Praise is wonderful! down and up.

marking exams...been at it for HOURS liao...still doing...hai. :(
yet i am still awake at this wee hours...want to sleep but so many things in mind now.

decided to pick a CD and play some praise and worship song.
sw Don Moen, my "fav" "idol lo...hahaa...
every song just came so touching, yes even the praise songs!
it just lifted every heavy burden in my heart.

1) Praise looks good on You
2) i offer up my life
3)Be magnified
4) God will make a way
5) God is the strength of my heart
Out of the 12 songs, these 5 means a lot more now....:) wonderful! such songs just so touching that can bring tears one lo!

how true is it when God says in His words, Sing praises to Him, "sit back" and watch what He can do! in the example of wall of Jericho, Joshua 6.

how true it is too, the power of encouragements at His time!
recd a email from Ling ling days ago, ( hee, din reply her tho) then today she gave me another sms, just to ask how i am. its msgs like these to know and encouraged that people care. thank you, girl.
recd another from paulin, been weeks not in contact with her. already date and book her once she fin her busy schedule...so blessed to have such a friend who been blessing me with msgs now and then.
recd another thoughtful act from poy, offering timely help when i needed which i din expect. heehee. thanks lots, but had to reject coz ... ...

many faces in my mind now.
i want to trust in You.
behind every rain, there's always sunshine.
i know You will remember every tear in my heart.
i know You are here with me and all the dear people whom You love so much.
Bring us close to You.
let not the enemy triumph.
let us not fall into his schemes.
Protect us with Your truth!
Hallelujah! Praise te Lord!
Good nite, God.
Longing to greet You again, good morning!

alrite, back to my marking now... ... :P

2nd breakthrough-TAXI

here's one more to share!!
so so excited to share with you al.
jus yest, we had such a powerful flow of the Holy Spirit in our midst in YWCA during the Praise and worship time! m sure those who are there will agree, Amen!!!!
As all 4 testimonies are shared by kengsuan, siew choo, eddy, pei key)and the Word of God shared by vivian and teck keong, i believe the Holy Spirit had done the conviction of our hearts yest nite! PTL!
even, personally, i m encouraged to keep on seeking Him and asking and greater things in my life!. :) Faith-takes action!

anyway, rem Teck Keong was sharing about his TAXI endeavour?!

i beleive there's a God-timing as to hearing his sharing yesterday.

guess what, the "kangsters" ( Poy, Rach, ANgela, myself) took a taxi home after dinner, ard 12+am...
we were talking and sharing about church etc....the fellowship we just had etc...in the taxi. :)
as angela was carrying many things, so rach offered to send her up to her floor. and somehow almost quite immediately, as anglega felt "pai seh" to do tt, rach and myself told her to give us "chance" to share with the taxi driver.Becuase of what we just heard from Teck koeng abt his testimony.

so rach and angela went up...i was in the taxi waiting downstairs.
i thought, since we said we want to take the chance to talk with th etaxi driver, i "might as well" start talking.
so i ask him :" do u know the roads well here?" e, i cant think of better qtns liao....
then we started talking....a bit. just mins, rach came down.
off we headed to rach's home.
then, to my house. but somehow, the taxi driver started talking to me again, he ask if we are back from office etc...i said no, but we came from a church meeting. so it striked a GOOD start....
found out he read e bible before, he was searching last time. He had some fam things, and a pastor came to pray for his fam, his two sisters converted then. etc....WOW!!!!
(funny thing is i was quite focused in sharing with him, that i , two times, din give him directions in time for turns such that he got to reverse taxi , thank God, no cars ard tt time...:P )
and even as we had already reach my home, we talked for quite a while in the taxi. i can see his sincerity in finding out more. coz to taxi drivers, time is money, they would want to drop the passenger and quickly go for another trip etc...but he actually allow me to spend tt time with him. i gave him my no. and he even ask if there's chinese speaking svc, and said he would like to bring his father there. WOw, what opportunity!! :)

from this small episode, i saw God-timing.
if i had not been to YWCA, hearing the testimony, taking taxi would had been a "normal" thing to me. by this, we were "more aware" about seizing every opporunity even in taking taxi, to let people know, God loves them!!

now i pray that he will really get contact with me...and i can speak my "half pail water" chinse with his father and bring him to te madarin svc!! amen!
God, U are wonderful, and Your grace still amazes me!
amen!!

Breakthrough this month!

Today.
i just shared to my mum about my dad's conversion.
a testimony i withheld for about 4+mths now.....

i didnt shared right after my dad's funeral coz i thought they were not be in the "right" mind and heart and feeligns to hear those things..so i waited.
yet as days passed, this had never gone out of my heart and mind.
i had always want to seize the opportunity to tell them.

until stg that still stuck in my heart is what Ps Jeff shared during Sunday's leadership meetings.
nothing is more urgent now than to share about the good news and to bring those loved ones to God. yes, indeed.
What is important? there are many out there outside this family whom had not tasted the goodness of God, let's be diligent!
it would be foolish to let satan have a stronghold on us as a family, though i agree the spiritual affairs are as important, and spending so much energy and time to "fight" within this Body, yet "taking away" the time and energy which we could have spend on those who are lost out there. God, let's be united in this Body, God be in control, whatever it is, God's love be the centre of all that we do and say.
(personal heart and feelings)

Thank You, God.

Forgive us if we do anything against you.
Give us YOur word to guide us.
Pray for unity in this Family.
Let us LOVE one another.

So excited to share my joy with people, sms a few people.....
i know some are excited together with me.
Thank you all of you, for being with me all these while.
i remember each moments. really, each moment of time u all being there with my dad's last journey of his new begining, i treasure them very much. i am grateful that i had u all with me.

(how are you? i thought u will be joyful together with me, but from your sms i feel not.)
God, protect her in Your comfort Hands, and let the joy of salvation overflow!

yes! God's hands is already moving.
Dont miss His hand! Catch His voice!
He will speak: "yes, go! touch his/her life, I AM using you"
then we got to act, and not procrastinate.
God's will be done, yet not mine.

praying for my mum's salvation and family's

guess what, i "secretly" discover one of my siblings reading Rick Warren "Purpose Driven Life"
WOW!!!!
m just so excited about what God is going to do in my family!
Just keep Praying, keep believing!

Bright Moon!

hee...this tues till Fri, PSLE marking.
thought gonna have a good break, the teachers are out marking the papers.
a few of us had to stay in sch.

then found out we had to help out with the P1 Registration.
hee, no holidays lo.

anyway awoke with so much tiredness.
even tho i thought i had rested enough from mon.
but the sunday's "nightmare" still hovering....
(so stressful marking the composition esp when i am the first marker)

somehow was up at 5am.looked out, saw a bright big moon.it hangs directly at me.( outside my hse' window)
sms a few to share this.
then came one sms reply with an amazing perfect timing of the words: He wants me to have a full life.
God, how ever accurate timing YOu cn give.
i needed Your assurance today.
Thank You.
Your grace still amazes me.

:)

what a week at school! Part Two

SECONDLY, if anyone of u can recall i ever mention that there's one class that i always "struggle" in going to teach in their lesson.

this time, things got "worse"
they are having their composition exams tt day, so they had to change seats.
before i went into the class, somehow i knew they would change their seats to the places they like to sit instead of the allocated ones.
perhaps they knew i am a teacher they can "bully" and i wont insist on them sitting back to their original places.
as expected, befoe i went in, they are already in their "market place" NOISE, more NOISE!
oh no...!!
i decided to keep my "cool" and stand outside the class and told them they have to sit back their original seats before i go in, so i stood outside the class until they move.

NO ONE MOVED. they continued making noises. i was filled with anger. really. anger in the snese how come these children dont listen.
i had it, so i told them again, i am giving them two minutes and if not, i will go and find the discipline master. (proved to be "powerful" teacher whom everyone is afraid of him).
NO ONE MOVED.
i walked away, towards the staricase , then i "regretted". in my heart during tt time, i thought: " why did i say tt? now i really dun know where to find the teacher? and i cant possibly leave the class like tt and go around the school to find the disciplne master."
so i took my time, and decided to walk back.
saw some students actually followed me out.
i told two gals, that before i step into the class i want to see them back to their respective seats.

they DID.
then i started to do some work with them.
it was really short term. They simply ignored me and played and talked and do whatever they like to do...a total chaos.
NO one was listening. except a few who genuinely want to listen.
i lokoed at the class.
i felt so lost. very lost. i really do not know what to do.
i didnt want to shout at them anymore.
i dont want to be angry anymore.
i just simply lost at what i can do, say.
then a teacher from next door came.
i turn and saw her, she asked: " what happen?"
i walked towards her at the door, and said stg like tt:" i dont know what to do..."
then tears rolled out.i walked outside the class. i cant face this class.
the teacher then went in and scolded the class. she told them to stand up.
i stood outside the classroom, tearing, was so sad and lost. from there, i could only hear the teacher scolding the students.

it took about 5mins, but while i was there outside, i was thinking a lot.

the teacher told me not to go in class but to ask another teacher to come in to relief.
in my heart, i still want these students, i thought by going away, it felt to me like abandoning them. so i told her i will go in.
she told me to sit and do nothing in the class and just make them stand throughout the lesson time.
i went in, but i decided to stand with them. i somehow felt it was right to do so. as a teacher, i do what i say, i will stand with them until they realise their wrong attitude.

a long time we stood "together". it was also a time for me to "cool down".
in my heart, i look around in everyone of them, i said prayers for them. i just dont know what else i can do at tt time.
i was not angry at them, but i felt sad and lost.
i didt sense that they were repentful, they still whisper and tried talking and making fun of one another etc...

God, protect these little children. let them grow up in a healthy environment where they can be brought up with right values and attitudes.
What a responsibility teachers have.

class over, i just took my bag and walked off.

i thought it was over.

then after school, the level head teacher actually took some of them into the staff room and asked them to apologise to me.
hm...staff room usu very quiet, any scolding in the staff room, would mean news for all the teachers....
hm...the whole chinese department now knows about this....hai....i have become "well-known" in tt sense.
with their apology, i knew it was not what i look for, it was about thier changed of heart and attitude towards their teachers, the kind of respect they should carry with them.
but sad to say...i did nt sense it from them.
was thankful it is friday.
at least i did not need to face them the following day.

Mon.
before i went in, i prayed for myslef to keep cool, i dont want to scold them anymore.
i went in, could sense a bit of strange atmosphere ard the room. that kind of awkwardness.
anyway, i decided to continue as per normal.
then a few gals passsed me some little papers.
it was notes of "sorry" and one even said: "dont worry be happy" :)
then the monitress and monitor came up front, and got the whole class aplogise to me.
actually i was touched. could feel the tears coming out again. yet i withdrew. :)
i took the time to share with them what i value would be their change of attitude, not on their apology, tho their expressions and words do mean cahnge of heart.
i felt it brought me and the class closer.
somehow it broke the awkwardness, the strangeness.

perhaps this is the last chance i can touch their hearts.
next week they are having exams and wont be meeting them, and soon it'll be holidays.
God, i pray for everyone of them to be touched by You, embrace them into YOur love and peace.
i know each of them has his/her own family situations and who they are now can be due to a lot of factors, God pray that somehow, this small episode will remind them of me, and in time to come, use me to touch their lives again.

(min yee, liqin, jia ling, wei geng, zirui, zhicong, valerie, wenhao, jiahong, zhi yang, eeling, junhao, zipeng, junyuan, huimin, xuehui, shaowei, jingwen, mingya, huiwen, yijie, weiwen, hong jun, zhengyi, siling, weiren, siqi, xun hu, jia en, caiyao)

i thank YOu.
even during the time , i saw a few touched moments.
WG told me he can give away some cards to me to "lure" the nosiy ones to quieten down. i was touched.
JY tried to shout for me to ask the class to quiet down. i was touched.

what a moment!
i would def remember this episode.
it was truly deep impression and showed a great deal about the challenge about teaching the kids in schools....

what a week at school! Part One

(was a uphill week at school...here's what happened...) :)

FIRSTLY, over the last week, had my first hand on Oral exam for the students....
all i got from the teachers was some instructions on how to grade them.
there i went, thinking i could just rely on the sheet of grading checklist.

it was no fun! a continuos examining of over 30+ students.
Hearing the same passage being read, the similar description of the pictures....
and at times, i was almost "nodding off" to Zzzz coz the oral took place in the afternoon.

anyway, i thought this is it. finally over.
then i was called to HOD (head of department) room for a talk from my HOD.
wo, i realised another fellow teacher had told my HOD that my grading is too strict.
i had marked the students down by more than their ususal standard.
in my heart, i was disappointed. and sad.
i thought i did my best, to what i can.
yet not to what is expected.
it became an issue. i had to deal with it.
went to class to look for the students,m trying my best to recognise the students' faces so that i can recall how i garde them on the oral day.
phew, i admit my poor memory, and i could not remember, prob only 10% of how the oral exam goes...
stress....how to tell my HOD??!!
Learnt that next time, i should include my comments during the oral so that there's a reference.
but my HOD was kind and encouraging. Hee, prob she saw through my stressful face!
after a week's ordeal, "ding dong" ing etc, it was settled! hai...
what a lesson to learn!
But i thank God.
it tested on my heart, and composure in dealing with such things.

Contentment

Found this article interesting ...spoke to my heart abt stg.
so here's this blog to constantly remind myself.

Content. The root of the word means "contained." Dr. Warren Wiersbe says it describes a "man whose resources are within him so that he does not have to depend on substitutes without." It's the portrait of a person who withstands the blows of life by drawing upon what's inside. New Agers would applaud such a statement, but the truth is that only God supplies such internal resources. God in us provides more than an adequate supply of spiritual strength.

Philippians is a book penned by a man buffeted by life's bad weather, but yet a man with a contented heart. Eugene Peterson calls the epistle "infectiously happy." "Before we've read a dozen lines, we begin to feel the joy ourselves – the dance of words and the exclamations of delight have a way of getting inside us." Joy spills from Paul's pen across the pages of his letter; it's drenched with obvious contentment and confidence. Perhaps Paul was just one of those annoying people who actually wakes up when the alarm goes off. Instead of stumbling in and out of the shower, maybe he had his day half planned before the water ever got hot. It's possible he whistled while preparing breakfast and then finished a few household tasks before strolling off to work.

Learning to Be JoyfulHis personality could have been a factor, but Paul makes it clear that he didn't come by contentment and joy strictly through genetics. He learned it, and he learned it the hard way: "... for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11). His list of circumstances stacks up against anybody's claim to hardship: he'd been imprisoned, flogged, exposed, beaten with rods, stoned until nearly dead, and shipwrecked three times. Everywhere he went – city, country, open seas – he was in danger. His enemies included bandits, his own countrymen, Gentiles, and false brothers. He had gone without food and water; he had known cold and nakedness. Oh, and one more thing – he was probably single.

Paul took life's tests and aced them. Adversities became the objects of growth that God intended them to be. How could he so happily endure such hardship? Near the end of Philippians, Paul reveals that he had learned the "secret of being content in any and every situation" (4:12). The cheat sheet for the secret is found throughout his writings. Paul knew above all else that God was sovereign. God was in control. When the ship became floating debris or dear coworkers forsook the gospel, God had a plan. Secondly, Paul had confidence that God was sufficient. He trusted God's ability to work His plan. God's power in Paul was more than enough to handle any circumstance. "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (4:13). The secret of contentment, then, begins with acknowledging that God is sovereign and that God is sufficient. The secret is sealed, however, when experience proves it true.

Departure

went to send sandy's japanese fren, yumiko off at the airport on Fri nite.

while everyone was near the gate, looking on a fren who's leaving.....
i somehow took few steps back.
i look up, saw big words: DEPARTURE

something came to my mind.
i know it gonna be from You.
but i cant figure the last letter.....stg that goes along the meaning of "called for" or "destined"...
hm....:) but i know i got the rest of the letters already.
turned around and asked sandy, kim for the the word.
they din know tt time what or why i asked.

then i got it!!
D.E.P.A.R.T.U.R.E
Doing Eternal Planting Across Regions That You Are Entrusted!
Thank You God!

Finally today get to meet up with Da jianming.
asked him about the mission ideas i emailed to him.
he sounded positive.
maybe things will work out from there.
God, show me Your ways.
Amen.

God's Beloved child-Kim

One:
Meeting Kim on fri. was late coz meeting SQ before tt.
think she was tired.
i ask God to strengthen her during my train ride to kallang to meet her.
a thought came.
get her fruit juice and some snack food.

came out mrt, walked towards the provision shop to get those things.
called her at the same time to find out where she is.
she answered.
she was just behind me, in the same train as me.

she came over,i told her i want to get some things, din tell her what i wanted to get.
she suddenly said she feel like drinking fruit juice.
WOW!!
God, i am so touched by Your sweet love for her.
it has to be You.
You just wanted to show YOur love for her.
how can a man know the mind of another?
it is indeed You, for i can recognise Your voice when u "whisper" to me during the train ride.
Thank You.
God, You are so good!

Two:
today, after all the meetings at church.
GR< Da JM, TK, SY, KS wanted to go watch show.
hmph, i also WANT TO GO!!!! :P but i cant lo, got lots stuff to do. hai. :(
had been rejecting a lot of outings/tea times this few days etc ...
how nice to sit down, drink coffee, and catch up with people.....
how nice to just have the leisure time to watch a show, to do something i enjoy...
hope soon it'll be over.
it'll be tiring this month, many things going on now, but i want to rely on You, i want to do it together with You.
i want to see breakthroughs!
e...chong hei...hai. :P

a thought came.
call kim, she might want to join them for movie.
caled her, she sounded surprised.
i ask her whether she wants to watch movie with them...
she had actually wanted to.
WOW!!!
it had to be You, GOd.
who can know the mind of another?!
Thank You God,
You loved Kim so much.
to bless her in things like these.
Thank You for working through me, that i can also enjoy this blessing to know and experience Your love for her.
Lord, contd to bless her life.
Lead her to greater heights.

(this is a testimony of God's love i see He showed towards kim. God, so sweet leh.)

Jus prayer.

"Father, i pray that today for all of us in this caregroup will be united as one. i stand before You for all of us that You will move Your sovereign Hand in our lives, forgive us if we had sin against You,if we had been made You too small in our lives, by Your grace,letting our hearts be drawn so much closer to You, and committing our lives to You.Father as each face is a child of Yours, and i know Your heart goes all out for each one of them, You truly love us unconditionally. Today, You lead us to build us up as a community of commitment to You. No one will feel lost nor left out. Father there are still many who are not in this pic, God pray that You will protect them too. Pray that we will love each other as You loved us, and keeping a spirit of unity within this family. We will be a generation that makes a difference out in this world, a group that has Jesus as the centre, the Head of this body! We will be a pioneer group that shows ourselves as a holy sacrifice unto You, a strong tower that is built on the foundation of the word of God. Father, when we are weak, give us strength. When we are stress, give us Your peace. When we are drained out, grant us joy. That we will be there for one another, encouraging and supporting each other even we are going to get ready to march out as a victorious army for You. Let nothing on this world distract us from You but we will persevere on to meet You and to rejoice, for the Lord is with us! For we are called at this time to be a group that is fitted together perfectly, as Jesus leads us, so that we can always be growing, healthy and full of love. Amen! and yes, Amen!! Father, i commit Shiming, sandy, kim, peilin, june, yi cheng, poy, jia wei, lawrence, mingzhu, dennis, rachel, guangrong,lee, ling ling, jane, lyndi, guoliang, meijuan, myself into Your hands. Lord, i ask for Your voice to speak powerfully in to our hearts, that we will always be transforming to Christ-likeness. i want to believe in faith. i want to see You, not our own sight. not us, but You! not abiliy, but Holy Spirit's working through. there will be more into this family, coz its Your Hand! God, thank You for being with us in this breakthrough that we are going to have, look forward for many challenges You will give to us as we consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds for that we will develop perseverance , character and hope! We will do only what we hear from You! God, Thank You! in Jesus name, amen! "

(just wanted to paste this pic, to remember of God's goodness. He has brought many into our group. each is precious. just wanted to keep us in His hands by this prayer so that i can remember this day, God has called us to be intercessors for the lives in this family, and many more lives that is to come into Light. learnt about persistent prayer today during UDMM with GR< Cryst, Den, Kim,PK. so it shall be, today marks the day to be persistent in prayers. Prayers can really changes things, becoz the One we pray to is GOD! He's all things possible. )

Hee...also to test test, whether i can post pics or not....keke. :p