Why/Joyce/Alan

Joyce and Alan's BD.
Kim got a surprise party for Joyce,
cooked mi fen, curry chicken, popiah etc...yum yum.
can see joyce is very touched.
a interesting gal.
hope to get to know her more.
was late, became another "surprise" for her...haha. :P
good time with Kim, sandy, Shawn, Joyce at Kim's place.

then got a sms from BK, she also preparing surprise BD party for alan...
hee.
went to his blk late, missed a bus stop, walked a deserted road.
it was a "terrible feeling" walking alone along that road.
saw them standing at the balcony, so near yet so far.
the vulnerability, or so i thought i was "strong".
went teh at usu Jalan Kayu, with GR, Alan, Poy, Ernie.
it was interesting to know Ernie.
a friend, whom somehow reminded me of someone i used to know, but now i cant rem exactly who. :P

why am i so blur!? hai. not once, but so many times. not affecting just myself, sometimes, unto others. :( it hurts, because it affects others.

got this song fr Vivian.
it was a song, sounded i heard it before...
anyway, it was a nice song.

Artist: Nicole Nordeman
Song: Why

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddyHe said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cries
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?
My precious sonI hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hourI must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die
-end-


Jesus, when You wore that crown of thorns, i wonder, how can You bear that, not to even mention the nails pierced into Your hands.
i rem SM mentioned before in CG, stg he shared in a small group: "sometimes, why not i be wronged?..."
it was enriching thought, that even Jesus, He was "wronged" as "blaspheming" to be called the "son of God" when He truly is the Messiah.

Jesus, how did You ever bear that?
i wonder...
and it make my heart tear for You.
precious lover of my soul
over years, i may have taken for granted
for all that You have done for me.
many times, i have disappointed You
and i always say: i will not do it again.
but yet...my heart and my strength
they always fail
By Your grace.
You gave me second chance.
last sunday, even before Ps Ben shared the word,
i heard You saying,
My gal, like I told the criminal on that day I was hanged there up on the cross, I say the same to you, : "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise" ( refer Luke 23:42-43)
(during the praise and worship time)
Jesus, i knew why You had to die.
You gave me this second chance.
to take my sins upon Your shoulders,
and to bring me to Father's lap once again,
like a little child,
yearning for that love.

Jesus.

somehow while i was saving the song "Why" into my song folder,
i saw another song.
this touched me too.
Collin Raye - Love me.
"If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be...."
these words has some special meaning to me.

Jesus.
I need You to be with me.
That i will walk Your way.
in every step i take.
in every word i say.

Jesus,
remember me.
(Luke 23:42)