkok for Thai Church Camp, I asked God to reveal to me His intention about my relationship with her. And God was quick to speak on this issue. While taking the flight from Bangkok to Khon Kaen, Siew Yee told me about her story with Teck Keong. It really encourages me to know that while serving together, they receive confirmation about each other. God gives His assurance that as I continue to serve and focus on Him, it will come.

5th May 2006
We went for teh tarik with Wilson, Rachel & cc. Came home around 2 plus & sms her that she looks very refreshed after a day of rest on Friday. I called her to correct her on her cantonese sms. I did not intend to talk long but we started to chat more. As usual, we chat about the events that happen to cg in the past week, the events that are coming etc. The change of topic came when I started to teach her Cantonese. Then the tots of telling her about the vision came suddenly. I felt the comfort of saying it in Cantonese as it is somehow a good protective medium to bring this message across.

After sharing the dream, I just continued to tell her how I feel and what I think of her and how I have been dealing with this affection. Amazingly, she too shared her side of the story willingly to me. Everything seems to fall into place, all the events that transpired between the both of us during the past 1 and half years seems to affirm us that what we have been praying for is exactly in God’s plan. It is an awesome feeling!!! PTL!!!

We decided we have to account to our shepherd as soon as possible and seek their advice. It is quite a difficult task to do as we have ‘broken’ the protocol. Strange as it may seem, I have this residing peace assuring me that it is alright. Yes I have planned to do it at the end of the year but perhaps His intention was now, rather than later. So I pray to God for some answers…

6th May 2006 (16:53:51) – sms
Prayer to her: Father I pray You can bring peace to us with the assurance that You wanted us to go thru this phase to experience more of You. Help us to build strong & biblical relationship during this stage so that we, as one, can be better vessel for Your will. In His loving name of Christ I pray for cc and myself. Amen.

7th May 2006
During the pre-service prayer He spoke again. Hebrews 13:17-18” Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way. I believe He wanted to show me the attitude I need for my shepherd & those who guide us.

8TH – 11TH June 2006
After meeting up with CC, SQ & GR twice, I asked God to speak to me during the Camp so as to give us confirmation on this relationship. It was on the third day during the extended worship time the song ‘Here I am to worship’ came about that God spoke again. I can only hear Him say,” Poy, I will speak to her now.” I excitedly went over to her during the break and ask her about it. I was so sure that He spoke but to my disappointment CC said nothing had happened. “How can it be wrong???” I asked myself. (please refer to cc’s testimony)

towards AHM

2006-08-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Prayers -run
out of thinking box
insist on own view except...
then what was needed came
clear for prayers.
ONLY for that purpose.

resting and busy time
what now
6km...no, its 10km
what?!
ok, it is only a challenge.

fri 830am, out for a long run
after a long rest
usual to punngol park,
first 3 rounds.
well, not too bad.
dragged the 4th round.
then walk for 5th round.
aimed only 6running rds at first.
but because of that walking round,
set to go for another 3 running rounds...
one by one.
mental and physical tiredness.
its from a young gal who had not been running
for some time now.

saw a "older uncle" in front.
come on, catch up with the pace of him.
tt's a motivation.
where did he go?
Contd on with the final 3rd round.
Finally.
its only the first time
a whole 7km running plus 1km walking.
at Punngol Park
a place i had fond memories.
many more will come.
indeed.

Thank You, Father.
my Jesus,
Holy Spirit who had been with me.
always.

love, child

Resilience...Still...about Him.

2006-07-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

Genesis
why in the list of names, " ... lived...." and "...walked with God..."
eg: (NIV) Gen5:23 "altogether, Enoch lived 365 years,....", Gen 5:22 "Enoch walked with God 300 years..."

the phrase "walked with God" replaces the word "lived" in other paragraphs. this reminds that there is a difference between walking with God and merely living.
with reference to "NIV study bible" - Zondervan

Personal reflections-
Lived 26+years....( including my months in my mother's womb)
Psa 139:13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb, i praise YOu because i am fearfully and wonderfully made."

from young till this season of my life, He watched over me. how great is His faithfulness.
Psa 121:1-8 "...The Lord will watch over your coming and going, both now and forever..."

Father, at this season of my life, i give thanks. i chose to praise You. i chose to live on with what You gave and promised to give. in peaks, YOu are there. in valleys, You promised comfort. what a privilege to be with You.
many times, i asked, "Lord, is this what You want? why cant i see the way You see? why do these things happening"....
STILL...only when stillness of the heart then can i hear You.
but they have not heard You. how?
Pray. Pray for their hearts. Pray for them.
You mean this is the only thing i can do?
Yes, my dear. When you start thinking you can do more to achieve something on your own efforts, you have forgotten, "I AM".
why cant they see You, have they forgotten all they knew abt You?
my child, be patient. Just as I AM patient with you, be patient with them.
dont give up, till you see what I want to bring you to experience.
is it something that i have not been faithful?
my daughter, just be faithful with what it is now. Let go, ask and I will forgive. remember, I AM in control, I will watch over, never a second was I in slumber.
okok, YOU win, and You will always do. Because You are the ONly One. For who can ever be above You. For Your thoughts are always higher than my tiny thoughts, Your ways are always higher than my ways.

Father, i commit to You myself again to You. Let not what is the circumstances be a wall i imagined it to be that i forgot to look up to You. even the things around tell me "nope, its not going to be any better"...i hold on to You. " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according yo His purpose. Rom 8:28" Even my own heart feels the hurt, i hold on to You."Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal 6:9" God, be with me.in Jesus Name, amen.

how true of what Vivian shared on SubD Familia time, that even as we planned to finish reading the bible once through in one year, God looks at what we have learnt during those moments. no point in sounding or looking spiritual, but to live a spiritual life, only pleasing to the eyes of One Audience, Jesus!
Lord, guide me to do just as it is. because i want to be able to recognise Jesus when i meet You, and be received by You too. that even carryign the cross is sometimes, heavy burden with storms and rains...i know Jesus, the joy of salvation You gave is my strength. i want to be able to tell You that: i have done my best to what i can. i want to b able to see all my family and friends there in the perfect place, forever with You.

Lord, thank You for that day. i saw another part of him. never i saw before, yet in my heart, i rejoice. wonder why? but it goes to show we are open enough to really show one another what's truely in us. he thought his words were in anger, yet i did not recd that way, just sad. first tears. yet i wonder how quickly we talked over it. Lord, it is You. only You. because You stood in with us, our love for You has gone deeper. what was seemingly "bad" turn out to be an experience of deeper love for You. amazing! Jesus, be with us and guide us through. this is another season of life that i go into with faith, certain of what i do not see and sure of what i hope for.

Lord, why did i "suddenly" rem my dad again? especially this two days.
perhaps because 30th was his conversion date.
i think its perfectly ok to miss someone. some feelings come, sadness, memories, and happy moments. just that i need to guard my feelings and thoughts that they wont affect me too much in what i am living now. no point in living in the past.
i took a moment yestnight, i stood at the window at the kitchen where i would always rem my dad there. i had a "little conversation" with Lord and hopefully my dad is there to hear. To "update" my dad abt what's happening to my life and family, only perhaps he would be glad to hear too, that we are well taken care of. hopefully my dad isnt going "somewhere else for his heavenly play, that he forgot abt us...sometimes, i thought, he is in a better place than us. anyway, soon we will be with him...whaaa.

NIE.
a place of toil and a place of hope.
toil: so many assignments and Exams....now i understand again the stress level fo exams...
so packed the timetable...even to late evening like 730pm...
hope: so many new friends i get to know. i hope to bring them joy of the Lord, in this toiling place. i hope to shine as salt and light to this place.
ONly Lord, by Your grace, always help me to keep my focus right. nto to be so stress by work that i for got to be Your messager of Hope. amen!
i pray for Shiy, Liuy, Sdyn, KangB, LingZ, and her friend, Grac, TianJ, and Apri who gone back to contract teaching... are there more? show me and let me see. :)
Thank You Lord.

Kawan Go Melaka

2006-06-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

Lord thank You for this wonderful and memorable camp!
thankful i have these kawans with me during this camp that makes it special.
the new friends i made, and the old friends i caught up with....
the new things i learn, the old things You spoke again.
the new discoveries about Hope, the old characteristics we hold on to.
the new preachers on pulpit, the old funny preachers still.
the new place we go, the old Hope spirit that remains.
one important thing, YOu whispered into my heart.
thank You for this long awaiting prayer that i have always desire to hear from You.
finally...

very touched by many willing and serving hearts in the CG during this camp.
1) lawrence, depsite his always "shyness" image in front of us, he got a breakthrough! acting as a nerdy man on stage with over 600pple, and really, m very impressed by this act. not because he acted like professional, but he got such a good spirit in him, a heart of willingness, a heart of courage, stg i got to learn from him. wow, PTL!
2) yes, not forgetting our "smart alac", supermodel of our Kawan showcase! haha, jason must have got out of himself too, to act as this supermodel...his first camp, his first performance, must be memorable for him.
3) dennis, serving very hard as ushering head for this camp. very touched to see him taking initative to want to join us as much as possible, depsite his tight duty roles. this is also out of himself, appreciating his supportive spirit always.
4) kim must also be actively wanting to make a difference in rach's life. remembering her saying wanting to serve rach during this camp, and i saw how she took actions to follow up her intentions. this is also out of herself, for it must be difficult to serve one another, especially when personalities are different, when the foundation of kawan-ship not strong, yet, this is truly the love of God that conquers everything.
5) mingzhu, what can i say, always a sister, there for others. serving others quietly, and sensitive to friends' needs. it is a breeze for you this camp, as you have shared, yet i believe this camp memories will draw you closer to Him.
6) rach, gal. it is God. no others. let Him do His work in You, and indeed i saw your heart willing to do so. it must be one of the most difficult and memorable camp, rem, you walked not alone, with God, and kim, and us.
7) shiming. wow. it is always your real and open sharing that helps the CG gel together in this camp. haha, think i always "rebuke" behind doors during this camp, very thankful you are listening, despite age, experiences etc. this is God's authority.
8) joe. hey, one of the most memorable thing in this camp must be your "sweet kawan"?! :p but very glad to see how you bond together with us in this camp, the late nights soccer matches, the wise words "bu yao xin ruan"....
9) yi cheng. the willing model for our Unit, "fish" eater, the early sleeper, the one who opened the sharing on the first nite, that draws us to a deep conversation, whether " should we share or not the person?..." hee.
10) poy, "zhong ji mi ma", the "not enough spiritual input", the one carrying the "big brother" image, the one who always serves and cares. thank God for you, always, you are God's grace shown.

i rem...
the amazing morning QT we had. without practice, we just came in with a heart ready to praise God, we let go of ourselves, without work's load on us, we are little children in God's eyes, singing and dancing....running in circles...clapping hands, lifting feet, wow!!! this is what i call real praise and worship from the heart!! powerful!

law video taped it rite, must send hor, so that we will always be reminded what we have done before, and we can do better...
i can really sensed God's sweet smile on us that two mornings....PTL!

m amazed with choon yam's real and deep sharing as he preached on stage, his relationship with the brother, how hurts caused and being restored, it must have spoken to many people. at least i pray to the two sisters i know, i prayed for them, i hope their relationship can be restored in You.

and of course, another of God's answered prayer.
the CREATIVE CG workshop! impactful.
i liked and learned a lot from Chris, jorry, siew qin.
they did such great job in bringing alive this workshop.
CG shld be fun and enjoyable and creativity can be learnt.
same for cracking jokes...it will be soon....people enjoyed the sharing...
haha...
"submissive" vs "aggressive" - stretch our perimeters.

indeed, God always leave the vision in my heart every church camp.
i rem on the last sunday, Ps jeff was preaching about vision.
another of my prayer for this camp, deepening of the vision.
song..."here i am to worship"
i bowed, despite the previous nite, disobedience of doing so, due to "what would others think?..."
this time, i know, if i hadnt do so, i would not received His fullness in my life.
i did. without much consideration of others's look etc...
i heard.
a moment with Him.
the vision came through again.
i realised the vision i sw some time ago, that day, i was reminded and the portion of which i was uncertain that time, i am sure now. all because You spoke.
and very touched, when i heard the gentle voice: " dont forget about mission..."
yes, i hope so, by Your grace, even as i take this step of obedience and faith to this decision, i will not forget about mission.
prayers, it came to me to pray for cetain people which i didnt think of. when Ps Jeff urged us to spend some time to pray for family, i was amazed their faces came to mind. only then i also realised, i have already embrace them into my heart. it can only be by God.

Father, who am i before You, i am only a mere human being, even created by Your hands. You are the One who knows what's in the past and in the future that holds for me. i do not even have control over what is to come, how can i ever stand before You. It is only by Your grace. You love me so much to bless me to this extent. even at times, i disobey You, You allow grace to come into my life, to give me that second chance to hear fromYou again. and yet, You ran after me, to make sure i got Your message. yes, indeed, faith and obedience are the conditions of man to fulfill to keep the convenant with You. God, i pray even with this new step, it will all the more make my relationship with You grow stronger in love with You, and deepening my faith in You, and may it always grow from strength to strength and glory to glory. Jesus, in all future circumstances, make my heart yield to You first, a Friend always there for me. Thank you for all these while patiently showing me step by step and in my inmost heart, i love You. In Jesus name, amen.

My kids P2-2

2006-06-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Wei jun, Rong Sheng, Guo Jie, Xin Ya, Wei nee, Kai sheng

Wei jun - look into his eyes, what is he trying to say? he's a "misbehaving" child, most teachers agree to that. Yet the "truth" was revealed when i communicated to his mum. only then i realised he lost his dad last year, i can understand. how much more for a kid at such a young age to comprehend all that's happening. i can only do what i can, talked and encouraged him, the rest is up to him already. God protect his childlike heart!

Rongsheng- a jovial looking boy in class. likes to smile, and i like his smile. until tt day when he suddenly "secretly" ate in class, and i caugaht him redhanded. asked him to hand over, he refused. what was more "surprising" to me, i saw him crying and using a pair of scissors to cut his little fingers! Boy! i was really shocked. God, what are the things beinginput in his little mind? what impact it did to his mental...maybe it were the adults' words, maybe it were the media's influence....

Guo Jie - this one is real CUTE! thought he speaks a little slower thanmost, and i always almost lose patience in him completing his snetences, i am always amazed by his words. most of the time, totaly unrelated to what the class is engaging. :) and something special is that he always like to talk about stuff he learnt in hongkong...

Xinya - the "guai guai" kind of gal in this class. appointed her to be monitress in this class. once i asked her to distribute the books back to the class before the exams, but she forgot. this incident got me to react at first instance: why she forget? yet, later, i realised, she's afterall a 8years old kid, i have put too much "responsibility" more than she can bear...

wei ni -the ever active gal in class, very intelligent too. she looks like a little china doll. a gal who likes to help the weaker / or bullied kids in class. call it "righteousness" in her. one thing so in her is she has so much "difficulty" to stop talking....:)

Kai sheng - this boy, i loved him so much! i met him once at sengkang, sw his very innocent repsonse, running towards a toy shop, yet when i spotted him, he quickly hid behind his mum. he's one of those who has left such deep impression in my heart. one i probably would remember for a long time now. He "dreams" in class, walks around, cannnot sit still, and i rem once he sudden hid his head inside his bag, throwing out everything from his bag. took some time to "coax" him out, only then i found out that it was because his artpiece was damaged. what a unique boy....

My kids - PPS Pri 2-2

2006-05-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

Chen Kang, Yong Chao, Wei Jie, Wei Qiang, Xin Yi, Jing Ning

Chen Kang, boy who always want to write the "stars" for me. a boy whom i shared with him personally once and i hope he took my words into his heart about understanding what is best for him and choosing to do it.
yong chao ya yong chao, this boy gets the nerves on me. his words are always: "bu hao de!" he always has that feel of people ard him are not being fair. he wants to help but often in a wrong manner. a tough nut to crack in this class for me.
Wei Jie, a adorable face, who makes a good friend for rui jie, can sense his little maturity when he wrote a card for rui jie when he was sick.
wei qiang, this boy likes winning, wants to do things when he sees the benefit.
xin yi, a outspoken gal, who likes to answer qtns. she always puts her hands up for any qtn, and she can ans. rem she once wrote about her family and her relationship with her dad and brother, can feel she wants more love from them.
Jing Ning, a very intelligent gal, but seldom active in class, always sits there, sometimes participate when she suddenly likes to. gets distracted easily.

Back ( boys) : Wei Yang, Yen Wen, Ruijie

Front ( gals): Hui yi, Jing Ting, Shu Xin

My words- i went to rui jie at the hospital once while he had a "relapse" due to his liver condition. that visit was out of a friendship, not a teacher-pupil, i thoght so. i rem his heart-warming hug then. to this i m still very touched. felt a bit like a "little mother" to him then. i wish him enough, to enjoy the beautiful world God You have created for him.

wei yang is a very hardworking kid, reponses well and teachable.

yen wen is often very "helpful" at cleaning the white board, a potential leader with few ocassions of mischievious acts.

Hui Yi, a gal, always careful with her work. always seek confirmation that she is doing the right thing before she acts. likes to go toilet too.

Jing ting, very intelligent gal, high achiever in mandarin, active in participating even though some are very "not challenging her mind" qtns. has a quiet spirit in her.

shu xin, a gal who is helpful with rui jie. often find her behind friends, seldom stands upfront. diligent gal too.

God's GRACE

2006-05-25T02:07:00.000-07:00

The time when you are ready is the time when you are willing.

Eph4:15-16

Jason- 5th March.
Wilson-16th April
Joe-14th May

Jog - 6th may

7th june

Mum's birthday!

2006-05-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

Center: Mum
Left to Right: my younger sis ( caihong), my er jie (caiyun) and me ( caizhu)
Missing in picture: da jie (xueyun) and lao di ( jingcai)

Two guys in pic: with spectacles - Guohao ( my xiao mei's bf)

without spectacles - Cyril ( my er jie's long long time bf)

good to hear him telling us his good news, just like a family...where we are secure in sharing things out, knowing that its a safe place to share and being understood and accepted.

somehow over these years, things have changed in this family. at least, as i "observed and reflected". i thank God for His love that has "silently" immersed into this family, with much grace and mercy. no one could ever imagine what it was like many many years ago. at least to now what i see, i thank God those days are over now. God, how can i ever be thankful, it came a long way with much prayers and trust in You to see what it is now and what it will be even in the future.

that time, it was difficult to believe. yet, for Your Love has pulled it through. Your promise is revealing now...

ever thankful. there wont be anything i would exchange for Your love. it will be done only with Your Love and strength poured into me.

"Shiong Dai hai oon. Ye So oon wo, sor yi wo oon ne"

Mum's 57th Birthday!

( 3rd May 1949)

first time without him...

yet it was "ok"....

coz many "replaced" his presence.

seemingly so.

of course, i felt it was not the same.

it will take a while more...

Xiao Di Special Day!

2006-04-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

Praise to unto the Lord, Jesus Christ!
today, its a joyful day!
xiao di took that step of faith to recieve Christ into his life!
:) ;) :) ;)

many things to be said.

but before sharing all those,
tis post is for you Xiao di.
To XD. Da Ge. Fr XM
"Be strong and courageus, Do not be terrified, do not be afraid. For the Lord your God is with you wherever u go." Joshua 1:9
Praying together with you.
Thank you for the trust in sharing.
He has given you faith to believe, even tho u havnt see, indeed you will be blessed!
"putted" your trust in Jesus, and He will show you how.

Father, its a beautiful day.
many many things.
Thank You!

little blessing on this special day:
1) finally managed to find a book for a friend which i have been seraching for 1mth! cant imagine, cant find in lifebookshop twice, Hope Resource and tecman etc...only "meant" to find today that it makes the day beautiful.
2) saw my kid, kaisheng at Sengkang interchange while on my way back. finally in my heart, i embraced my kids to"my life", coz if it had been previous times, i would not have purposely go up to them to say hi. which i did purposely dont do that when i saw my kid once last time. its make the day beautiful.
3) recd a card, which in that sense i asked for it, from a good friend whose changed life gave me such great encouragement. that yes, to labor is hard, but its fruits are even more blessed to have!
4) got to know how amazing God also touched a first time visitor, TT ( thai) and melted her heart with Your Love, that she recd Christ ! amazing.

tears.
its been Yi4 Nian2 Duo1 Le4!

Why/Joyce/Alan

2006-04-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

Joyce and Alan's BD.
Kim got a surprise party for Joyce,
cooked mi fen, curry chicken, popiah etc...yum yum.
can see joyce is very touched.
a interesting gal.
hope to get to know her more.
was late, became another "surprise" for her...haha. :P
good time with Kim, sandy, Shawn, Joyce at Kim's place.

then got a sms from BK, she also preparing surprise BD party for alan...
hee.
went to his blk late, missed a bus stop, walked a deserted road.
it was a "terrible feeling" walking alone along that road.
saw them standing at the balcony, so near yet so far.
the vulnerability, or so i thought i was "strong".
went teh at usu Jalan Kayu, with GR, Alan, Poy, Ernie.
it was interesting to know Ernie.
a friend, whom somehow reminded me of someone i used to know, but now i cant rem exactly who. :P

why am i so blur!? hai. not once, but so many times. not affecting just myself, sometimes, unto others. :( it hurts, because it affects others.

got this song fr Vivian.
it was a song, sounded i heard it before...
anyway, it was a nice song.

Artist: Nicole Nordeman
Song: Why

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddyHe said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cries
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?
My precious sonI hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hourI must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die
-end-

Jesus, when You wore that crown of thorns, i wonder, how can You bear that, not to even mention the nails pierced into Your hands.
i rem SM mentioned before in CG, stg he shared in a small group: "sometimes, why not i be wronged?..."
it was enriching thought, that even Jesus, He was "wronged" as "blaspheming" to be called the "son of God" when He truly is the Messiah.

Jesus, how did You ever bear that?
i wonder...
and it make my heart tear for You.
precious lover of my soul
over years, i may have taken for granted
for all that You have done for me.
many times, i have disappointed You
and i always say: i will not do it again.
but yet...my heart and my strength
they always fail
By Your grace.
You gave me second chance.
last sunday, even before Ps Ben shared the word,
i heard You saying,
My gal, like I told the criminal on that day I was hanged there up on the cross, I say the same to you, : "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise" ( refer Luke 23:42-43)
(during the praise and worship time)
Jesus, i knew why You had to die.
You gave me this second chance.
to take my sins upon Your shoulders,
and to bring me to Father's lap once again,
like a little child,
yearning for that love.

Jesus.

somehow while i was saving the song "Why" into my song folder,
i saw another song.
this touched me too.
Collin Raye - Love me.
"If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be...."
these words has some special meaning to me.

Jesus.
I need You to be with me.
That i will walk Your way.
in every step i take.
in every word i say.

Jesus,
remember me.
(Luke 23:42)

Chair

2006-04-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

Tues Evening
Reached Nexus late again...( its going to be another 2mths)
adv to be in morning session.
Sch ends early.

in that small little Asia room.
came in with much expectation yet with a very tired body.
singing with songs "Exalted" and "Jesus we enthrone You"

Exalted
You will ever be exalted
You are worthy of all honor and praise....

its good to be dwelling in His presence, regain strength from Him.

Vision
a book, with the pen put inside the pages.
yet the ribbon ( which signifies the actual life that has past) was a lot more pages after the point the pen was.

slow down and start giving thanks for all He has done.

Be joyful always, pray continually, and giving thanks in all circumstances in our Lord Jesus Christ.

went back to Nexus.
saw the chairs.
how to, i asked?
no faces, nothing.
but anyway, i shall do it.

allocated everyone to sections of Nexus.
i stood near the centre seats, i looked up at my team members,
it was amazing.
i didnt see a empty seat
it was ''well-covered"

so we started.
i dont know how, but the Holy Spirit shall guard us.
one by one.
Row D to F.
wonder who will sit there?
where will he sit?

it increased our faith.
our burden for people
it was such good time
with our Lord

Lord, pour out Your blessings this easter.
that many will come to know You.
amen.

Bridges

2006-04-01T13:12:00.000-08:00

taught a lesson to my kids about bridges, how workers use different materials to bridges...
Shi Qiao, Tie Qiao, Mu Qiao etc...

today's run was good.
skipped for a week.
resume back, thinking if i can spare off a weekday for a nite run instead, when i start my hope sem course, which is soon...e. :P

walked to rachel's house this mrng before i start my usual route, so that also means a new route today.
yea, was refreshing tho, to be on the other side of the road, of the familiar route.
looking at surroundings which is different from the many times.

as i pick up slowly, knowing what a week difference might bring to me, not a regular runner.
somehow, i was doing quite well, the steps were as well-paced as before, it was not much of a difficult,then it dawned upon me, it has become a habit, rather i was doing it for some weeks now, so it would not be too much a stance.
to other things: as long as i discipline myself in what i want to do, even if at times, i had to "stop" for a while for certain reasons, it will not be difficult coz it is "part of" me already.
the "pyschological" mind or rather the mind should stop telling myself "i cant".
because i can when i believe. victory does not go to the stronger hand but the one with a stronger mind.
i can because He can.

today's run was special.
not just i took a different starting point, a different route, but also the first time i went without a watch.
no time limits. i didnt have to time myself as i used to.
i told myself i run to the time He gives.
i paced accordingly to His.
i prayed along the way.

amazingly, i reached Punngol park without much panting....to me, i m surprised.
on return trip, i prayed for people along the way, this somehow, got me a bit worried.
felt my legs "suddenly" lose strength as if each step i took is taking more strength from my legs than needed.
contd on, i mean i told myself: i have to reach home somehow mah. ( the place was along serangoon rd, so a bit deserted too)
but i was still praying, i realised something as i go along.
as i start each name i prayed, to certain ones, my steps "suddenly" gets heavier, as if my steps were in pace with the person's life.
i told myself: if it means to run together with this person at this difficult time ( at the moment when my legs gets heavier) i will persevere, somehow i managed to run a bit more constant rather than draggy.
then amazing, as i finish praying for the person, i realised i already got back my normal pace.
it was sense of victory!
then again as i start another , the same...
yet, for some, i felt the urge to run faster than my normal pace...
it was a cool experience to me....
praying is so interesting. even as i run, the praying "pace" coordinates with my running pace.
hee. :)

nearing home, prob another 1km, nearing XD's place, i wanted to stop at the traffic light ahead which is a usual route for me, but then i decided to take another route, to contd to run, then ahead there's a overhead bridge which i can still get across to get back home. so that i wont need to stop.
with already aching legs, i climb up the many many steps from the bridge.....
down i go...contd on, without having to stop.
it came to me, in life, sometimes, i dont have to stop ( at the traffic light) at what i perceived the route to reach destination( home). i can contd on without stopping, ahead there's will be another route to lead me back to destination, even tho sometimes the bridge may cause me to backtrack a bit, but tt's ok, it matters that i do not stop.
the bridge serves its purpose, to bring people from one place to another.
what's my bridge to that destination?

Father, may our eyes of our hearts be enlightened to see Your revelation of Your purpose in our lives, let not our own minds, and knowldge to say that we think the best , let not our hearts be obsitnate towards what You would tell us. many times, our hearts convinced ourselves into what is the best for us, but yet we have block out what You would really want us to do. Father pray for Your grace and mercy to bring us back to Your heart, refreshed us with a tender heart and new spirit to obey not according to our convinced minds, but according to Your thoughts and ways. Give us the courage to admit we are proud on our own, to surredner to You in exchange for Your peace of Christ that will rule in our hearts. dear Father, be with us in every step, pace us in Your race, let our eyes not be tempted with the current goals, but with spritual eyes to see the vision and finishing line. the day You bring us back, the day Jesus' glory be worshipped on high, the day we are received back to enjoy Your presence forever. Thank You, for You are indeed faithful to us! in Jesus name, Amen.

Intercessory Retreat 25th Mar 06

2006-03-29T10:37:00.000-08:00

this is one of the many that i like. it shows simply a simple, shared moments with my sisters. we went with a objective, to be refreshed and know one another. sylvia planned a short sharing abt beach. ( interesting one too! nvrm thot that things at the beach can be so "relating" to our christian walk) it was ard11am when we arrived at Tanjong beach! it was so NICE! terrfic, fabulous, serene, wonderful...etc can i say more? indeed a beach for some quiet moments. not diff to spot a good shady place and we just sat down for some personal sharing, reading, laughing, singing praise and worship...facing the beach, with not much people, and the wide sea on the other side. we just sat there all the way until abt 3+pm...which we took a wrong bus route and ended up taking more than we needed to get back the cable car terminal. haha. but it was another good ride, coz we took a leisurely ride, got to see the other parts of sentosa. it has been many years since i last went, and now it has changed so much. i saw the chairlift ride, and luge ( a similar go-kart thingy) which i would like to try the next time i go! yea!
and a jazz group, sitting on the grass patches, with low lying table, candlelights etc...so "romantic", haha, but we got to go, and the jazz performance only starts at night.

a memorable retreat. simple yet refreshing.

Intercessory Retreat 25th Mar 06

2006-03-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

in all my years as a sporean, its a FIRST time i rode onto a cable car! not difficult to persuade the rest to hop onto it. one way trip its, $9.90, so we decided to take two way, $10.90, haha. jokingly, we told oursleves only if it really din turn out well, then we shall forfeit the return trip lor...well, we are courageous la! i enjoyed the views from up high. it is just so refreshing to see things i dont always see that angle often. i thought, that should also speaks to how i see things in my life.

思念是一种很炫的东西

2006-03-17T00:25:00.000-08:00

想起了他。。。
比起几个月前的那种思念，今天是另一种感觉。
心境还蛮平静的。

只想起了他对我的期望。
他苦了大半辈子，希望我们能“成材”。

当老师的“期望”也即将实现了。

听了好多同事的见解，相信接下来在NIE的日子将负有挑战性。

心里只求自己能达到主的要求。

"whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord, not for men"

期盼，向往，等待，紧张，一些些的思索。。。。

Birthday Part Two

2006-03-06T00:51:00.000-08:00

this post for my good friend for er...think about 6years now....wow...eh, did not know i know Jason for so long liao, how time flies.
since my NTU first year, he is my assignment partner for a law course, i rem that time he already appeared to me a very hardworking student and i always "sandwiched" btw him and another friend, Mingqin. both of them are very intelligent and always "argue" lo, ( law mah) i dun quite understand n catch up with them...
anyway its a long long time now....

i know he came close to God once during our third year course, but something had to happen....
But God is still in control.

then busy with our separate lives, then slowly daily the watering starts all over again.

only till recent ard two years that the watering begin more focus.
at the soil where the seed is planted rather than around everywhere! :)

God how can i ever fathom Your will and the magnificaent wisdom You showed.
i always tend to look at circumstances to state "conclusions"
yet many times, i always "hands up" to You, slowly but surely it will come.

salvation is not about man's perceived mind, it is about God's already present grace shown through Jesus and man's faith in God. the truth will be the truth.

it is so precious.
still.
i received salvation many years ago.
yet when i "stand" beside a friend whom i saw the change of heart towards God over these years, him saying yes to God and praying together with him to recieve Jesus into his heart.
it is still so deep and precious!
as if i also recd another big big gift that i cant hold it up.
God i want more of this!
this kind of joy!

only when he took the step of faith, then all things in God can be revealed personally to his spirit.
it is only the action of opening the lock,then we can see the many good things in the treasure box.
like a password to a program/computer game, the keyword is "JESUS CHRIST!"

jason, i pray that as u take this step of faith , be strong and courageous in your walk with God, all of us are together with you in this journey, we will be in this special family united in the same "blood" of Jesus Christ.
your salvation is a memorable one for me.
before this, many things has happen.
Isa 40 a voice called: 'cry out'. i said: what else can i cry out?"
disappointed, discouraged, negative....etc...
sorry God, for this.
i asked still for faith n i still hope that i can still hear You.

today, by your grace, i heard.
and it came so overwhleming into my soul.
yes i was broken, yet because of brokenness, i find Your strength, i find Hope.
i prayed for two areas today, as pastor jeff ask for respond.
Lord, it is so long already, i needed that breakthrough!

many blessings pour out today.
1) Jason's salvation!! ( so easy to rem, one day after my birthday!)
2) puay/ alan,bee keow, chloe, john who came for the celebration. ( hee, i took a pic with chloe!!)
she shall be my first baby prayers. i imagine the day when she would pray for me?! haha...but she cry lo, when i tried carrying her... thought: maybe i should join HopeKids ministry.
3) the gifts and cards....like the Oreo Chocolate cake at TCC at circular road. good place, except i should have wear jeans, cant sit on the floor comfortably...hee.
Yi Cheng/ Minzhu/ Cuifen: Thank YOU!!!!!
4) Kim's handmade t-shirt. Kim: i know what u mean by the words on the shirt. hee.
5) sandy's honest and encouraging words in her card. sandy: why u gave me a "ju tao' ya?
6) rach/YC/dennis/MZ's pink blouse. actually very like me...
7) Jason/poy/wilson/su ching/shiming's dragonfly necklace. very nice.
( hope i got your names rite?) anyone i forgot, pardon my "old mind" lo...one year rusty liao le.
8) my 2nd's sis gift for me, a simple bookmark, christian teacher words on it...unexpected le.
9) E-card from david lee, eugene phang and zhaotan ( my london friend).
these emails are special, coz i have total no 'expectation" they will rem.
david's email remind me of his "last words' to me when i serve under his leadership, thought he would say something spiritual before he leaves for chile but he only said: smile more, because my smiles can cheer hearts" hm, this reminds me to smile more now...from within my heart, for my friends, family, and of course, most challenging my kids at sch lo.
Eugene's email remind me of a teaching he gave during my serving under his leadership too.
talking about being resilience during tough times, and so amazing i rem that teaching also talked about Joshua and caleb's encounter in spying the land, and this word was also given during today's sermon/ prayer.
zhaotan, a very good friend of mine, he reminds me that God is always working everywhere. i rem i was praying for him and there was one time while he's at london , he told me he started to think about God etc...i will be so happy to see the day i see him receiving Christ too!
10) my mum just told me my aunt invited her to her church's outing to KL. though not confirm, but i thankful God works in amazing way, opening doors for my mum to get to see God through church.
11) i recd a mailed card from pasotr Jeff and claudia. wow, din expect, but so happy to recd it! and handwritten somemore, what exemplary leaders, its a privilege to serve under them!

fri one would be a special one....:)
a simple dinner i hope it will come true.
thankful for chukai for organising.
so much inititive in it, must learn this from him.

Wonderful, Magnificent God.
i could sing of Your love forever.
Here i am to worship.
You bring me through the seasons.

Lord, its time to hear Your trumpet sound again!
wait! got to hear His direction. before "chiong" need to prepare the army, and strategise.
show us Your destination.
many are the plans in a man's heart,
but let Yours lead us.
Give us Your headphones.
to hear You and to hear the world.

"soular powered by Son"

i hope i have written what i want to write.
Thank God.
You are still my deepest love. :P
cc

心语

2006-03-04T16:56:00.000-08:00

三月三日
正从碧山回返盛港，坐在88 巴士，脑子里涌现许多思索。。。

到站了，走在那熟悉的道路，蓝色的灯光令我不由自主得往上一瞧，
看看手表，刚好是十二点正，无人在旁，虽然一点的感伤，但也有另一种安慰，
蓝色的十字架就好像在跟我窃窃私语地说：只有我能给你无限的爱，要坚信不要动摇，当你认为身处一人的时候，也就是你能感到我对你的深爱。
一些些的感动，和感激。。。
这就是我和他的心语。

三月四日
回到家门，一封信摆放在桌上。充满期待地打开信，读了读那封信，眼泪不禁流了。真是的。生日的前几分钟竟然哭了。心里一份辛酸，也同时有那么一点一点的感动。那是一封突如其来，却令我好感动的信。来信人是那么的信任我，把他的“心语”都写了下来。其实这是他第二封信了，我告诉自己，这一次我可要回应。这一封信不只是简单的一封信，它包含了上帝的爱，上帝的恩赐，上帝的包容等等，也许它也是上帝特别指迎我的方式。我还在期待着。
谢谢你。
这又是另一个心语。

之后，接到小弟的sms, 他就在我家楼下。虽然之前永耀他们要来我家，而我也推辞了，我是不想大家特地来我家为我庆祝我的生日，但小弟的诚意令我感动。哈，也让我暂时把辛酸的情绪放在一边。一首好简单的生日歌，不是那么灵活的双手弹着，还是蛮感动的。谢谢你，永远的乖乖小弟！

生日就是如此的简单，却又能那么难忘！
不许大费奏章，不许每一个人的到来，只要来的能带着简单的祝福，就好了。

大姐约在盛港一起吃饭，彩云，彩荭，敬财都出门了，虽然只有大姐和妈，也是另一种的幸福。我们在Jack’s Place, 聊着一些平常家话，但我感谢主，这是稀有的情景。
一顿简单的午餐，另一种心语。

心愿：
1) 能看到我一些好友在今年接受主。
2) 家庭的凝聚力，大家能感受主的爱，能更进一步了解神。
3) 在今年能去南美洲一游，接触当地的姐妹兄弟。
还有，但有意些是我和神的心语。哈哈。
有时，期待更多，失望的更多。这也是我这生日的心语。

收到国良的礼物，感动在心里。
一些其他的简讯，也是令我感恩。
希望二十六岁的我，能更活得充实，更信靠于神，为了他，为了我自己，突破现状。

Heart Language

2006-02-27T09:30:00.000-08:00

learnt some "heart language"!

had a good time learning some "heart" language yest nite.
not easy, but was challenging, and very heartwarming too.
i enjoyed it. ( though at times dun understand what was said to me)

"Heart" language gets to the heart.

what is your heart language?
i hope someday i can be used by Him so that Ye So can get into many hearts.
Some foreign hearts too.
and i hope as i get to capture your heart language, i would speak at the right part of your "hearts", not "poking" at the wrong ones so much that you will be hurt.
Ye So use me to speak His words to your hearts.

i want to rem these words for my good friend:
1) sen yat fa lok
2) Ye So oon lei
3) lei hai Shion Dai zui oon.

whahaa.

Thank You for blessing me to be able to write this blog, about "heart" language.

i took a step, i hope it pleases You.
it was not easy even when perhaps i was not being understood.
yet, i felt that peace within me.
i could only do what i can.
beyond me, i need Your strength.
let me know You "all over again"
to really know so that i may trust You
at the end of the day, i may not get what i wanted.
its ok, but You be with me.
and i know even at that time,
i would receive so much more joy
because it is ultimately Your best plan for me!
out of gratitude already for blessing me with what i can enjoy now.
i want to know Your "Heart" language too!
amen!

Dont Know What to Say.

2006-02-26T01:30:00.000-08:00

1) hvnt been blogging for some time now...( though i still keep spontanteous journaling on my own book)...dont know what to say. Coz too many things to say. i think that there are many things to say, yet sometimes, it better to keep to self( to certain extent). one is not to "rehearse" those "not-so-good" thoughts by repeating it over and over again. and allow that box of "hidden thoughts" to be always put before Him to illuminate His voice and His direction etc....
(haha, as u read this, if u dont understand what i mean, its ok, just my thoughts at this point)

2) RJ been missing school for days. Ms lim told me he vomitted blood at home and was hospitalised at KK. Could not go together with Ms lim/ Sandra on fri after school, so i got the ward number and went alone to day.( Sat, 25th Feb). Ward 56,32. standing outside and peeped in before i went in. only saw a baby inside. hm...then after checking out with the nurses, he was transferred to Ward 55,32. saw him alone, eating his bland porridge...his mum was sleeping on the mattress on the floor on the other side of the bed. saw her tired face. it must have been hard on her. RJ was looking good. with a "needle" attached to his small hand, for his drips. his mum greeted me in english so i started to talk with her in english....then on and off, RJ also talked to me in english. dont know what to say lo, i thought i was his chinese teacher. funny.

his mum told me in details about his health condition, though i would not say i understood every term she told me, but i just to let her have a listening ear....it was not easy for her ba...

RJ is a quiet boy in class, yet he enjoys drawing. not very good in studies.
he was showing me all that he has been doing at the hospital.
he showed me many pieces of stickers. one consultant came and wanted to check on him, RJ refused so the consultant gave a sticker to coax him, and told him that if any other doc want to take blood sample etc...he can ask them for stickers. as trusting as a little kid, he did as told, he asked for stickers everytime another doctor wants to take injection from him...so innocent.

he drew many pictures during his free time. He showed me the pokemon pics he drew with his freehand, and he said it with much pride, i sensed it from his words.
his mum encouraged him to draw a pic for me. so RJ asked sweetly: what do u want me to draw? i will draw very nice.
was touched at his words.
of course i asked if his hand can take it, the strength to draw etc...
what a kid!
he drew as carefully and seriously as i can see from his face, and he even said he want to colour it....he also said he wanted to sign on it. haha...and he actually signed " illegible" words lo.

then i got to go for another appointment...
so his mum said: di2 di, ( as his mum calls RJ) give Jie2 jie a hug.
hm, at this point, i thought to myself, the mum must have forgotten i was his chinese teacher liao, otherwise she would not have addressed me as "jie jie". haha.
and another, i was in fact, taken aback, i dont know what to say. or rather how to react. just welcome the hug as i could, trying very hard not to feel "weird"...i nvr hug my kids before lo.
anyway, it was a very heartwarming hug.
really. though RJ is not my kid, i felt like a mother tt time. his hands stretched to hug my waist, his head leaning on me, i felt so touched!
i wish him Jesus.

God, would u extend this boy's life. even though his in born liver condition may have seemingly gotten worse, and i would not know how many years he has on this earth, God by Your grace and mercy, let him tasted your Love, Your wonders, Your miracles of healing. Protect him until he sees Jesus. thank You Jesus, amen!

i dont know what to say....

3) meet Kim, Ling Ling, Cathy, Dennis for movie.
kim and me went for "i not stupid 2"
the rest went for "pink panther"

i only manage to catch part of the good movie.
i left at the moment i knew i would also cry, where one of the boy's father was beating him up terribly cox he was expelled from school.

intersting qtn at the begining of the movie: ( in words as far as i can rem)
a) when is the last time i praise someone?
b) when is the last time i was being praised?

good point about this movie:
real, the situations are some "heart" words or actions people do now....
and also, it got me thinking about also this qtn:
do i judge fast and forgot to stop and ponder about the person's good points first?
( inspired from a scene when the boy repaired the laptop for the father, and brought it to the office for his dad, yet his dad first sentence was to "accuse" his son for playing with it and damaging it and repaired out of his guilty conscience)
would be good to catch the later part. :)

went to meet ps.
had a good talk with her.
dont know what to say.

God, show me Your way.
this is my heartfelt prayer, too many thoughts already now.

Thank You Jesus.
For Your Light is there.
in darkness.
i know You will hear my cries.
i know You will direct.
let it be fruitful time
to know YOur name
to know who You are
at the end
Your name be glorified.
amen!

Beliefs, Values, Time-School's Contact time

2006-01-28T11:51:00.000-08:00

Though i have heard from many that the weekly contact time is "passing or rather wasting time" for edu officers...
yet some times, its how we see it ...
and from the 1hr plus, there's always something i can learnt.....

Last week's:
P posed a qtn to us: What is the role of teachers to me?
can teachers have a private and public face?

VP ended with his usual composure....and smile, (paraphrased)
how we spend our time reflects the values we hold. and what values we hold reflects the beliefs we have. and we will be passing on the values to the kids because we spent time with them.

perhaps, its about time to really think through,
as teachers ( whether in schools, or in any other capacity, as long as u are teaching another...)
am i teaching the right things?
where does the stand on the right or wrong things comes from?

Interestingly, yesterday's Service, ( 8-10pm, Touch community theatre)
A new Me for a new year ( 1 pet 2:1-8)

there's this segment on hypocrisy...

had iterestingly conversation over dinner time with jason, rach, mingzhu.
qtn: what if we behave accordingly to the appropriateness to the ocassion? it this hypocrisy?

Hypocrisy- not being the real self.

i shared with them that in sch, i disciplined my kids direct to the point, many times, to "show" that i am "angry" so that it can help them to relate the behaviour / thinking etc is wrong.
it has to be done that way, coz they are young ( some are still, though we see many kids are getting smarter/ rather mature faster at their age) and they are at the stage to be taught to know between right and wrong things.
so i would truly say i am a "different" person at school.
Coz i wont be "like that" when i am in church, family, with my friends etc....

however, even when i am at sch, i am still being my true self.
i had no intention to be someone else, or mask myself etc...
even when i "discipline" is also the way i am and would do it "what i am" can do.

its a thin line between hypocrisy and relating...
i thank God i have Him to guide me to the right way.
to be true to myself, yet being assured that even as imperfect as i am, i am a "beautiful" child in His arms....He accepts me as who i am, and He will teach me into all truth.
Because Jesus is in me, He's the way, the truth and the life.

Thoughts of the Moments

2006-01-17T01:10:00.000-08:00

Awarding picture of the year 2005-
"New Generation 5 B 2"
its a heart warming pic.
behind this, i had my personal laughs, tears, encouragements, heartaches, joy, perseverance...which u all may or may not see, i guess.
most important of all, i had God in this family.
(yicheng: tks for complimenting my cuteness in dancing....eh, prefer "beautiful" haha, coz cute=ugly but adorable)
and i want blog this too!
coz its very memorable.

anyway,
when we(CLs) got to know we had to dance,
its was like...er...can we do it?
i am not a dancing person,
tho i danced before in my JC days....mass dances kind.
i know this dance is dedicated for u all.
a little token of appreciation for your hearts in serving together for our Lord in this family.
thank you, His dear CG.
for this wonderful year 2005.

i hope 2006, will be a year of breakthroughs for each of you.
here praying for u,
TCC

2nd thoughts

2006-01-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

having 2nd thoughts is good.

sometimes it just gets me back onto the track where i am supposed to be.
"its a long long journey, till i know where i am supposed to be....
... i know i will falter ....i know You will standing by my side, its a long long journey....
sometimes it feels no one understand, ...."

many things have happen and revealed.
my conversations with a few people have helped me on chewing on my 2nd thoughts.
poy,alan, siew qin, joel, xiaozu

my life, His calling.
a timely sermon which reaffirms on my 2nd thougths.
we gain when we give-sacrifice.
fulfil the calling for Christ.
move on with perseverance.
what You call, i choose to trust in You that You will provide.

*** *** *** ***

Forgetful behavior.... has consequences.
saw this slogan in a poster.
it somehow spoke to me in a recent encounter in getting new year decorations for my school.
its amazing how God answered my prayer.
i ask Him: what should i do? write on the blank piece? or i just treat it as to "give" tt amt to the school?
then i saw the above words in my usu routine route to Nexus on sun.
went back school, told them the truth, din expect them to pay me back.
but to let them know so that they can have a better estd budget for next year....
and it turn out they can still push to claim back the amt.
integrity. was not able to pinpoint tis word until today's teaching from siew qin.
upholding His Truth was not easy, i was "tempted" to do otherwise.
but by His grace, i heard Him.
so did as He said.
and He bless me back that i was able to claim the amt back!
praise the Lord.
we will be bless when we stand on His word.

friend who has impacted me

2006-01-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

1) had posted stg here few days earlier, but being "imperfect" still in machines, all those i type just went blank...maybe it just was not sup to be posted here...:P Hai...but i dint find tt time wasted. for the time i used to type, i wrote out in words that i can see, i am putting thoughts to it and seeing it myself. it works for me personally to truly digest what are my thoughts. anyway, its a little "research" on 3 different bible translations on the verse Luke 9:23 ( and which same verse was repeated 3 times in the each gospel except John.) so can imagine the length i type out...plus my thoughts on it, the verse that made an impact on me, especially when its like a New Year verse to me. a new start etc....shall move on, and not "whine" abt this "loss"...haha.

mayb its good for u, to ponder yourself and discover the verse. :P

2) took a bit time out from my planning for work. its late now. yet i find a lot of joy within me. for i find myself truly enjoying work. not just work but something i enjoy and find meaning to it. yes, the planning is a bit tedious and a lot of preparation to do for the kids, yet i see what i am doing now is not just for now, but into the future that i do not yet see. ( somehow this sentence keeps repeating in my mind, especially these few days....) moulding, getting them interested about creative learning, being innovative, really and truly educate. i thank God i am a chinese teacher, haha, though i m self-aware that my chinese is really not up to standard yet. coz chinese teacher are given the task to teach moral education, which is the channel to build te correct values in kids. its a privilege. as i look into the teaching guidebook, there are many things i desire to teach the kids. and i pray i have the capacity to guide them in the correct values, through ways they can understand and sows seeds into their lives. which is into the future i cant see now.

sometimes, wonder how i can enjoy work? ( a qtn for me last two years...)
perhaps its abt finding where your calling is.
the piece of puzzle that is uniquely to be fitted in.
( i thank God who knows my future and He has been faithful to guide me through)
and i know, deep within, teaching is not all...there' will come a time again, He will show.

funny moments at school this week:
a) i asked a kid what's his surname? he looked up to me, blurred face.
then i asked again.
he said: " rabbit"
haha, i think he thought i am asking him the year he was born. ( the shi2 er4 sheng1 xiao4)

b) got a pri one class. sup to have 7 kids joining the class from another split class. so for the first 2 days i just counted 7, and thought they are all in.
later, then me and another chinese teacher realised one kid in each class of our classes had gone to the wrong class, swopped identity....missing kid in action! haha. blur kids and blur teachers.

c) got a very cute boy, yong zheng. small and wear glasses. asked him to self introduce.
" how many people are there in your family?"
" i got ba4 ba , he2 ma1 ma...( in chinese)....he2 that grandpa...and grandma...( in english) oh no, another kid who's speaks more english at home...etc.

and i got a boy very cute also, called Yi Cheng! haha. easy to remember this boy lo. ;P

3)
went to a wake on friday.
recd the msg from another friend. and the last nite svc is fri.
qtn: " why didnt she tell us?"
rch ard 830pm, after i put down my heavy books at home after the long day at sch.
i sat there right behind at the void deck.
the place was filled with many youngsters/ mid-twenties.
the deceased is a grandma of 84yrs old.
how strange.
pastor was already at his 2nd point abt : heaven is a wonderful place.
then after sharing a while pastor encouraged us to give an applause for the late grandma.
indeed funeral for believers is only a joyful ocassion.
that the deceased is in a better place now.
( that always remind me of him)
a day in the house of the Lord is better than a thousand elsewhere.
in a split of the eyewink, we will all meet together! amen.
( i had a little regret, the banner hanged up during his time was not a cross. Yet i told myself, its HIS timing.)
somehow, it brings that longing much stronger.
yet, i have not fulfil my promise to him.
so i know its not time yet.
it will take some time now.
"slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. if it seems slow, wait for it patiently, for it will surely take place. it will not be delayed. - Habbkkuk 2:3
God, i pray for Your hand to open a way.
truly what will hold my family together is You.
You gave us the "same" blood to be together as a family,
i pray the day will come all of us are cleansed by Christ's blood.
amen.

anyway, Jer has been such a inspiring friend to me. ( its gonna be our 13year anniversary soon...)
a sister-in-Christ too!
though we may serve the same God in different church, yet our friendship has deepen so much because of the same vision we had.
to be with God and serve Him.
she's a friend whom i dont meet very often, we can dun meet for many months, yet the moment we get together, there' no lack of conversation.
we both know we are limited by time. our time is use for other purposes God has place in our lives.
i rem i met up with her recently, and i was so glad she asked me out.
at suntec food court, i was puzzled, i do not know how to help her.
yet i was glad she shared with me and i was there to be with her.
God, i pray she will sort out her thoughts with You in that area.
m glad too for her now she has a "partner-" a spiritual man to lead her.
God, i pray You will guide both of them in Your timing and will.
that they can be great couple You can work through them.

a young lady, the eldest of 3 other siblings.
youngest now only 17.
had to face loss of dad at her 'A' levels.
yet she scored such good grades.
another "blow" when a year right after, her mum just passed away.
single handedly raised her siblings with her grandma.
and now, even the only elder has left them to be with God.
yet she stands firm, such strong heart, for this, i truly admire her.
for sometime ago, i saw her went through that path.
one path i thought: maybe God, You are putting too much of an obstacle in front of her..."
yet she has triumph because the strong faith she has in God was tested and stands firm.
God, i pray she too will triumph over this "obstacle" right now for her.

indeed, a friend who has impacted me a lot.

Christmas 2005 marina views

2005-12-26T21:08:00.000-08:00

the nite scene: not sure where the whitish spots came from? but gives a bit snowy feel.

when the lights of city life are on. liked the different colours of the sky.

this is wonderful! look at the "glow" no idea how this can be at all possible.

the famous dome. Like a "mountain" ...

was having dinner with Jason ( who called us for movie: king kong), shiming, poy, yi cheng.
sitting at marina foodcourt, alone, when they went to buy food.

i am amazed by the sky, the creation of the Creator.
if creation can amazed me, how much more of the wonderous of my Creator.

i took some with a normal digital camera.
no special effects, just in case it may mistook as "edited".
nope, just pure and naturally beautiful sky. ( just like in the movie king kong-Beautiful)
enjoy... ...

Christmas 2005

2005-12-25T05:20:00.000-08:00

Dear God.
what a day!
sometimes as i wonder if christmas would be "just the same"...
yet so many blessings and i saw Your grace once again!
God, no words can really express how i feel right now.
2005 is an awesome one!
... ...tho there is a bit of "pain" in heart somewhere, yet i want to GIVE THANKS in all circumstances!

i want to thank You for my dears in CG.
a wonderful bunch of people whom, when the time comes, i know it'll be very very difficult for me. Your grace be with me.
Yet let Your will be done.
Lee: who came still despite the already made appt. Gal: keep on keeping on! touched when u gave the notebooks to the CG people. Thank You.
Kim: always treasure u very dear friend, let this christmas touch you too. :0 "hip-hop" ya, nvr see before rite? hee. ( just btw kim and me)
sandy: Lord i amazed by You.... ... Joy of the Lord shall be our strength! glad have you beside together for His work!
poy: thankful and touched by your initiative in "relieving workload" when i was "super stressed"! the piggy face bell shall always cheer me up...
Lingling: so encouraged to see you joining us! it was great and hope u enjoyed too! ( the fun side that u "nvr" yet saw before...:P)
Lyndi: so encouraged that despite sprained ankle, u came for svc! :) contd to keep heart for Jesus yo!
jia wei: always know i can count on you, becoz u are faithful lo. thanks for helping in ways that i really appreciate.
Dennis: christmas also is a good start for many good blessings from Him. thank you for supporting.
YC: sometimes, compliments be discrete la! gd thing i know you enuff when u comment. :P but tt's sweet from a brother.
Law: woho! breakthrough! may it start the "ball rolling" for many more. gotta have a treat from you on SUN LUNCH!
Mingzhu: thankful i can share some time with u the few nite before, coz i dun think i had time with u on christmas day. encouraged by your simple desire.
Shiming: wei, why u always "hide behind my back"? dun need "halo" on my head. stand up front, bro, for Him! let's do it for 2006!
June: miss your presence at service today... ...
Ian and ryan: little poys, u two really made my christmas day so much memorable! :)
wilson: xiaodi xiaodi. 2nd christmas! really thank ful for a good friend like u.
Joe: see u smile smile throughout the nite. hope u enjoyed it through too.
Jason: hey, first time i hear from you wanting to say grace... what does this means? :) hee.
Alan and beekeow and chloe: really so amazed by You! so glad they can hear this message. pray for blessing and protection over this family.
JasonLee and Elaine: good to know new friends today. friendly, pity they need leave svc early.
Brian: the same blue guy. now more "talkative" than the last time i met him.
Lily: always can talk with her, tho she's a mother of two liao. May the true meaning of christmas fill her heart!
yanyun: now, whenever i think of her, i will rem God, Your timely plan to bring her to church.
Jinghui: a easy to get along new friend.

Melvin and Michael: two of Gaode's friends...camp mates- "would we be in time for countdown" qtn they keeping asking me....:P
Melina: amsterdam. dutch. internship. unique friend.
Gim Peng: nite shift, could not join us. supper at stall. tampines, neighbour of Sandy now...glad to hve him joining us.

through it all, what a christmas!
m surprised and touched by:
a card from my ex-shep, Jean, and it's one which got a penguin on it...a long story not to be said here. :p
a present from my ex-studentNic, its been so long, yet still can sense the appreciation. its nothing i did, just a little help to him when he needed it for his studies.
a handshake cum gift from Guohui, the brother i have learnt a lot. his patience is so much a strength in him!

Jesus i believe in You,
that as long as faithful, You will bring the fruits of my heart desire.
:)
so amazed....
zZzzZZzzz ... ...in Your sweetness.

Everything will soon be over.

2005-12-22T02:50:00.000-08:00

Long ago, there was a king with varying temper. so he decided to change this bad temper.

thus, he called upon high ranking officals and asked them for solutions.
all of them cracked their brains and finally decided to make a ring engraved with
"everything will soon be over" to him.
when the king is in sorrow, he will look at the ring and understands that"everything will soon be over".
When he is in joys, til over cloud nine, he will look at the ring and perceieves that
"everything will be over", no pt to be too proud of it.
in life, there are joys and sorrows, but rem that "everything will soon be over".
No matter how hard a life is, when we think of it in the old days, it still brings back sweet memories.
( a translated version from chinese)

It is more blessed to give than to recieve.

yes, indeed, how "hard" it is to give.
when human mind is conceived much about themsleves, what "I" want, what "I" need, "ME" etc...
nothing will ever come across the mind to GIVE.
to give Love, to Give their time or resources, even to just simply Give a thought or a simple consideration for others.
it pains to give even more especially if the giving is "rejected"/ unresponded.
Can giving then be continuous?

Sometimes we take for granted when we are the ones who receive.
it could have taken a lot for the other to give,
yet, ignorance was all about it.
on the other side of the one who gives, feelings of disappointment.
even when it was thought to be of mutual deep friendship.
to give to a trusted friendship, the more disappointed when not recieved.
Can giving then be continuous?

He(Jesus) came to serve not to be served.
He came to give not to recieve.
Can giving then be continuous?
only when dependence on His giving.
He gave His life for me.
His Love will be continuous.
amen!

"everything will soon be over"

God is God, man is man

2005-12-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

recd a email, a story....

God and the Geese

There was once a man who didn't believe in God, and he didn't hesitate to let others know how he felt about religion and religious holidays. His wife, however, did believe, and she raised their children to also have faith in God and Jesus, despite his disparaging comments. One snowy Christmas Eve, his wife was taking their children to service in the farm community in which they lived. They were to talk about Jesus' birth. She asked him to come, but he refused.

"That story is nonsense!" he said. "Why would God lower Himself to come to Earth as a man? That's ridiculous!"

So she and the children left, and he stayed home. A while later, the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a blizzard. As the man looked out the window, all he saw was a blinding snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening. Then he heard a loud thump. Something had hit the window. He looked out, but couldn't see more than a few feet. When the snow let up a little, he ventured outside to see what could have been beating on his window.

In the field near his house he saw a flock of wild geese. Apparently they had been flying south for the winter when they got caught in the snowstorm and couldn't go on. They were lost and stranded on his farm, with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around the field in low circles, blindly and aimlessly. A couple of them had flown into his window, it seemed.

The man felt sorry for the geese and wanted to help them. The barn would be a great place for them to stay, he thought. It's warm and safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the storm. So he walked over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping they would notice the open barn and go inside.
But the geese just fluttered around aimlessly and didn't seem to notice the barn or realize what it could mean for them. The man tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to scare them, and they moved further away. He went into the house and came with some bread, broke it up, and made a bread crumb trail leading to the barn. They still didn't catch on.
Now he was getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo them toward the barn, but they only got more scared and scattered in every direction except toward the barn. Nothing he did could get them to go into the barn where they would be warm and safe.
"Why don't they follow me?" he exclaimed. "Can't they see this is the only place where they can survive the storm?"
He thought for a moment and realized that they just wouldn't follow a human. "If only I were a goose, then I could save them," he said out loud. Then he had an idea. He went into barn, got one of his own geese, and carried it in his arms as he circled around behind the flock of wild geese.
He then released it. His goose flew through the flock and straight into the barn -- and one-by-one, the other geese followed it to safety.

He stood silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few minutes earlier replayed in his mind: "If only I were a goose, then I could save them!" Then he thought about what he had said to his wife earlier. "Why would God want to be like us? That's ridiculous!"
Suddenly it all made sense. That is what God had done. We were like the geese--blind, lost, perishing. God had His Son become like us so He could show us the way and save us.
As the winds and blinding snow died down, his soul became quiet and pondered this wonderful thought. Suddenly he understood why Christ had come. Years of doubt and disbelief vanished with the passing storm. He fell to his knees in the snow, and prayed his first prayer:

"Thank You, God, for coming in human form to get me out of the storm!"

-- this somehow reminds me of the gospel rally i went on last sunday.
that i rem Rev Stephen Tong gave a clear and interesting illustration that the higher life form can understand the lower life form, but not the other way.
God is God, man is man.
there is a gap between God and man,
therefore,
“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
1 John 4:9-10 (NIV)

Jesus came as sinless Man to be like us,
to tell us and show us that God loves you.

i pray and hope this christmas will be a different one!

1 Cor 2:9-10

2005-12-14T00:54:00.000-08:00

1 Cor 2:9-10 (NIV)
However as it is written:
No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived what GOd has prepared for those who love Him.
but God has revealed it to us by His Spirit,
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

(sharing this as a personal testimony of how God is all knowing and He uses ordinary people to draw us to Him. our sensitivity to Him not depends only our human effort like religiously praying longer, reading more studiously etc, its by His grace. He speaks as we desire to hear from Him.
Even if seen as "coincidental", God makes it "coincidental" enough, to let us human beings knows, He knows our hearts.amen.)

was a normal day. MOn (12/12/05)
went over to sandy's place to make "baos" actually one of my other fav food, besides fish soup. just had one nice big bao on sunday...
would appreciate "baos" makers now a little bit more, coz the process of making 'baos", NOT EASY. i gave up and started playing with her nephew.
went to kim's museum to pass her a mission cd.
on the way to museum, suddenly feel giddy and headache.
decided to buy food for dinner, maybe can help ease the giddiness.
on the usual way back from SK interchange, as i was walking along the path,
it was about 9+pm.
stg just prompted in my heart to pray for xiaodi.
i dun really know what to pray for.
half heartedly coz of the eagerness to reach home and eat my food then. :P
anyway, was reminded of the unit cg time, when GR shared about certain areas we can pray for people...so started praying for xiaodi in those areas. also pray for his safety since he's in Japan and also for his experience there so that he can know God.
as i reach home, somehow the giddiness went away.
so before i break my day's fast in that sense, i decided to pray a little while for him...
funny thing is also the hunger for food not tt appealing anymore too...
then i went ahead for with my dinner,
thank God that everyone out, so i could pray comfortably in the living room...
started to do my stuff....making some things....

then received a "call" not familiar no. on the hp....
strange.
then ...over the other line... "mu shi mu shi"...eh, familiar voice though.
it was xiaodi!
it was about 10+pm.
i thought for a moment : is he back in spore again?
nope, he just told me he's kinda "lost" in Japan.
asking me if dennis called so that he can connect to dennis who also in japan too etc...

i was taken back, dun really know how to react.

yet as i blogged this,
i thank GOD
He showed His all-knowing aspect of His character.
now i know.
why the prompting of prayer came just a hour before he called.
it was God wanting me to pray safety for a friend, this xiaodi.
i would not know what could have happen. i would never know too.
is this really "coincidental"?
all i know God is good.
all i know God has reveal it to us by His Spirit ( 1 Cor 2:10a)
all i know God is watching over us.
Keeping us safe and alive.

and to this...
i think again...
would there be so many coincidentals?
i rem the strong words that ringing in my heart that came before i met xiaodi at the service.
"there must be a purpose"
that's why i turned to ask xiaodi whether he can go for the Stephen Tong's Gospel rally.
knowing his flight is delayed.

Father, i thank You for You are so good. thank YOu fo using me to pray for people even when i am as ordinary as any other one. I thank You for YOur grace for "spotting" me right there when You wanted to call us to serve You in Your divine activity.God, You are always God, and i pray for us, ambassadors for Christ will truly experience the joy and meaning of serving You.and we will never ever entertain thoughts that's according to the pattern of the world, but always renewed by Your Word. I pray for those who have not yet know You, they will truly experience You, they will open their hearts to trust in You though they may not see You. Father, everything in Your time. IN Jesus name, Amen!

Indeed in a recd sms wise words says:
only when one is lost, then can he be found.
:)

2 special songs

2005-12-10T22:53:00.000-08:00

one: "love me" - colin raye
too bad i dun have the lyrics...
i liked it the first time i heard it some months ago.
that time i first heard it, it just reminded me of my dad.

i would say i am not a "listening to songs" person.
but once i like a song, i would try to remember.
especially those of significance to me.

rem just recently, while on conversation,the song came to my mind again.
in heart: hm, where can i hear this song again?

then came back from Unit CG on fri.
went on msn, saw xiaodi, and somehow talking about chicken little songs, he then sent me 2 songs...one is the "love me" song!!!

the other song is "Its a long long journey"- corrine may
the first time i really hear it through.
also got the lyrics from him.

what a song.
i got me tearing the first time i hear it!
somehow because before this, along the way back on my own after CG, i told God stg.
... ...
the song lyrics somehow spoke into my heart.

Search me , O God, and know my heart.
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psa 139:23-24)

use my life to Praise You!
many things i dont understand
many paths i dont see now
YET
i trust in You
Your perfect plan and purpose
even at the end
things dont turn out the way i desire it to be
i already know i would learn so much
i would have drawn so much closer to You
keep my mind fully focus on You
my heart to fully love You
my strength fully to serve You and Your people
my soul to fully sensitive to You
all by Your grace.
God, my wonderful Father.

ok, share with you this nice song-

Journey - Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know whyI do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

Frank&Melanie

2005-12-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

new friends i got to know.
at chloe's shower BD (alan&beekeow)
4th dec 05, aloha loyang.

in my heart,just wanted to bless one friend, and how wonderful God has blessed me in return.

melanie, a gentle mother of two, a gal of 3yrs and another boy,4mths.
a youth counselor in her church,and now working as nurse.
know her for the first time, and somehow strike a conversation so easily with her.
only later that i know she's serving in a church at punggol.
admired her story. her life, her commitments, her marriage with Frank etc.
saw a tender and serving heart in her.
what a sister, so much i can learn from her.
she asked me one qtn.
only replied to her: Let God decide.
God, pray that you will truly bless her in her life, its has not been easy for her to be a servant in Your kingdom, a mother of two young kids, a nurse at CGH, a wife for Frank etc....Protect her, and let whatever comes into her life as she takes up the challenges ahead of her, strengthened her! Amen.

Moment.
i thank God for special people who comes across in my life.
sometimes, i will never know when they will come by again, yet it is this kind of moments to be treasured and "blogged". =p

TAGGED...here i go again.

2005-12-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

hm, its 215am now!
n wide awake.
thankful no work tmrw, and its holidays! about a full two+ weeks! (end dec still need go back school for meetings again, and CCAs hor...hee) so glad to have this long awaited break, before the "battle" begins again.

erm, gonna share about 5 weird things about myself. ( joining in the "game" Neoh has started)
but before that, one very distinct "weird" thing about choot (which is me) is that i like to talk a lot...haha. in writing i mean.
so before i begin my weird things about myself, i like to share some of my moments la.....:)
here i go again...

well, after the previous blog, i thought to myself, i wan to stop blog for a while, at least this dec. erm, for certain personal reasons.
and somehow got "things" in heart that almost "bursting to share" so decide to contd blogging. hee. weird thingy.

the "battle" shall begin again Jan 2006! with little kids! Pri 1 and twos! gonna be such a great challenge. cant imagine the "what ifs" that the experienced teachers are telling me....
what ifs:
the kid mistook the classroom as toilet. what is the S.O.P ( standard operation procedure)?
the kid cries for mama....??
etc...
yet.
i thank God for this opportunity.
for i am the only contract teacher who gets to have hands-on in the 2 different sessions, teaching kids from Pri 1 to Pri 5. that's quite a good stretch to know the different teaching skills etc.
and it'll also be a chance for me to have better time management, now in afternoon session next year, got to balance with ministry and personal life.
get to learn from different teachers. somehow, i am the only contract teacher who gets to work with almost all the chinese teachers in sch. ( since the two sessions teachers seldom work together)
pretty much exposure to full-pledged teaching. :)

Jump...
so why i am so wide awake now?
drank a nice nescafe mocha just now, thought me being "piggy" it would not have much effect on me...i was wrong. :P
want to take that as i walked home.
to use the time for thoughts and to enjoy the walk, the usual path.
hm, "disappointed" that it rained. took bus instead.
but thankful.
i reached home early, and my mum, er jie, and xiao di were home.
took the time to strike conversations....with each of them.
aiya, in my family, not like that kind, we talk about our life to one another that easily lor....( my family is traditionaly type one)
need deliberate effort one, need to have those "weird" starting sentneces etc...
anyway, just start talking "nonsense" sometimes helps in my family...haha.
had a good time with mum, havnt been talking with her for some time. i mean really two way conversations. many times, i just tell her things, then i go off to work , or outside to meet people.
i pray she'll come for this year's christmas service again, like last year.
perhaps, God, would You touch her heart like You did for my dad? it'll be a wonderful christmas gift. there wont be anything i want already for this year's christmas. :)
and er jie, though there are things i do not agree with her, but i came to understand her more. i begin to let go of my own views, being more accepting to her perspectives. and i get closer to her life, what she wants, who she is as a person. of course, cyril is almost part of this family liao.
and my this xiao di, try my best to include him more in our conversations, since he always "OUT" in camps. really dun have much time with him.
perhaps, will just go out with him alone, just to know him better. erm, that's a weird thing to do, in my this family. hee.

today. significant. moments.
went out for a lunch buffet with colleagues.
Excelsior Hotel. Eat-all-U-can lunch buffet at only $9.80+++ only!
a farewell lunch for Bai Lao Shi. he resigned. wanted a break from teaching.
i was personally surprised, coz he's the jovial kind. yes, i think he's also "stress" during classes, yet , everytime, in staff room, he's always the one who makes everyone laugh, and seems to be cheerful, hopeful about teaching etc. in fact, he is the one "mentor"ing me during my inital times, helping me a lot in coping the school systems and teaching etc.
it'll be a loss for the sch and the teaching staff.
what is teaching?
why teach?

then they went off for karaoke....hee.
didnot join them for two reasons:
1) didnt like to sing.
2) time constraint.
decided to walk around city area in that two+ hours to spend.
just walk, a time on my own, a time for thoughts, a time just be myself with Him.
i have no idea where to go, but just walk wherever my "legs" brings...
so i went towards bras basah...maybe the books are attractive there.
met Jeremy. he's also in teaching. he started to share with me his plans in teaching etc...without knowing i was in teaching now too. what he shared is valuable to me. shed soem light and clues to my "confused" thoughts. i think we stood there and talked for about 20mins.
... ...
"ask yourself if u are the kind of person who is satisfied in receving intangible rewards?"
"teaching is about passion...it requires giving, giving all the time..."

then i went up to popular.
just somehow went to the non-fiction section.
picked up a book on "small houses", always liked to look at houses, those with very unique architectural designs...perhaps influenced by my da jie last time. then explore other books... children's sections, wine tasting, origami books, and finally, religious section.
met a elderly uncle there. ( ard 70+ years)
he started sharing by asking me: u like to read books?
then he went on to share about his teaching experiences, now he's a retiree.
he was surprised when later he asked me if i was still studying or working, and i told him i am teaching now too...
... ...
"when u chose to do something, be sure really like it. otherwise it wont last."
"open eyes, hear and learn, speak less unless to ask questions..."
" God bless you."
it was quite weird that he actually came around that section twice to talk to me.
and the third time, he brought another elderly aunt.
he soften and said:" when i talk to you ( refers to me) i must let her ( his wife) know..."
we all laughed.
another weird thing the wife did was to "touch" the elderly uncle's chin...what a lovely and cute couple. its wonderful to see their love so everlasting.
i am thankful.
the uncle would never have know, God has used him to speak into me.
out of this wide universe, at such a time like this, who would have known better that i needed someone like him to say such things at this time....ONly the ALMIGHTY GOD!!

met up with su ching, shi ming, sandy at Marina foodcourt.
- mountains in spore?! nope, just that overlooking at the sky from the foodcourt, the clouds in the sky seems to look like mountains....with the sunset colours. the "durian"s still there...
kim joined us later....
had such good time talking and sharing....shiming true to himself, shared a lot, and make the gals all have a common "point" towards him...haha. and sometimes, even through times like these, a deeper friendship is built. we get to "catch" one another's freq much faster and deeper.

my first time up the roof terrace of esplanade.
i like the scenery up there.
there are many people walking from where i looked down.
each is still so unique. people are still so precious.
God loves these children of HIS.
do they know God loves them?

jump....
tagged. so i shall begin to share my weird thngs rite?!
1) i am one who can share and share, then forgot i got to share "weird" things about myself.
2) i cannot joke lo! :P cracking jokes also got to learn ya.
3) i can get encourage even no words said. eg: looking at the sky. haha.
4) i am a gal who doesnot like to shop. only purposeful shopping for me la.
( includes going with people to shop, it's ok for me.)
5) i can eat fish soup at any time, any where, any meals...haha.

actaully, hor...i gave more than 5 weird things about myself, if u are attentive, as i share in this blog, i also share about other things also....:P

God, thankful for this day's moments!
-sometimes, when we missed someone, then we realised how much the person means to us, how much the person has already occupied in our hearts-
perhaps i shall just contd to blog.
for sometimes, what we do is not for ourselves already, its for "the other".

its his day.

2005-11-29T23:28:00.000-08:00

still miss him.
its his 6th mth spiritual birthday today! (30th May 2005.)
the chinese bible untouched still.

An unexpected LETTER

2005-11-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

(pics of korea are some of the many whom a gd friend of mine sent to me) long time never keep in contact liao.

was a good time at Fish & Co. at Jurong Point with Jess, Yi cheng, Poy, Dennis. never really expect to be back to this familiar place once again. there are many moments spent at JP back then during my NTU days...

later, meet a long time friend whom i havnt met for so long, Guoliang, together with Guangrong and poy. Pray that he will get the job.

while on the train, wld i be back here? ... ...

after a long travelling, after missing the last train, missing the last bus, finally on cab....returned home. first thing that caught my eye is a envelope, ( for overseas letters) first thought, was my father's god-sister in Taiwan. still waiting for her replies since june....but unexpectedly, was a letter from my student! Kang tai, a very small sized Pri 4, 10 years old kid. i rem on the last day of school he actually asked me for my home add and tel no. so i gave him only home add. his textbooks are school sponsored, probably he may not be having extra money. i rem he also asked me how much is a stamp. i was very touched by that letter... ...

was reminded too by the story of starfish.
recd msg prayer.
Desire a confirmation. one not in sense of audible, but that assurance that it is from You.
i know it will come. i dont "see" it now, this is the waiting time.

today, showed to yi cheng and sandy coz we had guitar lesson. though i know they wont be able to feel how i feel, but i know this letter plays a significant part in this decision.
and... ...that one too.
slowly but surely. He will show.
Thank You! Jesus.

2005-11-26T17:55:00.000-08:00

" The heavens tell of the glory of God. the skies display His marvelous craftmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make Him known. They speak without a sound or a word; their voice is silent in the skies; yet their message has gone out to all the earth, and their words to all the world.

The sun lives in the heavens where God placed it. It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding. It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race. The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Nothing can hide from its heat.

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making the wise the simple. The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight to life. Reverance for the Lord is pure, lasting forever. The laws of the Lord are true, each one is fair. They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold. They are sweeter than honey, even honey dripping from the comb. They are a warning to those who hear them; there is great reward for those who obey them.

How can i know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep me from deliberate sins! Dont let them control me, Then i will be freed from guilt and innocent of great sin.

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19 (NLT)

2005-11-26T17:45:00.000-08:00

Environment can influence our thoughts. yet, be who we really are inside. let not the complexity of life change the core of who we are. we are made for a Purpose. ultimately, what will leave a legacy is what we have imparted, not the man-made "buildings". the perseverance of the Builder in seeing the architecture in completion, not the bricks nor moulds. these will soon perish, especially when "earthquakes" comes unexpectedly.

2005-11-26T17:40:00.000-08:00

Simple living. More important simple heart. To trust. to believe in the words said, because the character can be trusted. (yet not being foolish).

Seoul(Korea) Nice pics

2005-11-26T17:34:00.000-08:00

Enjoy this Journey. sometimes winding, sometimes we can come to crossroads. then we have to choose. after that, move on. dont forget the trees by the sides. they too, change. in that season, they are what they are. if there's ever a chance to come by again, they will never be the same.

Jogging...Life thoughts.

2005-11-25T15:10:00.000-08:00

went jogging.
the exercise i always wanted to keep up...
thankful i went to day.
was raining on thurs morn, dropped the idea.
today, though was cosy, to snuggle inside my blanket for a good long sleep.
decided to stand firm, off went for a jog.

a cool morning.
i try to keep my mind clear from things, so i just spent the time enjoying for that moment.
many things can worry us, if i keep thinking and thinking.
sometimes, leave it there. give it to Him.
He will take care.
life itself is not about what we go through, the trials of problems or etc...
Life itself is also about appreciating the morning sun.
the morning smell of dew on the leaves.
the cool weather along the path.
the serenity of the surroundings.

still rem yest evening was with sandy, walking through the path from Bras Basah complex towards Raffles City.
looking up, i was somehow encouraged to see the sky.
maybe to many others, whats' the big deal?
yet, though it did not pop a verse, nor a "revelation" etc...it just touch my heart, the peace that comes gently resides in me.
once again reminded me of the Creator of it.
the colours He chose for that evening to paint the sky
the cluster of clouds He made to beautify the sunset.
many things we take for granted.
i would always chose to appreciate this breath i take.
breath of life.
without it, all is meaningless.
sandy said stg: God knows how to encourage you.
yes, indeed, He knows!
who else in this world knows me better than God.
even at times when i cant bring myself to believe that He is the only One.
the truth is He is!
and ultimately, i know i will still believe because He will show.

Live Life to the Fullest.
what i cant do, i leave to Him
what i can do, i persevere on.
when i can see, i give thanks.
when i cant see, i press on to faith.

"However, i consider my life worth nothing to me, if only i may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
Acts20:24
amen.

my prayers for those in Christ,
Have hope in Him, Rejoice!
my prayers for those nearing Christ,
that you may see the wonders and goodness He promised.

msn with my kids

2005-11-25T14:42:00.000-08:00

just amazed.
at the knowledge of kids have now with regards about internet, computer etc...

just met 3 of my kids over msn.
was surprised as they requested to add me over msn.
did not know who they are at first.
but i just added them....

one was teaching me to use some internet websites to create name tags with effects....
asking to converse over webcam
etc...etc...
hm, a different generation def.
at their age then, i would prob still playing "masa masa" outside HDB flat, at the old playground ( with swings), going to market place to watch the "ah gongs" and "ah mas" chatting at the benches etc...
what a different childhood.

was thankful that i can chat with them.
to know them better outside the "square" classroom.
though i would not be teaching them next year, but would be nice to keep in contact with them.

interesting day to just chat with them.

Thankful.

a BIG family in a small world

2005-11-25T14:32:00.000-08:00

just over this few days i was conversing with three friends.
well, maybe not much of a "big thingy"
but it came to mind the big HOPE family in this small world.

1) David, the fellow Msian brother who is now in HOPE Santiago, CHILE
got to finally see him on msn.
got to wish him belated birthday.
and will always rem him as my new believer WFL teacher.
he'll be back soon.
how time flies, its been about 3 years now that the church started there.
God, be with them in this land.

2) Chris, the Hongkong-canandian brother who is now in HOPE Toronto, Canada.
rem him as NTU brother.
it was a mere couple years in NTU, he capture the vision and went back canada to plant church.
leading a youth/tertiery ministry.
God is amazing. within a couple years, saw how God worked through his heart to be such a person with greater sphere of influence.
always a matter of heart, not abilities.

3) Keat Mei, a msian sister whom i got to know prob a year ago.
she just happen to join our CG while she's in spore for business trip sometime ago last year.
was just in time, coz we have not been in contact for so long since then.
i was online, she just added me over msn and ask me if she can join CG this coming week when she's in spore.
so blessed to have HOPE churches around the world.

No matter where u go in this world, there's always a home i can call my own.
this HOPE family.
Jesus being the Head of this HOPE family.
Diverse yet united by One.

my 5-4 class

2005-11-23T03:20:00.000-08:00

( at the back of classroom)

the one whose back facing the camera is wei ren. also the one who sent me the pics.

zhi peng, the good boy in the class.

xue hui, si qi, jingwen, huiwen, li qin, wenhao, ee ling.

Who is Christ to NG5B2?

2005-11-20T04:31:00.000-08:00

Contributions from:
Dennis, Mingzhu, Rachel),( Yi Cheng, Poy, Shiming), (GuangRong, Sandy, Lee), and me. :)
(Wonderful sat CG First in history, Yi Cheng's room)
the "powerful" aircon who sticks paper, the dusty ledges on the door, the dusty orange curtains....:P

one that's "glowing" with many squares on our body.

one that i discovered many things about "unknown facts" or some known facts about this family i learned to love more and more.

-one who grows 10cm per year in pri sch.
-one who danced before in his faculty! ( this caught everyone by surprised!)
-one who likes exercise but havnt get to it many months now.
-one who likes english last time
-one who's actually quite particular about germs
-one who's likes high heeled pointed shoes
-one who like to count tiles while bathing
-one who had a fake tooth
-one who likes arts and.. (cant rem)
-one who likes prata and tea (aiyo everyone is so sure who is this!)
and more which due to my old age, cant rem now...haha!

we get to know one another more through this simple game that rachel and mingzhu prepared.
its nice to just know more about someone in this family, and yet there are still so many things we yet to discover.
how interesting life itself is.

reminds me of a sms i recd today from paulin, a good friend of mine.
"life is only traveled once. Today's moment becomes tomorrow's memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the gift of life is life itself."

indeed, today's CG is a moment for me to be treasured. thank all of you who are part of this moment.

as to the title of this blog entry, wanted to make it a memory for me....
( dun mind me blogging ni2 men2 de4 answer hor...wont write names la)

Who is CHRIST to NG5B2:
a person i am still learning to know
a person to follow
everloving Son of God
comforter
conqueror
the one whom makes meaning in my life for He is ...God
assurance He will be with me all my days
my confidante
Christ went through a lot for my salvation
Christ understands / identifies
Friend
the one up high
redeemer
model
source of life
lover

just realised i also forgot to share who is Christ to me during the sharing time hor?
here's it that i "owe" u guys.....haha.

Christ has been a friend to me when i first got to know Him.
He has been a source of help during the growing up times as a new believer.
always go to Him for help.
Slowly got to know Him more through bible, people, the church etc...
then i think He became more important to me, the centre of my life.
though at times, i still struggle in putting Him first.
He then became more real to me Himself as a savior, the One who gave His life to forgive my sins.
over years, i realised i fell in love with Him gradually.
so He became my lover of my soul.
at some mountains high and valleys low times, He was the King and Comforter.
Soon i also learnt He wants whole of my life, full of my heart.
not easy for me to give fully.
Yet He waits patiently. yes, very patiently, always there for me.
He has reside so deeply in my heart now, that even as at times i struggle through,
He gently surfaces up to let me know,
i still have Him.
In my deepest heart, i still want Him a lot in my life.
i still desire Him to guide and walk in His will
Never to give up on this relationship, a relationship that i know i cant bear to just let go now.
it would had been worse to let go, He promised that He always comes
when my darkness fills my senses
when my blindness keeps me from your touch
when my burdens keeps me doubting
when my memories take the place of You

Jesus when will i ever see the fullness of You?
yet because of this
i press on to take hold of You

to gain is to lose

Thank You, Jesus.
For all that You are
for all that You have done

i am "tired" now, be with me.
recd a sms prayer at the end of day, so blessed.
to recd strength and wisdom
give me assurance to contd to do Your will
put on smile to infect others
Protect me
show me Your mercy and grace
In Jesus Name.Amen.
what a day!

The Promise-Russell Nagy

2005-11-20T03:49:00.000-08:00

its part of a song composed by him.

Who is Christ?
To me in my life?

" silent by night,
in mortal flesh enshrouded,
He who framed the mountains
draws first breath.
Far from human sight,
the Promise never forgotten,
is in love begotten
to conquer death."

Colossians 1:15-20
...All things were created through Him and for Him (v16)....

LC 2005 ( Part two)

2005-11-18T14:11:00.000-08:00

what a day!
had to stay back in sch for basketball.
coach didnt make it again...that means i had to take over the training.
thankful one P5 kid, Bryan came to help out. otherwise, i would not know what are the drills to do.
this batch of basketball kids are fun to be with, they are all very innocent kids....liked being with them. esp those "cute cute" ones...
this would be the last training with them, i think.
since i was "told" i would be in the afternoon session next year....wont get to see them.shall wait and until everything's confirmed.
gonna miss the gals...

pouring, but still had to get back home first washed up before going to nexus.
was drenched upon reaching home.

then got out house quickly.
still pouring.
almost 645pm, decided take cab.

guess what, it was one of the longest cab ride i ever took this year bah.
think it took more than an hour, reach ard 8pm.
i rem the feelings i had while in the cab.
tt deisre to be near nexus soon, and soon...
praying hard for the traffic to clear.
anxious, unsettled, and bit of frustration.
"blamed" for my decision to take cab, should have taken mrt....etc.
anyway, as soon as i became aware.
i took a step back.
to still
to wait.
then i know, many times, we want to do things fast, in my timing.
nothing wrong with tt, yet i dun need get frustrated with things which i cant change.
me in the middle of the road, i cant do anything, so i just need to stay calm and be patient.
sooner or later, i will reach.
(the destination i was to be)
God is with me.

blessing came. the taxi driver took only $18 from me instead of $21+....:)

went into nexus. the worship atmosphere was so great.
i thought i need some time to "settled" my heart, yet once i step into it, i can sense the strong presence of God, people worshipping the Lord as one body!
PTL!
it was a refreshing time.

went to oceania rm with jac, fellow sister whom i admired her serving spirit, jiexian, jane, limei.
we just prayed along in the rm, while the people were at nexus audi.
rem JX prayed specifically for a person in nexus who had shoulder problem etc....
then after Ps mentioned a few other prayers areas, and he encouraged those who recd healing to come up and testified.
a person came to the stage and said he was healed of the shoulder problem!
wow! who else but only God knows the deepest our our need.
Prayer-its all abt Him.

so utterly amazed!

as it ended, recd a sms from a sis.
what she sms me was such great encouragement to me.
we hvnt talked for so long.
so many months, her this sms is impt to me.
for i know God is working! because of that prayer i made on tues nite!
PTL!
when all human efforts fail, God is the ONLY ONE who makes all things possible.
amen!

what a blessing to many, when we all serve God with such kindness to one another.
david teo saw us and offered to drove us back, for the second time.
Bairang, poy, rachel, me. thankful.
so very tired yet so blessed!
ended the day with a blessing of a sms prayer.
Thank You Lord!

LC 2005 (Part one)

2005-11-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

tonight is the DAY!
was looking forward to day...
to meet with other pastors from Hope churches all over the world.
and to also recd much from the Lord in regards to A healing church.
( a leadership conference open to coreteam and above for tues/wed nites)

many things touch me.

1) the atmosphere, the sweet fragrance of the Lord, simply "smell" it when everyone gets settled down at Nexus and started praising God and worshipping God.

this song has significance to me: Still
it touch me once again about Faith in God! what we do with our faith can leave spiritual impact, even though we may not see. it was a song that brought me to breakthrough playing guitar in cg.

Jesus, i believe in You
Jesus i belong to You (song)

2) saw cryst parents came.
sat beside her father. tho did not talk much with him, was touched even i saw him walking down to the stage requesting for prayer. as i prayed, i know God is moving in his heart. it will take place according to His perfect timing. be patient. the physical experience of "numbness of hand" of the overflowing anointing of the Lord's healing power. to be contd on....

3) poy was prayed over with pastor. Pastor asked him: what sickness? cough for months...He added on: can you laugh? to me, what a funny qtn to ask at tt moment. but quick enough, i caught his meaning, JOY of the Lord shall be our strength. "cure" to it: LAUGH.
laugh at the wonderous things of God, laugh at the things He has already blessed us, Laugh at the many more blessings to come..etc.

4) went back to seat, saw a "granny" about 60+ years. talked with her and hearing how she kept persevering about trusting in God about healing to come, which at that moment she did not recd yet. what a heart for the Lord. would i be a granny with such persevering trust? the Lord shall bring me there....

5) stayed back with the sis/bro to celebrate Ps PK's birthday! e, tho i dont know him, only meet him just before the teaching session, at Le Meridien. can sense his serving heart for God, his care and love for his family, his joyful spirit though there may be things happening in his ministry....brought me once again about our Hope family, one i call home.

6) was touched by the video that happen during the Khon Kean Church camp. once again, recalled the miracles i also witness. about the faith and trust! saw the uncle who walked and even jog a bit after so many years depending on walking aids....God is indeed so real! it reminded me once again, God has brought me to the camp in 2005, by His grace.

A healing Church- why sometimes we are not healed.
-God has his plans when we are down with "sicknesses". God can use these times for His plans.
-to flee from sin and disobedience, and to put faith in Him!

many prayers came to my mind, as pastor revealed one by one abou the prayers requests...came to realise that there are many things that i havnt got down to praying... family debt load. one that not sure how it will be "settled"....prayed, shall leave to Him. relationship.one still not "reconciled", God, more love in me, to make a decision to love. uncle's cancer. hvnt been praying for him and his knowing of YOu....etc.

need You more and more.

Hope vision shall keep us there, going and going.

what a day!
this is Hope family serving.

Memories of my P4 students

2005-11-11T14:45:00.000-08:00

this two weeks in school are filled up with activitites.

just on thurs, the Pri 4 are having their "whimsical moments"..musical plays that the whole class would participate.

P4-4 had a "tick tock" advertisement.
Xian wei ( monitor) was the MC, wearing a big clock face to cover his "relatively" bigger face.
yi xiang and yibin were the Taekwando demostrators. wow, not bad, both did a cart-wheel!
qing Ci was the imposed Pregant woman with two newborn babies: Yu Xuan & JingRong.
both of them were the smallest sized pupils and they really looked funny with their bibs and crawling all over the stage....
even saw the quietest lee pin particpating together with the class. was touched when i saw his smiles....those were the few smiles i ever see him revealing eversince i came to school.
tian hui, the "noisy" girl in class, was made to be the hen ....so funny with the props on her.
lian feng- the shy girl, was comfortable to be the "sun" and "moon" signs...walking "confidently" with what she can do, walking across the stage.

P4-7 had a lollipop advertisment.
each was holding a hand-made lollipop.
some were masked as aliens, discovering the treasure of lollipops on earth.
could see their anxiety and excitement waiting for thier turn on stage.
YOng he, the ever name i always have to call, coz he always made so much noise in class.
saw him for the first time, taking lead in leading the song together with the class.
Wow, he really looked so confident holding the microphone and singing.....

at the end....
results: P4-4 came in first n P4-7 came in second.
what a surprise!
i guess, at tt moment i was touched and proud! hee, coz both are my chinese classes lor...somehow. like a "parent" to see "my child" achieving something.
in my heart i celebrated together with them. (though they prepared the muscial with their form teachers)
i can see their joy! so much of it. am happy for them. the kind of childlikeness' joy showed in their smiles, cheers, and faces....and together as a class, they did it!

even as i walked together with them back to their classroom, they were saying:
"Lao shi, did u watch us on stage?"
"lao shi, we won first prize..."
"lao shi, u know who are the ones behind the masks?"
etc...etc.....imagine several kids crowding you and asking you all these questions....
that is the kind of joy in teaching.

to see them enjoying doing something in their education life in primary school.
to see them celebrating the joy of achieving something they can do. ( despite their many failed times in the academic results)
moments with them.

10th Nov 2005

Decision

2005-11-06T23:27:00.000-08:00

heart mind and soul decided.
until He says otherwise.

Dragon Gate Restaurant!!

2005-11-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

7pm.Dragon Gate Restaurant.Lobby C, HarbourFront.

was early, went around until xueyun called me. ( tt's my da jie)
seldom see her nowadya since we all went back our "own" lives since june...
only rem caught her once at somerset on a mon evening.

saw weishun, always liked his "peaceful" presence.
i think my da jie is blessed to know him.
i also got to know him better today.
and they came with mama.

we all gathered at the entrance of dragon gate restaurant....
hm...two weddings held there too....
thank God, my xiaomei, caihong had booked earlier on....
but kinda funny to walk in through the banquet to the reserved tables....
we actually walked past the wedded couple.
haha.

everyone was there.
xueyun and weishun
caiyun and cyril
caihong and guohao
me and mama
yes, first time guohao came and joined us as a family gathering.
hm...actually think this is also the first time we had family gathering dinner ever since we all started working.
it was meant to celebrate caihong's BD, 3rd Nov.
juz only my brother who's missing. he had stomachache and going to book in to his camp.
if only he was there.....then it will be wonderful.

i like today.
though was a bit tough for me to share out certain things, certain thoughts and decision to vv after the meeting....was "stress" over it....but since i decided so i shall keep my words to Him.
but i am thankful i had such wonderful dinner with my family later in the evening.
cant imgaine i was the horseface during the dinner.
the one making everyone laugh, or rather trying to make everyone laugh....hee.
asking the qian bian wen da ti...haha....
i actually amde everyone laugh with all those qtns etc....
now who shall say i cant "crack jokes"?! hehehe.

always liked cyril around.
he has been the one with my family the longest.
he saw most of what happen in our family, other than weishun and guohao.
and he sure knows our family make up too.

guohao naturally became the "victim" of being questioned...
but we decided to let him go since its only our first time with him around.
shall spare him....

and guess what?!
i suggested the "zhong ji mi ma" game coz the buffet food was too much.
and it somehow got everyone involved and laughing and talking....

God, i thank YOu for this wonderful dinner.
one i truly laugh without constraint, without any burdens in my heart.
but if only he was there.....then it will be wonderful.

God, i pray for my family.
i want to really see them in the closer family of God.
i rem my words to him.
shall persevere until i kept to tt promise.

thankful for today.
a great dinner!

Saturday JOG. Finally

2005-11-04T13:08:00.000-08:00

7am.
so tired. went into Zzzz only at 2am yest wor. let me rest a bit more....says my body.
had a wonderful Cg at yi cheng's place yest.
last min changes.
had to take the tabernacle prayer altogther. thought to myself, was difficult le, God.
But i leave to You, it's in Your hands.
Great, God, so good. to be in Your presence. i truly know and assured Your presence yest at CG. indeed, when u called us to serve, You will be with us!

rem Yi cheng's simple illustration:
WOG says: one plus one equals two
we say: one plus one equals 1.8
we fall short of the glory of God.

the more we see our thoughts and desires that fall short, the more we experience God's grace in our lives!Amen! Heb 4:14-16

there's stg i told God before CG. thank you God. i sense that uplifting in my heart.
it'll be difficult, but You be with me always.
not my will, but Your will be done.
i want to be grateful, to be joyful , to be firm, to always let go and let You.

went home, saw bro at home.
watched "Xiang Zuo Ai, xiang you Ai" ( a korean love story)
so sad at the ending. both the pretty girls died of illness, left the guy.
ok la, but such things seldom happen in real life. just another fiction sweet romantic love story.
:) just sharing my personal thoughts on it, no offense.

8am.
wakie wakie!
its in my mind. my decision to make.
washed up, put on my NEW NEW BALANCE running shoes!
so nice to have a new pair, which i long for many many months liao lo.
hee, bought it last sunday with rach, shiming, poy at Suntec.
a good bargain, and i liked e design. and its new! haha.

decided to take the route my xiaomei ran with me before.

down rivervale plaza, towards Hougang Ave 10 and 8. to punggol park. round it.
and jog along the quiet roads towards sengkang east way, then back to home.

jog, pace, walk, stop, stroll, sprint, jog walk.....etc....
tt's my 1hr long :jog" on sat morning.
wonderful.
i realised, sometimes, there's a season to jog, to stroll, to sprint.
know when i can.
persevere and push myself beyond the "my limits"
the satisfaction, the joy recd at the end.

prayed for rach when i "vaguely" past by her place, prayed for poy, when i reach hougang, prayed for wilson when i past his house.
(haha, blessed are those who stay at Northeast. anyone wants to move house? hee...)

thank You for this QT....
rested my mind and heart with You.

as i walked back to hme,after praying for CG people.
i asked God for names beyond CG, wowo, amazing so many names came to my mind.
vivian, zhong da, siew yee, aiai, choon yam, zhi hao, xu qing, shireen, etc....there are so many people we can pray for....

Rch home, b decided to down to rivervale plaza for a cold drink.
bought Peel Fresh Guava and sipped. so nice.
then guess what "overcame" me?
i actually took a chinese newspaper.
haha, thought its abt time i start "learning" and picking up my chinese again this holis.

i like this sat.
unplanned in a way. came spontaneously.
this is what i enjoy doing if the day is left to me.
to spend soem time, with Him, jogging.
reach home, do some reading.

God, thank You.
refresh my heart, renew my love, Pour Your Spirit into my soul, refresh my heart.
amen!

Xin's Wedding

2005-11-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

29th Oct 2005
went back to my previous church in my teens years.
no familiar faces around except a few.
was surprised to see apple there, she's was also invited coz she's xin's colleague.
waht a small world.

praise and worship, but everyone seems to be tense, was the wedding atmosphere?!
was disappointed not able to be xin's "sister" for her wedding, should be quite fun, thankful junie and jer blinn were there to help her too.
not all were there.
brenda, juliana, weiwen, fengpin, yumei were not there. only half of the team.
those of the days....teen days.
met the "boys" team too...the table tennis girls and boys...haha...was surprised by a few "unfamiliar" faces...we have all changed. one was "expanding" quite significantly, almost all couldnot recognise him. hee. ( Geoffrey)
funny how we recall all those teens days...some were embarrassing....:P
but it was very good time to know some are in same family of God, though in different churches.
( alvin, zhi chao) and we still call one another with the nicknames we used to give to one another...a "Justice Bao" among us...when i sw him, i naturally called him by the nickname, of course, recd a few puzzled looks from the people there...haha....
then among the "boys" team, there was one missing. we all sort of miss him, in a way we are quite curious how he's doing. the most decent, responsible and quiet among the team. hee, and they also naturally turn to me and asked me. but i have no answer for tt. lost contact with him since the last time i saw him at NTU.....we all hope he's well.
interesting moments with them.....those are the years....hope better and meaningful years to come.

pastor shared a simple message about true love:
1) Love unconditionally
2) love sacrificially
3) love eternally
Like what Jesus Christ has loved us. we ought to love like Him.
so much still to learn and love like He does....

a few significant moments at this wedding i was very touched.

1) both kneeled down facing each other. Pastor prayed for them. MC was trying to get us distracted by saying things on the other side etc...then i caught william praying for xin, and xin too, said prayer for him. it was a weding committed to the Lord and before the Lord.
they took the Holy communion together.

2) the mother of the couple took a candle each from the candle stand of only three. then they pass on to the other of the couple, and both of them together, with the lighted candle lit up the one centre candle. Symbolising previously both are individual lives, but now they are one, as like the light in the centre one candle, that cant be separated.

3) the song willaim sang for xin, which was a surprise for xin. "Beautiful in my eyes" haha, really, though his voice was not very beautiful, but his sincerity was indeed more than enough to touch her heart, coz she's was in tears then....xin, be bless, and pray that the Lord will contd to lead u two in this God-centred marriage.

it was wonderful to see a beautiful marriage, not in terms of the decorations, not in the faces of the bride or bridegroom etc....but in the beauty that it was one that is committed to the Lord. one that the Lord is in it. one that they would contd to walk on this journey fully letting Lord be centre in thier marriage.

got me thinking a lot of things....
for people and for myself.
set an anchor for myself few months back.
n i well remember those things i told You.
help me to be a faithful servant to keep to my words.
it would not be easy but i know You will be my guide.
diffcult to let go and i know if i clasp my hands tight with this now, i cant open my hands to hold the many more blessings You want to give me.
the anchor based on Your word and values and beliefs indeed assured me of the eternity and the perfection of Your plan.
thank You for Your promises, for they always give me hope and joy.
this will be a training ground for refining my character and to know myself more....

rem You spoke to me the last time,
To Love is to give the best to the other.

God, may You richly blesss xin's marriage.
Xin: i wish You Jesus.
and i know those few more to come....pray they will get to know Your Love too.

Through it ALL.

2005-11-01T00:25:00.000-08:00

recd a song lyrics from a brother from another church....
found it meaningful. be bless.

THROUGH IT ALL

I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
There've been times I didn't know right from wrong.
But in every situation,
God gave blessed consolation,
That my trials only come to make me strong.

I've been a lot of places,
And seen so many faces,
There've been times I've felt so all alone.
But in that lonely hour,
In that precious lonely hour,
Jesus let me know I was His own.

Through it all,
Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all,
Through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

So I thank God for the mountains,
And I thank Him for the valleys,
Thank Him for the storms He's brought me through.
If I never had a problem.
Wouldn't know that He could solve them,
Wouldn't know what faith in His Word could do.

Through it all,
Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all,
Through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.
Yes, I've learned to depend upon His Word.
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

Praise is wonderful! down and up.

2005-10-27T03:10:00.000-07:00

marking exams...been at it for HOURS liao...still doing...hai. :(
yet i am still awake at this wee hours...want to sleep but so many things in mind now.

decided to pick a CD and play some praise and worship song.
sw Don Moen, my "fav" "idol lo...hahaa...
every song just came so touching, yes even the praise songs!
it just lifted every heavy burden in my heart.

1) Praise looks good on You
2) i offer up my life
3)Be magnified
4) God will make a way
5) God is the strength of my heart
Out of the 12 songs, these 5 means a lot more now....:) wonderful! such songs just so touching that can bring tears one lo!

how true is it when God says in His words, Sing praises to Him, "sit back" and watch what He can do! in the example of wall of Jericho, Joshua 6.

how true it is too, the power of encouragements at His time!
recd a email from Ling ling days ago, ( hee, din reply her tho) then today she gave me another sms, just to ask how i am. its msgs like these to know and encouraged that people care. thank you, girl.
recd another from paulin, been weeks not in contact with her. already date and book her once she fin her busy schedule...so blessed to have such a friend who been blessing me with msgs now and then.
recd another thoughtful act from poy, offering timely help when i needed which i din expect. heehee. thanks lots, but had to reject coz ... ...

many faces in my mind now.
i want to trust in You.
behind every rain, there's always sunshine.
i know You will remember every tear in my heart.
i know You are here with me and all the dear people whom You love so much.
Bring us close to You.
let not the enemy triumph.
let us not fall into his schemes.
Protect us with Your truth!
Hallelujah! Praise te Lord!
Good nite, God.
Longing to greet You again, good morning!

alrite, back to my marking now... ... :P

2nd breakthrough-TAXI

2005-10-22T13:20:00.000-07:00

here's one more to share!!
so so excited to share with you al.
jus yest, we had such a powerful flow of the Holy Spirit in our midst in YWCA during the Praise and worship time! m sure those who are there will agree, Amen!!!!
As all 4 testimonies are shared by kengsuan, siew choo, eddy, pei key)and the Word of God shared by vivian and teck keong, i believe the Holy Spirit had done the conviction of our hearts yest nite! PTL!
even, personally, i m encouraged to keep on seeking Him and asking and greater things in my life!. :) Faith-takes action!

anyway, rem Teck Keong was sharing about his TAXI endeavour?!

i beleive there's a God-timing as to hearing his sharing yesterday.

guess what, the "kangsters" ( Poy, Rach, ANgela, myself) took a taxi home after dinner, ard 12+am...
we were talking and sharing about church etc....the fellowship we just had etc...in the taxi. :)
as angela was carrying many things, so rach offered to send her up to her floor. and somehow almost quite immediately, as anglega felt "pai seh" to do tt, rach and myself told her to give us "chance" to share with the taxi driver.Becuase of what we just heard from Teck koeng abt his testimony.

so rach and angela went up...i was in the taxi waiting downstairs.
i thought, since we said we want to take the chance to talk with th etaxi driver, i "might as well" start talking.
so i ask him :" do u know the roads well here?" e, i cant think of better qtns liao....
then we started talking....a bit. just mins, rach came down.
off we headed to rach's home.
then, to my house. but somehow, the taxi driver started talking to me again, he ask if we are back from office etc...i said no, but we came from a church meeting. so it striked a GOOD start....
found out he read e bible before, he was searching last time. He had some fam things, and a pastor came to pray for his fam, his two sisters converted then. etc....WOW!!!!
(funny thing is i was quite focused in sharing with him, that i , two times, din give him directions in time for turns such that he got to reverse taxi , thank God, no cars ard tt time...:P )
and even as we had already reach my home, we talked for quite a while in the taxi. i can see his sincerity in finding out more. coz to taxi drivers, time is money, they would want to drop the passenger and quickly go for another trip etc...but he actually allow me to spend tt time with him. i gave him my no. and he even ask if there's chinese speaking svc, and said he would like to bring his father there. WOw, what opportunity!! :)

from this small episode, i saw God-timing.
if i had not been to YWCA, hearing the testimony, taking taxi would had been a "normal" thing to me. by this, we were "more aware" about seizing every opporunity even in taking taxi, to let people know, God loves them!!

now i pray that he will really get contact with me...and i can speak my "half pail water" chinse with his father and bring him to te madarin svc!! amen!
God, U are wonderful, and Your grace still amazes me!
amen!!

Breakthrough this month!

2005-10-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today.
i just shared to my mum about my dad's conversion.
a testimony i withheld for about 4+mths now.....

i didnt shared right after my dad's funeral coz i thought they were not be in the "right" mind and heart and feeligns to hear those things..so i waited.
yet as days passed, this had never gone out of my heart and mind.
i had always want to seize the opportunity to tell them.

until stg that still stuck in my heart is what Ps Jeff shared during Sunday's leadership meetings.
nothing is more urgent now than to share about the good news and to bring those loved ones to God. yes, indeed.
What is important? there are many out there outside this family whom had not tasted the goodness of God, let's be diligent!
it would be foolish to let satan have a stronghold on us as a family, though i agree the spiritual affairs are as important, and spending so much energy and time to "fight" within this Body, yet "taking away" the time and energy which we could have spend on those who are lost out there. God, let's be united in this Body, God be in control, whatever it is, God's love be the centre of all that we do and say.
(personal heart and feelings)

Thank You, God.

Forgive us if we do anything against you.
Give us YOur word to guide us.
Pray for unity in this Family.
Let us LOVE one another.

So excited to share my joy with people, sms a few people.....
i know some are excited together with me.
Thank you all of you, for being with me all these while.
i remember each moments. really, each moment of time u all being there with my dad's last journey of his new begining, i treasure them very much. i am grateful that i had u all with me.

(how are you? i thought u will be joyful together with me, but from your sms i feel not.)
God, protect her in Your comfort Hands, and let the joy of salvation overflow!

yes! God's hands is already moving.
Dont miss His hand! Catch His voice!
He will speak: "yes, go! touch his/her life, I AM using you"
then we got to act, and not procrastinate.
God's will be done, yet not mine.

praying for my mum's salvation and family's

guess what, i "secretly" discover one of my siblings reading Rick Warren "Purpose Driven Life"
WOW!!!!
m just so excited about what God is going to do in my family!
Just keep Praying, keep believing!

Bright Moon!

2005-10-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

hee...this tues till Fri, PSLE marking.
thought gonna have a good break, the teachers are out marking the papers.
a few of us had to stay in sch.

then found out we had to help out with the P1 Registration.
hee, no holidays lo.

anyway awoke with so much tiredness.
even tho i thought i had rested enough from mon.
but the sunday's "nightmare" still hovering....
(so stressful marking the composition esp when i am the first marker)

somehow was up at 5am.looked out, saw a bright big moon.it hangs directly at me.( outside my hse' window)
sms a few to share this.
then came one sms reply with an amazing perfect timing of the words: He wants me to have a full life.
God, how ever accurate timing YOu cn give.
i needed Your assurance today.
Thank You.
Your grace still amazes me.

:)

what a week at school! Part Two

2005-10-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

SECONDLY, if anyone of u can recall i ever mention that there's one class that i always "struggle" in going to teach in their lesson.

this time, things got "worse"
they are having their composition exams tt day, so they had to change seats.
before i went into the class, somehow i knew they would change their seats to the places they like to sit instead of the allocated ones.
perhaps they knew i am a teacher they can "bully" and i wont insist on them sitting back to their original places.
as expected, befoe i went in, they are already in their "market place" NOISE, more NOISE!
oh no...!!
i decided to keep my "cool" and stand outside the class and told them they have to sit back their original seats before i go in, so i stood outside the class until they move.

NO ONE MOVED. they continued making noises. i was filled with anger. really. anger in the snese how come these children dont listen.
i had it, so i told them again, i am giving them two minutes and if not, i will go and find the discipline master. (proved to be "powerful" teacher whom everyone is afraid of him).
NO ONE MOVED.
i walked away, towards the staricase , then i "regretted". in my heart during tt time, i thought: " why did i say tt? now i really dun know where to find the teacher? and i cant possibly leave the class like tt and go around the school to find the disciplne master."
so i took my time, and decided to walk back.
saw some students actually followed me out.
i told two gals, that before i step into the class i want to see them back to their respective seats.

they DID.
then i started to do some work with them.
it was really short term. They simply ignored me and played and talked and do whatever they like to do...a total chaos.
NO one was listening. except a few who genuinely want to listen.
i lokoed at the class.
i felt so lost. very lost. i really do not know what to do.
i didnt want to shout at them anymore.
i dont want to be angry anymore.
i just simply lost at what i can do, say.
then a teacher from next door came.
i turn and saw her, she asked: " what happen?"
i walked towards her at the door, and said stg like tt:" i dont know what to do..."
then tears rolled out.i walked outside the class. i cant face this class.
the teacher then went in and scolded the class. she told them to stand up.
i stood outside the classroom, tearing, was so sad and lost. from there, i could only hear the teacher scolding the students.

it took about 5mins, but while i was there outside, i was thinking a lot.

the teacher told me not to go in class but to ask another teacher to come in to relief.
in my heart, i still want these students, i thought by going away, it felt to me like abandoning them. so i told her i will go in.
she told me to sit and do nothing in the class and just make them stand throughout the lesson time.
i went in, but i decided to stand with them. i somehow felt it was right to do so. as a teacher, i do what i say, i will stand with them until they realise their wrong attitude.

a long time we stood "together". it was also a time for me to "cool down".
in my heart, i look around in everyone of them, i said prayers for them. i just dont know what else i can do at tt time.
i was not angry at them, but i felt sad and lost.
i didt sense that they were repentful, they still whisper and tried talking and making fun of one another etc...

God, protect these little children. let them grow up in a healthy environment where they can be brought up with right values and attitudes.
What a responsibility teachers have.

class over, i just took my bag and walked off.

i thought it was over.

then after school, the level head teacher actually took some of them into the staff room and asked them to apologise to me.
hm...staff room usu very quiet, any scolding in the staff room, would mean news for all the teachers....
hm...the whole chinese department now knows about this....hai....i have become "well-known" in tt sense.
with their apology, i knew it was not what i look for, it was about thier changed of heart and attitude towards their teachers, the kind of respect they should carry with them.
but sad to say...i did nt sense it from them.
was thankful it is friday.
at least i did not need to face them the following day.

Mon.
before i went in, i prayed for myslef to keep cool, i dont want to scold them anymore.
i went in, could sense a bit of strange atmosphere ard the room. that kind of awkwardness.
anyway, i decided to continue as per normal.
then a few gals passsed me some little papers.
it was notes of "sorry" and one even said: "dont worry be happy" :)
then the monitress and monitor came up front, and got the whole class aplogise to me.
actually i was touched. could feel the tears coming out again. yet i withdrew. :)
i took the time to share with them what i value would be their change of attitude, not on their apology, tho their expressions and words do mean cahnge of heart.
i felt it brought me and the class closer.
somehow it broke the awkwardness, the strangeness.

perhaps this is the last chance i can touch their hearts.
next week they are having exams and wont be meeting them, and soon it'll be holidays.
God, i pray for everyone of them to be touched by You, embrace them into YOur love and peace.
i know each of them has his/her own family situations and who they are now can be due to a lot of factors, God pray that somehow, this small episode will remind them of me, and in time to come, use me to touch their lives again.

(min yee, liqin, jia ling, wei geng, zirui, zhicong, valerie, wenhao, jiahong, zhi yang, eeling, junhao, zipeng, junyuan, huimin, xuehui, shaowei, jingwen, mingya, huiwen, yijie, weiwen, hong jun, zhengyi, siling, weiren, siqi, xun hu, jia en, caiyao)

i thank YOu.
even during the time , i saw a few touched moments.
WG told me he can give away some cards to me to "lure" the nosiy ones to quieten down. i was touched.
JY tried to shout for me to ask the class to quiet down. i was touched.

what a moment!
i would def remember this episode.
it was truly deep impression and showed a great deal about the challenge about teaching the kids in schools....

what a week at school! Part One

2005-10-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

(was a uphill week at school...here's what happened...) :)

FIRSTLY, over the last week, had my first hand on Oral exam for the students....
all i got from the teachers was some instructions on how to grade them.
there i went, thinking i could just rely on the sheet of grading checklist.

it was no fun! a continuos examining of over 30+ students.
Hearing the same passage being read, the similar description of the pictures....
and at times, i was almost "nodding off" to Zzzz coz the oral took place in the afternoon.

anyway, i thought this is it. finally over.
then i was called to HOD (head of department) room for a talk from my HOD.
wo, i realised another fellow teacher had told my HOD that my grading is too strict.
i had marked the students down by more than their ususal standard.
in my heart, i was disappointed. and sad.
i thought i did my best, to what i can.
yet not to what is expected.
it became an issue. i had to deal with it.
went to class to look for the students,m trying my best to recognise the students' faces so that i can recall how i garde them on the oral day.
phew, i admit my poor memory, and i could not remember, prob only 10% of how the oral exam goes...
stress....how to tell my HOD??!!
Learnt that next time, i should include my comments during the oral so that there's a reference.
but my HOD was kind and encouraging. Hee, prob she saw through my stressful face!
after a week's ordeal, "ding dong" ing etc, it was settled! hai...
what a lesson to learn!
But i thank God.
it tested on my heart, and composure in dealing with such things.

Contentment

2005-10-18T18:45:00.000-07:00

Found this article interesting ...spoke to my heart abt stg.
so here's this blog to constantly remind myself.

Content. The root of the word means "contained." Dr. Warren Wiersbe says it describes a "man whose resources are within him so that he does not have to depend on substitutes without." It's the portrait of a person who withstands the blows of life by drawing upon what's inside. New Agers would applaud such a statement, but the truth is that only God supplies such internal resources. God in us provides more than an adequate supply of spiritual strength.

Philippians is a book penned by a man buffeted by life's bad weather, but yet a man with a contented heart. Eugene Peterson calls the epistle "infectiously happy." "Before we've read a dozen lines, we begin to feel the joy ourselves – the dance of words and the exclamations of delight have a way of getting inside us." Joy spills from Paul's pen across the pages of his letter; it's drenched with obvious contentment and confidence. Perhaps Paul was just one of those annoying people who actually wakes up when the alarm goes off. Instead of stumbling in and out of the shower, maybe he had his day half planned before the water ever got hot. It's possible he whistled while preparing breakfast and then finished a few household tasks before strolling off to work.

Learning to Be JoyfulHis personality could have been a factor, but Paul makes it clear that he didn't come by contentment and joy strictly through genetics. He learned it, and he learned it the hard way: "... for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11). His list of circumstances stacks up against anybody's claim to hardship: he'd been imprisoned, flogged, exposed, beaten with rods, stoned until nearly dead, and shipwrecked three times. Everywhere he went – city, country, open seas – he was in danger. His enemies included bandits, his own countrymen, Gentiles, and false brothers. He had gone without food and water; he had known cold and nakedness. Oh, and one more thing – he was probably single.

Paul took life's tests and aced them. Adversities became the objects of growth that God intended them to be. How could he so happily endure such hardship? Near the end of Philippians, Paul reveals that he had learned the "secret of being content in any and every situation" (4:12). The cheat sheet for the secret is found throughout his writings. Paul knew above all else that God was sovereign. God was in control. When the ship became floating debris or dear coworkers forsook the gospel, God had a plan. Secondly, Paul had confidence that God was sufficient. He trusted God's ability to work His plan. God's power in Paul was more than enough to handle any circumstance. "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (4:13). The secret of contentment, then, begins with acknowledging that God is sovereign and that God is sufficient. The secret is sealed, however, when experience proves it true.

Departure

2005-10-02T21:19:00.000-07:00

went to send sandy's japanese fren, yumiko off at the airport on Fri nite.

while everyone was near the gate, looking on a fren who's leaving.....
i somehow took few steps back.
i look up, saw big words: DEPARTURE

something came to my mind.
i know it gonna be from You.
but i cant figure the last letter.....stg that goes along the meaning of "called for" or "destined"...
hm....:) but i know i got the rest of the letters already.
turned around and asked sandy, kim for the the word.
they din know tt time what or why i asked.

then i got it!!
D.E.P.A.R.T.U.R.E
Doing Eternal Planting Across Regions That You Are Entrusted!
Thank You God!

Finally today get to meet up with Da jianming.
asked him about the mission ideas i emailed to him.
he sounded positive.
maybe things will work out from there.
God, show me Your ways.
Amen.

God's Beloved child-Kim

2005-10-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

One:
Meeting Kim on fri. was late coz meeting SQ before tt.
think she was tired.
i ask God to strengthen her during my train ride to kallang to meet her.
a thought came.
get her fruit juice and some snack food.

came out mrt, walked towards the provision shop to get those things.
called her at the same time to find out where she is.
she answered.
she was just behind me, in the same train as me.

she came over,i told her i want to get some things, din tell her what i wanted to get.
she suddenly said she feel like drinking fruit juice.
WOW!!
God, i am so touched by Your sweet love for her.
it has to be You.
You just wanted to show YOur love for her.
how can a man know the mind of another?
it is indeed You, for i can recognise Your voice when u "whisper" to me during the train ride.
Thank You.
God, You are so good!

Two:
today, after all the meetings at church.
GR< Da JM, TK, SY, KS wanted to go watch show.
hmph, i also WANT TO GO!!!! :P but i cant lo, got lots stuff to do. hai. :(
had been rejecting a lot of outings/tea times this few days etc ...
how nice to sit down, drink coffee, and catch up with people.....
how nice to just have the leisure time to watch a show, to do something i enjoy...
hope soon it'll be over.
it'll be tiring this month, many things going on now, but i want to rely on You, i want to do it together with You.
i want to see breakthroughs!
e...chong hei...hai. :P

a thought came.
call kim, she might want to join them for movie.
caled her, she sounded surprised.
i ask her whether she wants to watch movie with them...
she had actually wanted to.
WOW!!!
it had to be You, GOd.
who can know the mind of another?!
Thank You God,
You loved Kim so much.
to bless her in things like these.
Thank You for working through me, that i can also enjoy this blessing to know and experience Your love for her.
Lord, contd to bless her life.
Lead her to greater heights.

(this is a testimony of God's love i see He showed towards kim. God, so sweet leh.)

Jus prayer.

2005-10-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

"Father, i pray that today for all of us in this caregroup will be united as one. i stand before You for all of us that You will move Your sovereign Hand in our lives, forgive us if we had sin against You,if we had been made You too small in our lives, by Your grace,letting our hearts be drawn so much closer to You, and committing our lives to You.Father as each face is a child of Yours, and i know Your heart goes all out for each one of them, You truly love us unconditionally. Today, You lead us to build us up as a community of commitment to You. No one will feel lost nor left out. Father there are still many who are not in this pic, God pray that You will protect them too. Pray that we will love each other as You loved us, and keeping a spirit of unity within this family. We will be a generation that makes a difference out in this world, a group that has Jesus as the centre, the Head of this body! We will be a pioneer group that shows ourselves as a holy sacrifice unto You, a strong tower that is built on the foundation of the word of God. Father, when we are weak, give us strength. When we are stress, give us Your peace. When we are drained out, grant us joy. That we will be there for one another, encouraging and supporting each other even we are going to get ready to march out as a victorious army for You. Let nothing on this world distract us from You but we will persevere on to meet You and to rejoice, for the Lord is with us! For we are called at this time to be a group that is fitted together perfectly, as Jesus leads us, so that we can always be growing, healthy and full of love. Amen! and yes, Amen!! Father, i commit Shiming, sandy, kim, peilin, june, yi cheng, poy, jia wei, lawrence, mingzhu, dennis, rachel, guangrong,lee, ling ling, jane, lyndi, guoliang, meijuan, myself into Your hands. Lord, i ask for Your voice to speak powerfully in to our hearts, that we will always be transforming to Christ-likeness. i want to believe in faith. i want to see You, not our own sight. not us, but You! not abiliy, but Holy Spirit's working through. there will be more into this family, coz its Your Hand! God, thank You for being with us in this breakthrough that we are going to have, look forward for many challenges You will give to us as we consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds for that we will develop perseverance , character and hope! We will do only what we hear from You! God, Thank You! in Jesus name, amen! "

(just wanted to paste this pic, to remember of God's goodness. He has brought many into our group. each is precious. just wanted to keep us in His hands by this prayer so that i can remember this day, God has called us to be intercessors for the lives in this family, and many more lives that is to come into Light. learnt about persistent prayer today during UDMM with GR< Cryst, Den, Kim,PK. so it shall be, today marks the day to be persistent in prayers. Prayers can really changes things, becoz the One we pray to is GOD! He's all things possible. )

Hee...also to test test, whether i can post pics or not....keke. :p

what a day! *:)

2005-09-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

its the 5th day!!!
"kept" inside house for 5 whole days, just imagine.

now the contd of Jonah....

i thought it would be over
soon over
until YOu said "No."
i asked:"Why? i thought i know enough already. i thought i saw what You wanted to show. i thought that is enough already...i thought..."
inside of heart,
"Why? what is it?.."
i dont see it.
why dont You speak?

but then again...
heart was not still.
not still enough to hear,
even You speak,
i may not hear.

eyes are physically impaired.
but never let it be for my spiritual eyes.

deep down,
the waves of turbulence
my own thoughts and voices around me
has lost sight of Him
of who He really is
of His intent of what is going on

here i am
i give my heart to You once more
i turn my thoughts to You once more
i want to see You, really
its quite a struggle not able to hear You
You show me Your ways
i give up my "right" to be angry
( like Jonah)

"Is it right for you to be angry about this?" Jonah 4:4

sorry.
for my wilful ways.
i took it into my hands.
i had wanted it my way

"Holy Spirit, touch me from above
Holy Spirit fill me with Your love
Holy Spirit, move upon my life
Holy Spirit stirs me inside

i yield to You
Spirit of the Lord
do Your work in me
i yield to You
Spirit of the Lord
do Your work in me" (song)

Thank You, ever so tenderly loving
i rejoice for this rebuke
for it made me know
You loved me so much
enough to let me know
enough to let me go through another 2 days
enough to show me despite i was "angry"
enough patience with me to whisper to me

Father, pray that my heart will continuosly yield to You
as i walk on, i know there will be more times i "can" be angry
maybe i would, for i am not perfect
but let me be quick to be still
still to hear Your voice.
to be rebuked so that i can change.
Thank You for all that You have done.

what a day! ... ...

its also a day that i finished my journal book...one that i had with me for the past years....
going to get a new one, a thick one, that i can start another book again....
hm, how many i had since i start journaling...cant remember. :p

The Virus Story-all abt it.

2005-09-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

tues.
woke up with a red eye...ignore it.
went school.
only after the first lesson 9+am....already felt pain...told myself "hang on there"
went until the last lesson which is half the day.
went into the "stressful" class as i would term it now...
coz i always have difficulty in getting their attention...
but as the days goes by, i am somehow "capturing" , at least two of them now, out of the gang of 6. hm...catching their hearts now..."wah, to think teacher also got to think of ideas to capture the students hearts....in the heart language,i mean. last time, when we were still schooling, we were all so obedient le...
anyway, back to the class, two of the gals saw me with red eyes, told me to go back home and rest....
and i was touched, wah, at least got two concerned about me...hee.

home, feverish, slept.
woke up in evening, so swollen eyes, that i felt pain and could not really open my eyes.
went to SK clinic.
the doc surprised that i couldnt open eyes....
gave me eyes drops and ointment.

slept. its a pig's life.
or rather, a sick person's life. hee.

wed.
oh no...still swollen.
looks serious liao...
slept again....

missed "friends of South America"
had wanted so much to go...but i let it go...:)

woek up on thurs, hoping to see a better eye.
hm...thank God! the swollen part externally has gone, fever has gone.
only the internal still red.
yeah, i thought: i can go CG today!
until, my mum came to me, she said she got red eye.
then, a while later, my 2nd sis also woke up with a red eye.
just then, i recd sms from my xiaomei, she asked me if my red eye infectious, coz she also got red eyes!
wow, a family of red eyes!
i was very taken aback.
something new i experience in my whole life, at least to what i can remember.
it start with me, and it spreads so fast.
(* note: stg came to my mind about this..will blog in another entry)
i feel sad, to cause so much inconvenice to my fam.
feel amusing, to the impact it can have on one another because we live together.
feel worry, because of the kids i can come into contact with on tues.
and they are going to have exams soon.
Pray they are in Your safe Hands.

went to see the same doc again thurs noon.
he was smiling to me when he sees me, saying my eyes are better now....
but when i told him, it is infectious, and my whole fam got it...
he laughed...
and i actually laughed together with him...coz i find him so funny.
a doc actually laughed in front of patient?! hm...:P
anyway, i came out of doc's room, only to find my xiaomei queueing alsoin the sme clinic.
and of course, she went in and told the doc she got from me, she said the doc laughed again...
aiyo...a comical doc.

finally, everyone was at home.
my mum, 2nd sis, myself and xiaomei.
somehow like being "quarantined"
now i prob can feel how last time those people feel when they are quarantined.
and it came to mind, it was for very long time since we had a time together.
after those times, it seems all of us had went back to our own time schedule.

during this period.
i was first sad, coz i asked myself: why am i sick again? after tt long sore throat thingy...
i was uncomfortable with the time i had, coz i am used to a busy schedule.
everyone sms me to rest, and i felt a bit uncomfortable.
prob it was a signal that i shld slow down my pace.
i was touched by a few sms.
got one funny sms from shiming: cooled me like how God cooled Jonah....tt's a cute prayer lo!
( coz i was having fever....jonah was sheltered by a plant God made it there to cool him from scorching sun)
and smses just came in to ask me how i was....was very touched, esp those prayers....Thaks to all....Siew Qin, Rach, GR, Kim, Dennis, Sandy, Yi cheng, Poy, Law, Shiming, xiaodi......
my CG. i love you all. ( haha, can only say in my blog, i cant say it out to you all when face u all la...me still "shy" ) :p
got a sweet one from gao de: about pdwerful prayer ya...hee, its God's hands. Keep praying, then u'll get to hear more, see more and experience more. knew u prayed very hard.
got a cute one from Xiaodi: "meet up after the cats and dogs?" haha....my ans: No! even after the cats and dogs ran away, nope, not meeting u...haha...coz u may gonna get it too lo.
got a enlightening one from poy: even when eyes are impaired, we still can see the sight of God....hm...words of wisdom lo.

during the time i had, finally slowed down my pace.
to take time.
to appreciate life itself.
siew qin called me, and we just talked. not rushed.
after CG, poy came over, was a surprised "visit" tho suspecting from his sms, sounded like he would come over. was nice talking to him, feeling like "qurantined" victim finally found someone to talk to ....

after this whole episode.
hope be over soon.
i knew myself better.
i knew my Father better.
what a week.
what a experience.
what a life.
anything can come.
Life in itself is uncertain.
once again,
it reveals Him awesomeness
His sweetness to me through the people.

O God, even when i tried to hide from YOU at times like Jonah.
i thought i could hide from You
but in the end,
You always come in so gently beside me
to hug me in Your tender arms
to bring words of comfort to my heart:
My child, i have not forsaken you
not even a moment I left you
i have been with you watching over you
when u are about to fall down as you tried walking,
My hands are ready to catch you
when u are about to give it all up,
My arms are ready to support and lift you up
when the sadness in your heart overwhelms you
My tears flow with you
I AM here to exchange with you
your weariness with My strength
your sadness with My joy
your anxiety with My peace"
o God, Your everlasting promise is so sweet to our souls
always bring forth a ray of hope to me when our EYES are impaired
restore our sight to Your Will
that we can always follow to You through
Untill we see it!
Praise be unto You God!
(oh, btw, if it sound to u like a poetry, all glory to Him, coz i was inspired by Him as i worte this down) - a moment to be with Him
:)

Mothering-taste of it

2005-09-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

i am single, not married, with no children.
hehe....u know later why i state this....:P

its not easy to do something out of me....
remembering tt time when You first called me...
was at B1 cuppage with Choon Yam...still rem those words i told him about what You showed me....

then it was a journey of more than 1+ year now...
people come and people go...
sometmies up and sometimes down
at times, like a smooth sailing slope theres time to rest and relax
at times, like uphill, theres time to stretch and labor hard...
whatever it is, You have been so faithful
that
wu2 hua4 ke3 shuo1 ( maybe i shld write a chinese poetry next time about Him, until He says la)
about who You are
along this process of who You showed Yourself to be as of now

somehow this resting time at home
got me to be very encouraged about
MOTHERING
yes, a task which i think even lack in the kids nowadays... ( m not going into tt for now)
(but i think always good for mothers to be around the kids when they are growing up, at least until they are "old" enough, i mean not to over shelter them, but to guide them in biblical ways etc...)
back to mothering...
i sense a "achievement" as mothering CG.....( ok, not that i m treating all you gals and guys as kids lo, nor taking the "credits" etc....)
but tt kind of shepherding....probably.
a nurturing heart, if it better describe it.
coz i was very glad, without the "mother" around.
you all can take care of yourselves.
One: God is real in your lives.
Second: its a healthy CG. Rem Eph 4:15-16.
( if everyone depends on a human person to move or grow, hm, where's the discipleship? everything would have fallen like sand, no foundation.)

i really felt so encouraged to hear CG went as well and people are rising up to be discipled for GOd.
as a "mother", i felt like tt.
the kind of joy which like a mother seeing her kids growing up and knowing how to take care of themselves.

Psa 119:49-50
Remember Your promise to me,
for it is my only hope.
Your promise revives me,
it comforts me in all my troubles.

and....perhaps, its time also for the kids, rather the growing children to know how to take care of others....
life's constant thing is change.
Let changes take place, according to Your will
coz without it, we may never grow.

Sin vs Virus

2005-09-23T03:46:00.000-07:00

the entry that was in the previous blog : the Virus story

there can be sin in my life.( the virus in me)
if i dont deal with it, cure it etc...whatsoever.
it can creep into others' life. ( the virus just spreads to others)
not tt i have the power or i am in control etc.
but people can "capture" it unknowingly
EG: if i tend to say negatively about a situation. person.
hearers sooner or later would do like wise if they themselves are not aware.

Sin creeps into our life so easily.

and it most hurts when those who "caught" it are your loved ones.

O God, protect us.
give us eyes to detect sin in our lives
guard our lives
lead us to Your everlasting ways.
As leaders, may we always be aware of our ways so that we will not infect Your sheep in this sheep pen.
We leave to Your sovereignity
To guide and to show.
amen!

Inspiration form Froggy

2005-09-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

Life's lesson No. 1

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs, ..who arranged a running competition.The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...The race began...
Honestly...No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:"Oh, WAY too difficult!!!" They will NEVER make it to the top!!!" or:"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!!!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher...
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!!!" More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher...
This one wouldn't give up!!! At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out...That the winner was DEAF!!!

The wisdom of this story is:NEVER listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic...
Because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you...the ones you have in your heart!!!
Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!!!Therefore:ALWAYS be...POSITIVE!!!
And above all:Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you can not fulfill your dreams!!!
Always think:God and I can do this!!!

Don't tell GOD how Big your storm is. Tell the storm how Big your GOD is!

His Voice, faithfulness.

2005-09-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

15/09/05
was a terrible day at school.
was so so discouraged....:(
a "bad" day. at least tt hows i feel.
seems like nothing to give thanks about.
aiyo, really meh, i knew God is watching over yet i cant give thks, nor to be joyful lo.
anyway.....
something happen at sch, first time.
discouraged about the influences kids have or rather the way they are brought up.
or rather....
went into staff rm after tt, saw hui shan, told her what happen,
thank God,
she gave some advices on how i can deal with it. etc....
went home, din even have the "mood" to mark books.
left it there.
wanted so much to go home straight away, to just let my "sadness" to God.
and....the unimaginable happen.
i forgot to bring my keys out in the morning.
mum went outside.
no one at home.
locked out.
hai....:(
plus its raining....pouring.
cant go anywhere.
so sat at the staircase.
inside of me, "take this time to spend with Me"
i read His word.
so loud woh.
"Dont be troubled, Trust in Father, trust also in Me" Jesus said. John 14:1
decided to pray. to listen. to still before Him.
"I want to show you this situation, to open your eyes, to see what is happening in schools now. to paint you a picture of what kind of challengs may come your way. to be clear of this path. to show so that you can seek Me to decide, yet, I AM with you. I will guide...."
and i knew in my heart and in spirit, God hears, He knows, and He answers.
Thank You God!

CG
leading worship as guitarist at the same time.
first time!
was so so great!
what a breakthrough. indeed, its about Holy Spirit leading.
about the heart of worship.
not abt the skills of guitartist.
Thank God for sandy to come in to help in leading praise.
every and anything can go wrong.
but when our hearts are drawn to God, nothing will go wrong, for He is ever so loving!
then YC came right after tt to tell me he's ready.
and another answered prayer!
was praying for him, for this bro to have faith in what God has given him!
and he's ever so soft and serving towards God, tt he hears God calling him
PTL! thank You God.
what a day!
He has turn my mourning into dancing!
Sorrow into Joy!

Sat
meet SQ for shepherding.
i thought it was Your thought.
i had thought so.
as i shared with SQ, then i ask was it You?
did i lost the sensitvity to recognize Your voice?

Superstar Karaoke.
still have difficulty. i know some of them had tried. and i know one even "led" by example. i see their hearts and intentions. i wanted to try, still a bit more to go out of "me" bah, i guess.
anyway, i thank God, for i am who i am, and i am still Your beloved.
until i see You.until i see it. then prob tt will make things easy for me to change.
Vinc, rach, YC, Kim,Den, Lystia, Hendry, Poy, Shiming, Su Ching, shuwei, Law, Zen, J, Pei key, li siong,KK.

Sun
Thank You.
for the intercession.
to once again experience You.
usually we pray for things we read from bulletin, pray for svc, preacher, for other matters in church.
once again, You have led us!
today, nothing much was mentioned in bulletin abt what'd the psg is going to be.
we dun even know what was the psg by the guest speaker...
somehow, Holy Spirit led.
we pray along about breakthroughs in our lives!
and as i joined in for the 2nd svc.
sermon: 5 Keys to breakthoughs"
wow! what revelation!
we didnt know what to pray, yet as we allow Holy Spirit to lead.
He showed.
so nice, so touched.
not only because we prayed according to Holy Spirit's leading,
but also i was personally encouraged to hear, and so much touched to know He just wanted to let me know:
" My dear child. I know what u are thinking, feeling. I hear you, I just want to let you know I have spoken. I will make you even more senisitive to Me, My voice..., you had not lost the ability to hear from Me....Keep seeking, keep asking....."

went down to the front of Nexus audi today.
two breakthoughs i wanted to be prayed for.
1) Work 2) missions.
Leave to You, Lord.

Moon cake
Bright full Moon.
Let the Light of Jesus shine even more brighter in our hearts!
amen!

For Law:1st experience at Hope

2005-09-11T00:37:00.000-07:00

Haha...for LAW.
i mean lawerence.
"sneaked" into his blog..heee
saw one of his blog: 1st experience with Hope.
shall share my here.

two things
one
first encounter Hope people , tt time they call themselves "Hoppies" erm...:p
i got their them wrong at the first time, so i always thoght they mean they are people who hop around....heehaaa..
i rem the first person i mt in NTU, a brother who came up to me with a "good" smile and ask me if i can spend some time do survey.
i thot was polite to stop and do the survey, coz i would not wnat to make any "enemies" on my first day at NTU plus i was alone....better do what i can do la.
and actually after completing, i ask him for directions to the bus stop.
so tt i can go back to bedok from Boon Lay
erm....guess what he did, he showed my all the way from medical centre to the bus stop at the building near er,now i cant rem what building. its the bus stop after the turn after hall 3 i think...
anyway, it jus a very long walk to me lo, for a "stranger" to send me all the way...
erm, "over-helpful"
but tts also the deep impression created ya!

second.
1st visit at Hope Church, tt time, Hope of God singapore
erm...not at a building with a cross on top?!
its at ulu place of Kreta Ayer People's Theatre?!
so many elderly gather there....
and i went in...so dark ya. hm....bit like some secret gathering lo....hee....at least to my impression tt time.

ya, tt's my first impression of church.
eh, did i blog this before?
not sure....at least now i cant rem. unless some kind free soul would like to check for me.
somehow seems like i write before...
anyway.....old pple like me ...its ok, just bear with me. :)
and its for Gao de lo....
and whoever misses my last blog which i wrote abt it...if i ever did tt.....:P

missing him for 100th day

2005-09-09T04:30:00.000-07:00

just want to blog my thoughts and feelings today

as said by my siblings.
today is the 100th day for my dad.
even tho i dun count the days, coz usually they do this for the rituals thingy.
thank God there's no more rituals on the 100th day.

today,
glad to have unti CG.
been sometime we see one another together as a unit!
cryst, peikey, li siong, rui zhi, bernard, marissa, jingyu, ian,lystia, vincent, kim, dennis, gr, shiming, poy, rach, sandy, june, yi cheng, lawrence.
my heart is glad to see few who i long to see them at CG.
thank You God for them who came.

liked this worship song we sang at unit today.
the greatest thing in all my life is knowing You

shared something today which just came out,
when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
somehow it also encourages me when i said tt.

few lingered a bit more before we moved to maxwell.
bernard, june, marissa, sandy, rach and me.
was touched by what june said to me personally.
:) (ohoh, its just btw me and her)
Lord, keep watch over them and safe in You.

was late, poy offered to bring us back by car.
Guangrong who initially wanted to take the bus back from SK.
so that he can planned the sat event with me.
thankful for his "extra many miles"
ended up we discussed the sat event together, GR, Rach, Poy and me.
Lord, let our serving always be pleasing before You
we can make many plans, but You are the One who determines the steps.

as i reach home.
somehow my heart just fill up with his face and thoughts of our times together.
felt appreciative of those who prayed for my dad.
Heaven is a wonderful place.
filled with glory and grace.
i want to see my Saviour face.
( i want to see my dad 'soon")
Heaven is a wonderful place.
-a praise song sang in unit time today.

a day that i miss my dad too.
recd sms from poy. sometimes, his "crazy' ( rather fun side of him) can lift up others' spirit. thank God for him, he said something which reminded me to keep on praying for my family so that we all can meet my dad again altogether! amen!

Lord, i ask for a loving relationship with You
not just knowing about You through WOG
but to interact, to communicate, to ask and recd, to wrestle, to listen
the still small whisper
not in earthquake, not in fire,
"where are you, my daughter,cc"
Father is a wonderful God!
Give tks!

Step into it.

2005-09-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

sep one week holidays.
so nice, and going to make use of it.
to be infilling and immerse in Him.
to be joyful in the Lord, and rejoice! giving thanks!

what we do the things we attempt shows God in us.
a great God in us, we attempt great things in life.

since june.
the soft whisper to do tt thing.
things in life cropped up.
nvr get down to do it.
gave myself excuses to say that time was not good time.

then remember on a sun sermon, think was through Ps dinah talked about it again.
it hit me again...
but in my "me" thoughts, i didnt take any step.

and again, during separate two ocassions during Hope Sem, through Ps Law and Charmaine, they brought it up the necessity of it. somehow, the still small voice whisper in my inner spirit.
but.....

guess it was the last draw.
God must be patient enough to let me hear once again.
at the coffee shop with cryst, GR, siew yee, teck keong, buying food to go to vivian's place for a time of fellowship.
teck keong talked about him going driving thoery so that he can convert his msian one to spore's. and guohui also taking up the lesson.
he asked if i want to take together.
erm, er..."ok" went the response though i was not sure it came out from me.

a small episode.
how the still patient voice of God can be ringing in our inner spirit.
yet the qtn always come: do i want to take the step?
nothing happens when we dont answer the qtn.

over the past weeks, asked God to show His plans for me in areas of missions.
esp within this year till the next june 06.
while i keep asking why He didnt show confirmations, it dawns upon me that He is already taking steps to show me.
the next one step is to pick up the driving skills.
one that's so much needed in church planting.

driving.
my 2nd sis already has. my younger sis already learning.
so being "me" , i know i would rather them driving me around if need arises.
to take this driving course.
it not me, i know its out of my comfort zone.
let it be
coz through it, it would be a breakthrough in my life.
not in terms of skills acquiring only, but a reliance on Holy Spirit in growing to know Him better.
ever let it be
i would enjoy the process of picking up this skills together with You.

at the end of the day, would it turn out to be used in overseas?
i would not know.
for now i am sure
this step i need to take.
for much i will learn.
Thank God, You never gave up on me despite the many times You whisper to me.
Thank You that You open my ears to hear You
to still be sensitive to Your voice.

You are nearer than i think.
Always be full of joy in the Lord, and i say it again--Rejoice! Phil 4:4

--
not easy.
i tried with the utmost i can.
the thought came.
difficult to come before You.
because of my fallbility.
what shall i do?
yet i thank You for the word you showed thought a sms.
"giv all ur worries and cares to God, for He cares abt what happens to u....my purpose of writing is to encourage you and assure that the grace of God is wif u no matter what happens" 1Pet 5:7,12
in this world , we are not against flesh and blood but against the authorities, the principalities etc.....
Thank You for Your word that brought me up to You, the assurance of You being nearer than i think or felt.

For You chose me and called me by name,
and i am reaching for my destiny this future You have planned for me. (song)

God, desire to be near.
nearer.
Not "me" but Your will be done.
i continue grow to surrender to You my rights, my desires my thoughts.....
make it ever perfect in Your will.

--
Only need to go bakc school two days!
enjoyed being a contract teacher.
less things to do.
:P
but i got to "sun'tan" myslef again later...
basketball training.
argh, going to face the crazy bunch of boys again?!
God, be with me even at trainings!
Hee....
but some P3s are really very CUTE!!
cant resist the urge to pinch their faces!! haha!
its wonderful to talk with kids.
:)
let it be a wonderful day!
( still have lots of marking to do....the "bad" part about being teachers. always have markings piled up)

Thank YOu God
for all You have given.

Teachers Day

2005-09-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

going to pen thoughts randomly....

coz so many things has happen over these days.

just recd a sms from her.
days ago, couldnt get to her, either she missed my calls, or i missed her calls.
somehow only through msgs we can get replies from one another.
its hard when u so much want to find out how the person is doing and what going in her life right now...
yet, there were not much replies.
but that will only caused me to contd to persevere on, to contd to keep her in prayer.
for only Him sees everything.
He has His own plan, at His timing.
today she msg me a little prayer short and sweet.
so nice to recd one such as this.
at least i know she still prays,
somewhere deep in her heart, God is still lingering in her.
Thank You God for being ever present help in times of need.
Pray that u will be touched knowing GOd is nearer than you think,
we are embracing you with our prayers for you that you will come back to where you stop
the unique role u have in this CG cannot be exchanged
i pray for you too, remember, you are a dear sister to me.

Recd today too, a few sms wishing me happy teachers' day.
haha, now one more day to celebrate, other than BD, new year, christmas, etc....and one more to come, children's day.
Paulin ( the very funny fren, whom i can chat with, even tho i thot we should have some sort of generation gap, hee) sandy, zhangting ( a very good fren whom always encouraged me a lot in my teaching job. she remembered my first day at work and msg me to encouraged me. we somehow got to know each other more now, esp we went through similar things happening in our family this year) Rachel, Cryst.

Also send msg to other fellow MOE colleagues in church to wish them:
at least those i know are, siew qin, xiao zhu, guangrong, dennis, kym toh, shenteng, chu kai.

God, use all of us in this area of teaching to impact more lives!

recd a couple of gifts from the kids.

on tues, 3 of them actually came to the staff room and wanted to give me presents.
one boy, he's very cute. in fact in class, he was the one who always "encourage" me:
teacher, u got to be more fierce so that the class will be afraid of me.
teacher, u can use the cane and hit the table so that the class will quieten down.
teacher,.... etc.
yes, yi bin, he is also very chatty in class.
something he said touched my heart as he was giving me the present to me,
" teacher i gave to you because i like you." ( in mandarin)
hm, from a little boy, that kind of childlikeness.
i was a bit taken aback too, dont know what to say in response.
so came a normal reply: thank you, lao shi need to rush in marking books, so you all better go home la...etc...hm, shuld have said something more encouraging for him. aiya. :P

then they came back again after a few mintues.
this time, a girl,Zi Qi, the monitoress. also very chatty one. but she is very responsible. tho always talk in class. and alwys play with the boy, Jin rong beside her.
she went to buy something after that.

on the celebration day,
the theme was "go Wild" alll teachers are encouraged to wear something related to animals...hm...thot wanted to wear a piggy t-shirt to sch, but then again,reconsider this idea.
find most teachers in Punngol are very fun loving people, on ocassion like these, they really let their hair loose and play with all the kids. even those i have seen them scolded kids very harshly, they became very fun loving people.
guess being a teacher is not easy.
are they who they really are when they step into the classroom?
or is it because of the circumstances that they had to appear that way so that they can have some class contrl management?
but i think to really have impact on the kids long term, need to give what we have inside of us.
and try not to be someone we are not, coz the kids may pick that up, and they may not be able capture the whole essence of it al.

then the most significant item during the concert was they played this song:
Becaused you loved me.
what a meaningful song.

then we went to zoo for a lunch buffet.
yes, ZOO! having lunch with all the animals! :)
anyway it a cool and nice place. a good idea, instead of the normal restaurant etc.
Forest Lodge.
the chairs and tables are decorated with linings/ cloths with animals' stripes.
different atmosphere.
had a good time knowing the teachers, especially, the other contract teacher, Yvonne and Huang lao shi.
laughs and getting to know them much more.
hm, she even invited me to go clubbing...hee. :)
hope to know them much more....

ya, then spotted intersting thing.
the Zoo even organised a "Zoo" themed wedding.
very interseting concept. just imgaine.....
haha, will suggest this to my "da ge" in church, since he said he's getting married soon next year.
aiyo, i wait until my neck got so long liao ya...
hm, i m sup to do the card design for him too....
hee....:P

anyway, like today's holiday.
had sometime for myself with God.
dun want to rush the time.

want to see the glory of You,
i believe.
You will reveal to me.
i reminded of the vision YOu showed when i first became a CL.
the path of step by step.
God, whats' more to come?
Pray that You will show.
that i may know and obey.

the driving license. got to do something about this.

more seeking of You so that i can very be sure of what You revealed to me.
and i trust because You will make a way.

Pray for my family as the date draw nearer, Lord, protect their emotions and heart.
let it only be moments of missing a person we hold close to our hearts,
remembering him and his impact in our lives.
that my family can grow out of this, stronger people because there is Your love holding us together as one.
Pray that my mum will know Your love, God, dont stop speaking into her life.
let not what she think is good for her, hinder her from You.
coz in busy life, we tend to keep You aside
forgetting all You are and what You have done.
God, draw her near to You as her heart soften before You.
Keep Xueyun, Caiyun, caihong, jingcai in Your safe arms.
For this is the only family members i have.
Thank You God, for the protection You have given to my family.
Your eyes ever watching over us.
Your hands ever guiding us.
Your strength ever uplifts us.
i look forward to the day my family can celebrate christmas together as a spiritual family too.
and many friends and church people can come together in the house for celebrations etc...
yeah! amen and it will be done!
In Jesus name.

God, guard my heart for it is the well spring of my life.
show me the things that will hinder me from You
that i can decide to let go of all the things.
i know it will be difficult but by Your grace, and power of Your love,
amen!

Ever let it be that i will praise Your name
at work, in class, talking with colleagues, with church friends, with family etc.

pray for some of my friends:
xiaodi, jason teo, peiyu, zhangting, paulin, alan, mei kuan, zhaotan, tsu jung, feng ping.

Thank You God for blessing me with so many friends.
amen!
God my heart hides You. Dwells there and be big in my heart! :)

V.S.B.I.B

2005-08-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

very short blog but impt blog

missed him
was reminded of him twice this week
first on mon, suddenly during the class still going on for hope sem
his face flashed vividly in my mind

then today as i was travelling mrt from airport to meet SQ for shepherding at city hall
( peiyu went to Uk with her husband today, sent her off at the airport. gonna miss this very jovial friend, come to think of it, got to know her through Jason...abt more than 1 year ago.)
i recalled the times i talked with him abt YOU, God
his face, his smiles, his sadness about his illness, his worries pouring out

now i rem,
today a kid in one of my class suddenly asked me: do i have a mother? yes i reply.
so i was thinking maybe she didnt have a mother, tt's why she asked me tt qtn,
so i asked her do u have a mother, and father...?
tt was when i told them i didnt have a father now.

the change caused me to love him more.
i used to hate him when i was younger about things i dun understand
but God taught me about true Love-Jesus' love for me
and got me learning about loving him
and kept learning about loving him until when i can only miss him now.
What amazing Love.

sup to be short, so tt's all i have to say.
Love your family while they can still see and be touched by your acts of love.

Oldie Christian Song

2005-08-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Song at Praise and worship Nite ( 190805)

Stand up for Jesus
George Duffield Jr. & George J. Webb 1858 Public Domain

Stand up, stand up for Jesus
Ye soldiers of the cross
Life high His royal banner
It must not suffer loss
From victory unto victory
His army shall He lead
Till every foe is vanquished
And Christ is Lord indeed

Stnad up, stand up for Jesus
The trumpet call obey
Forth to the mighty conflict
in this His glorious day.
Ye that are brave now serve Him
Against unnumbered foes
Let courage rise with danger
And strength to strength oppose

Stand up, Stand up for Jesus
Stand in His strength alone
the arm of flesh will fail you
Ye dare not trust your own
Put on the Gospel armor
Each piece put on with prayer
Where duty calls or danger
Be never wanting there

Standup, stand up for Jesus
The strife will not be long
This day the noise of battle
the next the victor's song
to those who vanquish evil
a crown of life shall be
They with the King of Glory
shall reign eternally

- end -

at the PnW nite, not many came.
even tho the people are not many, yet Holy Spirit nevertheless filled us much and strengthen us in our hearts and spirit.
the the start we sang a malay song, what a interesting way to worship God.
Worship is not bounded by human language.
Let our words in church, outside church, at home, at work, in interactions with friends, with fellow sis/bro, in formal or casual times be ever pleasing unto Him.
Coz You are always near us, and how can we forget that the grace You have given unto us.
God, i pray and hope at times, we had been careless about the words we spoke to people about You, or we use words that are not edifying to people, God, forgive us! By Your loving grace.
Teach us to be holy people for we are still W-I-P ( work in progress)
When we meet You, can we stand before You to meet and "hug" You
to say that we had run the race, fight the good fight, and keep the faith!

All the more, God be even stricter with me as a under leader of Your flock.
that as they see Jesus in my life, it will point them to the Light Jesus really is!

Thank YOu for been there, here now and promised to be there until i reach there.
:)
You are still the BEST! ever.

Jia wei's Birthday! and Unit CG!

2005-08-19T01:30:00.000-07:00

just came back from Boon Keng
today we had CG.
been long time since we laugh at each other.....a family that so crazy la! :P

First the election of Preidential Care Leader.
( Dennis, Kim, Rachel, Henry)
i liked the part about the "message from God"
hm...imagine i got one like tt, wow! what would God be writing on that note to me? hehe.. :)
* Church leaders are not appointed by men but God
*Authority is given as a blessing

Second the drawing by Debbie.
Sandy, Yi Cheng, Lawrence
( i see a hill, then a flat, then a rocket.....finally it's a lighthouse!)
the illustration of salt and light of the world.
*The church is a salt and light to the nation
*The church is a place of security

Third the the family scenario of parents and two childlike kids.
( Yuk Kuan, Lee, RuiZhi, Poy)
the mopping kid-Ruizhi
the spendthrift, going after new models hp kid-Poy
disciplinary parents-lee and yuk Kuan
*Every Christian should serve God fully
*Every Christian must follow God's will

Fourth, yeah ours.
tho we didnt win, but we had so much fun in discussing! what a laughter we had!
( Jingyu, Li Siong, Shi ming, CC)
somehow the flash came to my mind.
it was a touching story that i remembered until now. i remembered the first time i recd thru email ( which is long time ago), it spoke to me about carrying on, despite difficulties, tt time i almost let my feet slip and give up. i rem the flash story got me tearing because i was touched by its illustration of God's love for me.

God called the boy to carry the cross.
the boy went through storms- wind, rain, thunder, heat
the time to take up the cross is indeed tough going but God promised:and surely, I AM with you till the very end of age.
the boy persevered on and went on sharing the love of Christ to others.
*Every Christian must obey the Great Commission
*Every Christian is responsible to bring God's love to each nation

*- are some our philosophy of ministry

its time again to look into our spiritual family's values.
are those our values we hold in our heart?

God stay close with us, that we will stay close to You
Knitted closely as a family
You as the head of this CG, of this family
Jesus- You too will bring those who are out of this sheepfold
Longing to celebrate the day of all who come into this family! :)

... ...

Went to Boon Keng to give our brother, Jia wei a surprise!
to sing a birthday song for him,
to have a simple time of celebration with him
to laugh at each other
to pray for him
to bless his heart
to have a nite worth remembering
Because i saw love in this family
Kim, Rachel, poy, pei key, dennis, shi ming
who made their way to boon keng just to say: JW, Happy Belated Birthday!

... ...

all of us are like trees.
we need to take root.
the land - church is the place we take root.
Make a choice and decide.
then take root.
only then the tree can grow even more.

God let all of us like the eco system in the forest.
that we are all trees of different "sizes" some tall, some short, some are fruit trees, some are plants etc....
but in the same environment we are in,
we co-dependent on each other.
Let us be a family where we support one another.
the trees with wider canopy will help shelter the shorter trees...
the vines will cling onto the thick trunks.....
God, You will be the sun, ever there to give us Light and warmth.
to breath into us that we can get our nutrients.....
Without You, we will not be evergreen!

He's such a sweetheart! (smilez)

2005-08-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

ok..here will go again for a long blog ya...

hvnt been here for long time...
but i have been going to urs...( those whom u know i will go to your blogs...Happy bee, erikoler, draco_malfro...etc)
heh, Neoh, what's your blog?didnt know u also read my blog ya? :)

Reasons why i dun blog as frequent now,
busy lor!:P ( hai, "good" excuses.....)
using most time to think about kids in my classes.
now even their faces will surface after each day's class.
some i really feel for them.
their struggling faces for mother tongue.
haiz....what to do with them? i ask them qtn in mandarin, and they can answer me in english?!
aiyo, think need so much more time for them....wonder if they also ever concern about it? hm....

it has been blessed in a way for me....
ever since i started this contract teaching, i havnt had a full week of teaching yet.
there's always something going on in the week that i can have some sort of rest for my throat.

besides the crazy 4days MC, was followed by the gd 2 dys National day holiday.
then this week, for today and tmrw are PSLE oral so no classes.
ok, before u are already thinking : wah, so good so many holidays..."
teachers are still back to schools for duty.

hm...then teachers' day is coming, then children's day.....more holidays.
BUT also means more rushing work for me.
already way behind time schedule for the P4 syllabus....oh no! so part of my stress at sch comes from having too many holidays lor! :P haha.

pretty much a battle ground for me at sch.
coz i am a new solider, still trying out my "weapons" and getting used to the grounds.
but the experienced "soliders" are pretty much helpful and approachable. But they are also busy leh.....

its a training ground.
a discovery ground for my true character moulding.
over this week, so much things can just come at all directions at one time.
be it family issues which got me almost flare up ( or rather i had negative attitude- why the same qtns has to be raised up again and again, when it was earlier explained already?), the every morning tension before going school esp the p5 class ( its puzzling that over the days as i start work, my biological clock has to somehow wake me up at ard 2-3am, then to fall asleep again before getting up again at 530am- ok, when u read this, dun ask me why, its my body reactions. i want to sleep one, hey, its piggy here! but somwhow i can just wake up lor. m praying for myself too to Zzz well...., so PRAY for me ya!) :) tks!
and of course, the people in cg-all whom they have such a place in my heart that it kinda of stir within me if i know they have stg happening in their personal life too. of course, i dun carry these burdens la, so heavy, so i knew the best way is to bring to the Lord at His feet, then He will show and lead in me and in them!
the challenge is when all comes at the same time, the Lord's strength is all i seek!
Praises to Him is where i can find my source of hope and tower fo refuge.

okok...back to what i really want to say here. opps....the chong hei ness is always "bugging" me ya!

He's such a sweet heart.
guess what he did to me.
one of these past days, i knew i had to get myself back in shape by exercising not to slim down but to get a more healthier body so that i can serve better.
so as i look at my weekly schedule, the thought of giving up my guitar lessons on sat morning would be a pretty much the best option so far...hm.
then the next day, a fellow colleague told me that i am allocated to basketball as my CCA.
and it'll be killing two birds with one stone. to have CCA and exercising. Wah!
went on wed for the first session, it's great time talking to the kids. They are so CUTE! and talk so much! haha.

then, was having shepherding with Siew Qin, and telling her how much i wan to have more time with Him daily. the need to be spirit controlled in each new day....everytime i had to squezzed time in the morning to quieten my heart and mind...
today. i met a new teacher. was on the same duty for the PSLE oralexam, and she gave me a daily bread booklet. Wow! i am so thankful! He really knows. God-divine timing- people called"coincidental" i havnt owned a daily bread booklet for so long and she even offered to give me a chinese version one, but i know myself, so i told her a english one will do. haha.

who else would have know me better?
on earth, would anyone else know a person's mind and heart to such delicate touch and depth?
He's such a sweetheart!
Jesus, the lover of my soul!

Rainbow

Hokkaido Japan

Thought

A milestone- miracle

Southern Ridge_28thJune2008

Human Bowling - FUN!

Some more pictures of camp 2008

Actsperience GOD Adults Church camp 2008

Testimony of my colleague's conversion!

Thanksgiving!!

When we try ...

At the foot of the Cross

Old friend

Little thots and inspirations

Trust in the Lord (school)

Catching up....

Prayers comes with actions.

圣诞之语 - 两则

My First Marathon- GROE(3rd Dec 06)

Your Promises wont let go of me.

House of The Lord-vision

Thanksgiving, Receiving joy from Him.

Life Purpose Statement

just one pic-Poy and me.Courage!

God's wonderful gift to me! Part Two (CC)

God's wonderful gift to me! Part One (Poy)

towards AHM

Resilience...Still...about Him.

Kawan Go Melaka

My kids P2-2

My kids - PPS Pri 2-2

God's GRACE

Mum's birthday!

Xiao Di Special Day!

Why/Joyce/Alan

Chair

Bridges

Intercessory Retreat 25th Mar 06

Intercessory Retreat 25th Mar 06

思念是一种很炫的东西

Birthday Part Two

心 语

Heart Language

Dont Know What to Say.

Beliefs, Values, Time-School's Contact time

Thoughts of the Moments

2nd thoughts

friend who has impacted me

Christmas 2005 marina views

Christmas 2005

Everything will soon be over.

God is God, man is man

1 Cor 2:9-10

2 special songs

Frank&Melanie

TAGGED...here i go again.

its his day.

An unexpected LETTER

Seoul(Korea) Nice pics

Jogging...Life thoughts.

msn with my kids

a BIG family in a small world

my 5-4 class

Who is Christ to NG5B2?

The Promise-Russell Nagy

LC 2005 ( Part two)

LC 2005 (Part one)

Memories of my P4 students

Decision

Dragon Gate Restaurant!!

Saturday JOG. Finally

Xin's Wedding

Through it ALL.

Praise is wonderful! down and up.

2nd breakthrough-TAXI

Breakthrough this month!

Bright Moon!

what a week at school! Part Two

what a week at school! Part One

Contentment

心语