what a week at school! Part Two

SECONDLY, if anyone of u can recall i ever mention that there's one class that i always "struggle" in going to teach in their lesson.

this time, things got "worse"
they are having their composition exams tt day, so they had to change seats.
before i went into the class, somehow i knew they would change their seats to the places they like to sit instead of the allocated ones.
perhaps they knew i am a teacher they can "bully" and i wont insist on them sitting back to their original places.
as expected, befoe i went in, they are already in their "market place" NOISE, more NOISE!
oh no...!!
i decided to keep my "cool" and stand outside the class and told them they have to sit back their original seats before i go in, so i stood outside the class until they move.

NO ONE MOVED. they continued making noises. i was filled with anger. really. anger in the snese how come these children dont listen.
i had it, so i told them again, i am giving them two minutes and if not, i will go and find the discipline master. (proved to be "powerful" teacher whom everyone is afraid of him).
NO ONE MOVED.
i walked away, towards the staricase , then i "regretted". in my heart during tt time, i thought: " why did i say tt? now i really dun know where to find the teacher? and i cant possibly leave the class like tt and go around the school to find the disciplne master."
so i took my time, and decided to walk back.
saw some students actually followed me out.
i told two gals, that before i step into the class i want to see them back to their respective seats.

they DID.
then i started to do some work with them.
it was really short term. They simply ignored me and played and talked and do whatever they like to do...a total chaos.
NO one was listening. except a few who genuinely want to listen.
i lokoed at the class.
i felt so lost. very lost. i really do not know what to do.
i didnt want to shout at them anymore.
i dont want to be angry anymore.
i just simply lost at what i can do, say.
then a teacher from next door came.
i turn and saw her, she asked: " what happen?"
i walked towards her at the door, and said stg like tt:" i dont know what to do..."
then tears rolled out.i walked outside the class. i cant face this class.
the teacher then went in and scolded the class. she told them to stand up.
i stood outside the classroom, tearing, was so sad and lost. from there, i could only hear the teacher scolding the students.

it took about 5mins, but while i was there outside, i was thinking a lot.

the teacher told me not to go in class but to ask another teacher to come in to relief.
in my heart, i still want these students, i thought by going away, it felt to me like abandoning them. so i told her i will go in.
she told me to sit and do nothing in the class and just make them stand throughout the lesson time.
i went in, but i decided to stand with them. i somehow felt it was right to do so. as a teacher, i do what i say, i will stand with them until they realise their wrong attitude.

a long time we stood "together". it was also a time for me to "cool down".
in my heart, i look around in everyone of them, i said prayers for them. i just dont know what else i can do at tt time.
i was not angry at them, but i felt sad and lost.
i didt sense that they were repentful, they still whisper and tried talking and making fun of one another etc...

God, protect these little children. let them grow up in a healthy environment where they can be brought up with right values and attitudes.
What a responsibility teachers have.

class over, i just took my bag and walked off.

i thought it was over.

then after school, the level head teacher actually took some of them into the staff room and asked them to apologise to me.
hm...staff room usu very quiet, any scolding in the staff room, would mean news for all the teachers....
hm...the whole chinese department now knows about this....hai....i have become "well-known" in tt sense.
with their apology, i knew it was not what i look for, it was about thier changed of heart and attitude towards their teachers, the kind of respect they should carry with them.
but sad to say...i did nt sense it from them.
was thankful it is friday.
at least i did not need to face them the following day.

Mon.
before i went in, i prayed for myslef to keep cool, i dont want to scold them anymore.
i went in, could sense a bit of strange atmosphere ard the room. that kind of awkwardness.
anyway, i decided to continue as per normal.
then a few gals passsed me some little papers.
it was notes of "sorry" and one even said: "dont worry be happy" :)
then the monitress and monitor came up front, and got the whole class aplogise to me.
actually i was touched. could feel the tears coming out again. yet i withdrew. :)
i took the time to share with them what i value would be their change of attitude, not on their apology, tho their expressions and words do mean cahnge of heart.
i felt it brought me and the class closer.
somehow it broke the awkwardness, the strangeness.

perhaps this is the last chance i can touch their hearts.
next week they are having exams and wont be meeting them, and soon it'll be holidays.
God, i pray for everyone of them to be touched by You, embrace them into YOur love and peace.
i know each of them has his/her own family situations and who they are now can be due to a lot of factors, God pray that somehow, this small episode will remind them of me, and in time to come, use me to touch their lives again.

(min yee, liqin, jia ling, wei geng, zirui, zhicong, valerie, wenhao, jiahong, zhi yang, eeling, junhao, zipeng, junyuan, huimin, xuehui, shaowei, jingwen, mingya, huiwen, yijie, weiwen, hong jun, zhengyi, siling, weiren, siqi, xun hu, jia en, caiyao)

i thank YOu.
even during the time , i saw a few touched moments.
WG told me he can give away some cards to me to "lure" the nosiy ones to quieten down. i was touched.
JY tried to shout for me to ask the class to quiet down. i was touched.

what a moment!
i would def remember this episode.
it was truly deep impression and showed a great deal about the challenge about teaching the kids in schools....