Rainbow

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Resilience...Still...about Him.

Genesis
why in the list of names, " ... lived...." and "...walked with God..."
eg: (NIV) Gen5:23 "altogether, Enoch lived 365 years,....", Gen 5:22 "Enoch walked with God 300 years..."

the phrase "walked with God" replaces the word "lived" in other paragraphs. this reminds that there is a difference between walking with God and merely living.
with reference to "NIV study bible" - Zondervan

Personal reflections-
Lived 26+years....( including my months in my mother's womb)
Psa 139:13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb, i praise YOu because i am fearfully and wonderfully made."

from young till this season of my life, He watched over me. how great is His faithfulness.
Psa 121:1-8 "...The Lord will watch over your coming and going, both now and forever..."

Father, at this season of my life, i give thanks. i chose to praise You. i chose to live on with what You gave and promised to give. in peaks, YOu are there. in valleys, You promised comfort. what a privilege to be with You.
many times, i asked, "Lord, is this what You want? why cant i see the way You see? why do these things happening"....
STILL...only when stillness of the heart then can i hear You.
but they have not heard You. how?
Pray. Pray for their hearts. Pray for them.
You mean this is the only thing i can do?
Yes, my dear. When you start thinking you can do more to achieve something on your own efforts, you have forgotten, "I AM".
why cant they see You, have they forgotten all they knew abt You?
my child, be patient. Just as I AM patient with you, be patient with them.
dont give up, till you see what I want to bring you to experience.
is it something that i have not been faithful?
my daughter, just be faithful with what it is now. Let go, ask and I will forgive. remember, I AM in control, I will watch over, never a second was I in slumber.
okok, YOU win, and You will always do. Because You are the ONly One. For who can ever be above You. For Your thoughts are always higher than my tiny thoughts, Your ways are always higher than my ways.

Father, i commit to You myself again to You. Let not what is the circumstances be a wall i imagined it to be that i forgot to look up to You. even the things around tell me "nope, its not going to be any better"...i hold on to You. " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according yo His purpose. Rom 8:28" Even my own heart feels the hurt, i hold on to You."Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal 6:9" God, be with me.in Jesus Name, amen.

how true of what Vivian shared on SubD Familia time, that even as we planned to finish reading the bible once through in one year, God looks at what we have learnt during those moments. no point in sounding or looking spiritual, but to live a spiritual life, only pleasing to the eyes of One Audience, Jesus!
Lord, guide me to do just as it is. because i want to be able to recognise Jesus when i meet You, and be received by You too. that even carryign the cross is sometimes, heavy burden with storms and rains...i know Jesus, the joy of salvation You gave is my strength. i want to be able to tell You that: i have done my best to what i can. i want to b able to see all my family and friends there in the perfect place, forever with You.

Lord, thank You for that day. i saw another part of him. never i saw before, yet in my heart, i rejoice. wonder why? but it goes to show we are open enough to really show one another what's truely in us. he thought his words were in anger, yet i did not recd that way, just sad. first tears. yet i wonder how quickly we talked over it. Lord, it is You. only You. because You stood in with us, our love for You has gone deeper. what was seemingly "bad" turn out to be an experience of deeper love for You. amazing! Jesus, be with us and guide us through. this is another season of life that i go into with faith, certain of what i do not see and sure of what i hope for.

Lord, why did i "suddenly" rem my dad again? especially this two days.
perhaps because 30th was his conversion date.
i think its perfectly ok to miss someone. some feelings come, sadness, memories, and happy moments. just that i need to guard my feelings and thoughts that they wont affect me too much in what i am living now. no point in living in the past.
i took a moment yestnight, i stood at the window at the kitchen where i would always rem my dad there. i had a "little conversation" with Lord and hopefully my dad is there to hear. To "update" my dad abt what's happening to my life and family, only perhaps he would be glad to hear too, that we are well taken care of. hopefully my dad isnt going "somewhere else for his heavenly play, that he forgot abt us...sometimes, i thought, he is in a better place than us. anyway, soon we will be with him...whaaa.

NIE.
a place of toil and a place of hope.
toil: so many assignments and Exams....now i understand again the stress level fo exams...
so packed the timetable...even to late evening like 730pm...
hope: so many new friends i get to know. i hope to bring them joy of the Lord, in this toiling place. i hope to shine as salt and light to this place.
ONly Lord, by Your grace, always help me to keep my focus right. nto to be so stress by work that i for got to be Your messager of Hope. amen!
i pray for Shiy, Liuy, Sdyn, KangB, LingZ, and her friend, Grac, TianJ, and Apri who gone back to contract teaching... are there more? show me and let me see. :)
Thank You Lord.

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