what a day! *:)

its the 5th day!!!
"kept" inside house for 5 whole days, just imagine.

now the contd of Jonah....

i thought it would be over
soon over
until YOu said "No."
i asked:"Why? i thought i know enough already. i thought i saw what You wanted to show. i thought that is enough already...i thought..."
inside of heart,
"Why? what is it?.."
i dont see it.
why dont You speak?

but then again...
heart was not still.
not still enough to hear,
even You speak,
i may not hear.

eyes are physically impaired.
but never let it be for my spiritual eyes.

deep down,
the waves of turbulence
my own thoughts and voices around me
has lost sight of Him
of who He really is
of His intent of what is going on

here i am
i give my heart to You once more
i turn my thoughts to You once more
i want to see You, really
its quite a struggle not able to hear You
You show me Your ways
i give up my "right" to be angry
( like Jonah)

"Is it right for you to be angry about this?" Jonah 4:4

sorry.
for my wilful ways.
i took it into my hands.
i had wanted it my way

"Holy Spirit, touch me from above
Holy Spirit fill me with Your love
Holy Spirit, move upon my life
Holy Spirit stirs me inside

i yield to You
Spirit of the Lord
do Your work in me
i yield to You
Spirit of the Lord
do Your work in me" (song)

Thank You, ever so tenderly loving
i rejoice for this rebuke
for it made me know
You loved me so much
enough to let me know
enough to let me go through another 2 days
enough to show me despite i was "angry"
enough patience with me to whisper to me

Father, pray that my heart will continuosly yield to You
as i walk on, i know there will be more times i "can" be angry
maybe i would, for i am not perfect
but let me be quick to be still
still to hear Your voice.
to be rebuked so that i can change.
Thank You for all that You have done.

what a day! ... ...

its also a day that i finished my journal book...one that i had with me for the past years....
going to get a new one, a thick one, that i can start another book again....
hm, how many i had since i start journaling...cant remember. :p