In Perfect Timing...

what a week..
finally got to post another here.....everytime seems to be a "challenge" to me. :P
But today, when i m writing this, it is quite different.

i realised blog can be such interesting communication way...to know a friend.
didnt realise this until i FINALLY for into owl's blog.
i rem tt day, when asked for his "permission" to read his blog, i tried. Failed! It just simply went to the Yahoo home page.. Nothing.
oh yes, "owl" Thank you for ur trust n giving the access to your blog. really appreciated it ...:)
then came next few attempts but all FAILED! :( so sad....and found out only "me" encounter such "problems" ( for now, i would call it "problems" ) What's wrong with my comp?? or me-being blog-illiterate?? hee.
the next best attempt was to only get to see the black background of owl's blog...sign....ok, will try again.
on 29th Jan 2005. I saw a "miracle"!! i would probably tink i am on some kind of spacecraft expedition, and the kind of feelings of "landing" onto Mars?! What excitement in my heart!!
prior to this, i was telling owl of all the unsuccesful attempts. But somehow in my heart, i told myself i must "persevere on" and keep on trying. hee, actually not sure whether its because to read owl's blog or because to "conquer" the failed attempts. well, bit of both, i guess...:P

What joy i receive when i finally SAW owl's blog!! wow, its so nice! liked the cursor clock and date.....
in fact, through this incident, its not just about being able to read owl's blog. i learnt about perservering , the experiences of JOY when i persevere on. This helped me also to think about other areas in my life that i need to continually persevere about. And looking forward to the kind of joy i can receive like this one. Yes, God. i know the areas You are letting me see in my life. the ones You are always telling me.....(a "secret" between me and God only) Thank You for showing me the hope of receiving the kind of joy as i persevere on. :)

that's not all.
i now begin to see the reason why You didnt let me see owl's blog anytime earlier or later.
the Perfect Timing.
i read owl's blog as much as i can on the sat nite, though it was very late, and it was way past my ZzzZz hour already. was just thinking what if i cant get in again...hee.
Owl: your blog very long ya...:)
So i just try to read some and caught eye on a particular one post, which has posted two of his favourite songs from a christian album. 1) Lord, i give You my heart 2) Eagles' wings.
they "registered" in my mind....
At sun church today, i look at the lyrics on the front screen....the two songs were played!!! amazing!
as i sing out the songs....i "saw" God's grace. His grace of His given perfect timing.
if i had managed to read owl's blog earlier, i wouldnt have remembered the two songs as clearly as yesterday. And i hadnt read it any later...
Truly so amazing that through the lyrics, i begin to be reminded of waiting upon His perfect timing.
His perfect timing of the many areas in my own life.
God, thank YOu for revealing Your promises to me again,Your assurance of Your providence in my life.
Your assurance that You set everything perfect in Your timing. i will wait....for Your perfect timing.
i am touched for You have heard me. i know You will answer my prayers....

Owl: as God have touched me, i hope you will be touched too, knowing that God wants to let you know u are loved by Him. That's why He plan to have the two songs played today, your 2 fav songs ya. Hee. :)He is so good to u ya....:P

jsut a little more to add...
today, weeleng and wanphing , the couple who went to ecuador for church planting shared their testimonies at svc.
something that they said reminded me....
when we obeyed, God's blessing will come.
When they obeyed God's calling to ecuador, though their minds would think about the well-being of their parents, God did not failed them. the time they were serving the Lord faithfully in Ecuador, God has brought about changes in their families, releasing of weeleng's family's financial situations, te savlations of wanphing's sisters etc...
i want to obey God.

31st jan "last day".
last day to report work at 830am.
ZzzZzz time.....

A sWeEt geStUre

first of all...being able to post another blog here its a amazing thing already! :)
Poy & Wilson: i did it! so bear with me if it sounded repeated to u two. ;p

It is about a song between me and another person. ( i wld name him J for now...)
the first time i met J, this song was sang.
i like the words of the song.
simple but it ws very meaningful to me.
i got to know J through another good friend of mine in my secondary school.
On that day, i befriended J with this song.

This song soon become our Song.
each day as i got to know J more and more, there's always this yearning to know more.
Sometimes this relationship with J wasnt smooth, there were times i teared, i struggled and almost gave up.
i remembered i gave up once.
But sooner or later, i discovered i need J a lot and all the sweet memories with J just came back....
Then four years ago, our relationship was restored.

J is still the same as before. J never change. Always there for me.
Everytime, i told J i wanted to give up, or when i feel down, discouraged.
J always sing this song for me. J did this a number of times already....
a song only between me and J.
a sweet gesture.

Today our song was played again.
i was very touched.
No one can understand how much it means to me.
the timing of this song to be played.
Coz it was between me and J.

Now, for the "first" time, i want to share with you this song.....

Jesus, Lover of my soul
Jesus, Lover of my soul.
Jesus, i will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay
You set my feet upon the rock
And now i know

I love you, i need You
though my world may fall
i'll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest Friend
i'll worship you until the very end.

J is my Jesus.
i hope those around me who know Jesus would love Him more and more each day.
i hope those around me who yet to know Jesus would discover His love for you.

Clearer Vision

jus wondering...how each blogs gets linked up so nicely....haha.
look at my previous blog title....if you can get what i mean. :)

So, to Martian & Venusian: good things need to wait one...hee. ( jus an "excuse" la..;p )

i got a new specs today. waited very long for it...finally! hee, tks to our Govt for the ERS.
another new thing to record for this year. nothing "spectacular" tho, but it's still a new change to me. Coz i had my old specs for so so long that i wldnt want to mention at all..hee. ( since my schooling days...)

BUt something i discover though.
i really need a clearer vision.
when i exchanged the old for the new, wow! what a difference it made. i didnt know that all along i m living in blur vision with my old specs. tho i still survived, it was not as clear as my new specs. i see clearer and more details now.
this brought me to know......
in life, there is a need to have a clear vision. One that motivates me to go on, perservere on and strive on despite whatever storms or circumstances life may bring.
i still remember i once ask God for a personal vision years ago. He showed. Though now i cant really share out the details of it all, i would keep it within my heart for tt day i could share it out. All by His grace.
"without revelation (vision) , man will perish...." how true it is. What would it meant if man on earth do not know why they exist? the reason for their being and living for? was it a mere simple process of being born and died and decompose into the earth? what on earth am i for?

found this meaningful in a book-The Purpose Driven Life (Rick Warren)
Poem by Russell Kelfer - ( sandy: here's another russell.....and this one is a poet. haha.)
You are who you are for a reason
You're part of an intricate plan
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called by God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together withinh the womb,
you're just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
and no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart,
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

Getting the new specs just once again reminded me it's so important to have a vision in our lives, one that will impact eternally.
And it does matter which lenses i put on to have this clear vision?
one of my own desires? or one with God's lenses?
i know, mine would be so short sighted and narrowed, sometimes, self-centered.
God's lenses sees through all. the whole picture in His perfect plan.
well, the answer is clear. To put on His lenses to have a clearer vision!
God, i will try. i will persevere on. i will hang on there. Till i see the vision You have for me to come to pass. that day, it'll be a shared joy i will have with God. All by His grace.

"the man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder --- a waif, a nothing, a no man." Thomas Carlyle

now you see it,now you dont!

substance like love - you cant see love.
symbol of love - you can see.

you cant see the love from a person for you.
But through His action, (symbol of love) you "see" the love expressed.

this week, i "saw" God's grace upon my life.
i was walking across the traffic light road as usual in one "routine working morning" ......
after i crossed, i saw a car turning right to the road which i juz crossed. It was speeding and it was RED light for cars! a van in the oppo direction came on right into that road. A very loud horn. the speeding car just missed and slipped past.
at the junction, i was both shocked for a second, and thankful. Very much thankful. an car accident could have just happen right on the spot tt moment! i could be in "heaven" now with God....but guess God still wants me on earth to serve Him la....:p
These outward actions(happenings) point me to God's grace, that He protected me! i cant see grace, but through the actions, i saw!

It reminded me that when i ask God for faith, i cant really see my faith growing. But i can do something about it today to "see" my faith to grow.
i obey the Word of God.i read and understand the word of God. i pray to Him. i serve other people. i love people through my actions. all these will bring my faith increase more and more as i trust in Him....i would not know how, But God will help me through.
"...God will make it grow...."

"but by the grace of God i am what i am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, i worked harder than all of them--yet not i, but the grace of God that was with me." 1 Cor 15:10

i want to love more people this year, whether be it new people i know, or old friends i already have with me. Lord, teach me to love them the way You loved them. It is by Your grace.
:)

Looking back 8th Jan

why looking back this date?
ya, bacause i was not able to record what happen on that day until now....hm, in fact, to be more precise: i type out already, but then it went BLANK suddenly...sign....gave up coz too late in tat nite then....

Actually something spoke into my heart and touched me a lot while i was at the volunteering event at Hougang that day.
(8th Jan-Volunteer-collection of blankets, bedsheets, towels etc from Hougang Residents-For South Indian Tsunami Victims)
i was there, helping to tag the "unwanted" items from all the collections....
my ex-spiritual mentor (Jean-a beautiful lady who taught me abt the beautiful Lord and helped me grow a lot in my maturity in Christ. She helped me a lot in overcoming my negativity in the way i see things and taught me perservrance and love for people from her life testimony. I thank God for blessing her in my life....miss the shepherding time with her...:)

Ok, back to the "unwanted" thingy..
i saw Jean, and i jokingly said to her: I belong to the "unwanted" items collection centre....
What touched me a lot, tho was that split second kind of thing....was her reply:
no matter what "unwanted" items, i still accept you....( stg like this)
it took me a second to let the words sink through my mind and these words reached my heart. :)

words that express acceptance and love.
the love beyond just spending time together. Coz we havnt meet for long long time personally together.
the acceptance of who i am, my strength and weakness.
the glimpse of Jesus' Love through her life testimony.
To Jean: Thank You so much!! Always my shepherd.
You showed me the heart beat of a shepherd.

"I AM the good shepherd. i know my own sheep and they know me" John 10:14

This blog would remind me to be someone like her, a good shepherd like Jesus.

*Special Message*

Contds.....an interesting message.

=)

"i Wish You Enough"
Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last Moments
together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged
and the mother said,"I love you and I wish you enough."
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough.
Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom."
They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the windowwhere I sat.
Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking,"Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this aforever good-bye?"
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the
reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough."
MayI ask what that means?"
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other
generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail
and she smiled evenmore.
"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to
have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".
Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it frommemory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear muchbigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough helloes to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

May we learn to appreciate all people and things God has given to us.
Personally in the past someone told me before, " i wish you Jesus."
hm, i asked: "what does this means?"
Reply came," Because with Jesus, its EVERYTHING! so i wish you Jesus to bless you everyting."

i wish you Jesus.

Drawing a "Line"...

New Year starts! The atmosphere of newness in the air....the talk of new year resolutions, reflections, and dreams for the year ahead....
oh yes, reflection has becoming a habit of mine. It reminds me of what has been blessed into my life. The things i dont deserved to get, but i received! And areas i dont realised the changes brought into my life,the moulding work in me until i reflect and evaluate. :)

So many things has happen in my life that 2004. Whether personal, family, or my relationship with God. i give thanks for being a very small person in this world, facing challenges in my own life, God saw me. He know everything about me. He know every thought when far away. He chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest. He both precede and follow me. :)

if i would to write all that He has blessed me, all that He guided me through, all that He has helped me. Too long to write la! hee. Maybe one of the significant incident, is when my family was "forced" to move out and settled into Sengkang due to financial troubles rolling over from the closing down of the shop that my family runs for over 20+years.The "world" in my life then was pretty "darkened" and faced a lot of uncertainties. Of course, worries and anxeity overwhelms. Truthfully, qtn did come..."why does this happen?" Yet, through this incident, my faith "shakes" into stronger and firmer foundation. It was not about me but about who i trust in, the One whom knows me well. One summary: He has always with me where He brought me.

i give thanks too for the many new friends i came to know. New friendships, yet i felt we knew for long. And many of those "old" friendships, i am thankful that we kept it. :) my life in 2004 was meaningful because friends are there when i needed a comfort hand, they are there when i needed people to share the hope to me, they are there to give encouragement when i needed to grow as a person.,they are there to correct me when i was wrong. To all my "old" friends and new friends: thank you!! "i wish you enough" (see my next msg...hee)

2005. i hope to see new changes in my life. Only when moving out of my comfort zone, then will i learnt to be resilient to changes. i hope to be less "stubborn" for the not-so-beneficial things, hee, to be "stubborn" for things i should be firm in. Yea, to draw the line and not to waver in between. To accept new challenges that i may grow.....

its gonna be like a race. here it is, a slow start ....drawing a line.....what is next? :)